Whenever You Remember
by Mags0607
Summary: Brooke left for California, leaving a brokenhearted Lucas in her wake. Once tragedy brings them back together, will they see what's right in front of them, or will their stubborn pride ruin the best thing they've ever had. Brucas.
1. Anymore

**This story takes place after the season 2 finale, and pretty much explains itself from there. If you have any questions, just let me know. This is going to be slightly different from how the current season is going.**

**Chapter 1 –Anymore**

_I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore  
I can't hold the hurt inside,_

_keep the pain out of my eyes anymore_

Brooke Davis seemed to have it all, money, beauty, brains. She was the kind of girl that everyone wanted to be. The happy-go-lucky party girl, who looked and acted liked she didn't have a care in the world.

But, that was the Brooke Davis that she wanted everyone to see.

_And appearances can be deceiving. _

Too bad, none of her new friends could see that her smiles never reached her eyes, and that her laugh was empty. The happy-go-lucky girl that everyone adored was just an act.

Sure, she had a new life that most girls would dream of. She lived in a mansion on the beach, in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Southern California. She drove a brand new Mercedes convertible, and wore all the best designer clothes. She was wildly popular at her new school, and she had even managed to become the new head cheerleader within a month. She was adored by all the girls, had all of the right friends, and all the boys were already putty in her hands. She had everything that any girl could ever want.

But, Brooke Davis was missing the one thing she desperately needed to be happy. _Her heart_.

Unfortunately, she left her heart in Tree Hill, with the blonde haired, blue-eyed boy that had stolen it the first time she ever laid eyes on him.

_Lucas Scott_

He was the boy who had shown her how to love, who had seen the real Brooke Davis. The first boy she had ever let past the tough façade and party girl image. The same boy who had completely destroyed her, and broken her heart in the worst possible way. The boy who cheated on her with her best friend. But, he was so much more than the ex who had ripped her world to pieces. Over the last few months they had rebuilt their fragile relationship and become friends. He had stood by her, believed in her, and had made her believe that she could be more than just a pretty party girl. He had started to gain her trust again, and unbeknownst to her, had managed to find his way back into her heart.

A heart he once again crushed when he confessed his love for her before she left Tree Hill for the summer.

She had looked into his piercing blue eyes, and she did the only thing that her heart would let her. _She ran_. Tearfully, regretfully, she pulled away from the boy who meant everything to her, and left without a word. She had cried the whole way to her new home, cried the first week she was there, and she had come to the realization that he had her heart, back in Tree Hill. And pieces of a broken heart never make a person feel whole.

But what was she to do? Three months had passed, and she found herself starting school in California, starting over, and starting a life without the people that mattered most to her. She had the chance to go back, but didn't know how to face him. So when her parents had pushed for her to stay in California, she had given in, and gave up on the only place she had ever called home.

She had tried to pick up the phone so many times, tried to call the people whom she loved, but something stopped her every time. She couldn't face Lucas, she didn't know what she would say, she loved him, that was certain, but she was too scared to open up and let him back in. She couldn't tell Peyton, her best friend, that she wasn't coming back. She couldn't face how she left those who meant the world to her, so she chose just not to face them at all.

Instead, she did what she did best. She put on a fake smile, turned on the charm, and became the Brooke that only a select few had managed to see past. She once again became the superficial cheerleader, and tried not to think of what she had left behind.

Only every now and then she would sit down and remember life in Tree Hill, and only then would she cry, because she didn't quite know how she could move on. Lucas still had her heart, and she didn't know if she would ever get it back.

_My tears no longer waiting, my resistance ain't that strong  
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone  
And I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore_

**ANN:** Song lyrics are from Tavis Tritt, and the song is titled 'I Don't Love You Anymore.

Don't worry the chapters will get longer. I am just setting it up. Please let me know what you think, this is my first attempt at writing fan fiction._  
_


	2. I Can't Go There

**Chapter 2- I Can't Go There**

_I can't go there_

_Cuz thats just too much us_

_I can't go there_

_I still feel your touch_

_Theres places in my heart and head that feel as empty as our bed_

_So most nights i dont even walk upstairs_

_Cuz I can't go there_

Lucas Scott sat at the beach and watched the waves roll in and out from the shoreline. He found himself ending up at the beach more and more these days. Most days it brought him peace, but other days it just made him think.

_And the memories were just too hard to escape from._

She had nicknamed him _Broody_, and in the days after her departure, he had certainly lived up to his nickname. Now, nearly four months later, her memory still found its way into his head. And on those particular days when she was all he could think of, he would find himself sitting on the beach wondering where everything had just gone wrong. He couldn't help but believe that most of it was his fault, and he knew that he would probably be right. After all, he was the one that had broken her heart, he had fought hard just to be her friend again after his betrayal, and then he had driven her away a second time by blurting out that he still had feelings for her mere minutes before she was leaving for the summer. Too bad that summer had turned into forever, and he now had a lifetime to accept the fact that he had lost the best thing he ever had.

_Brooke Davis._

She had come into his life like a tornado. Brash, sexy, confident, she knew exactly what she wanted and went for it. She was beautiful with her chestnut hair and almond eyes that danced with mischief when she talked. She put on a front as a superficial, snobby party girl, but he had seen past that and gotten to know the real Brooke Davis. The Brooke Davis who was fiercely loyal, the beautiful girl who just wanted someone to love her and make her feel safe. For a few short months he had that, he had her heart, but he was too blind and stubborn to see what was right in front of him. That was until he screwed it all up by cheating on her with her best friend.

It had taken months of harsh treatment, a temporary departure on his part, and the marriage of his best friend and brother to bring her back into his life. They had formed a tentative friendship, one that had grown stronger until the brown eyed beauty had completely captured his heart. He had been her confidante and her friend, and he had destroyed it with a kiss. _A kiss which she had run from and never looked back._

He had called her a couple times during the summer, but had gotten no response. He had heard it from Peyton that she wasn't coming back. For the first time in what seemed like forever, there was no Cheery to balance out his Broody, and that thought seriously disturbed him.

_But she was gone_.

It seemed to be a recurring trend in his life lately. It seemed like everyone he cared about had left Tree Hill, had left him. First his Uncle Keith had driven off into the night, location unknown, just to escape Tree Hill and the people who had betrayed him. Then, his best friend, Haley James Scott, had boarded the first bus to super-stardom, and left behind those who had been her past. His brother Nathan, who he had only recently grown close to, disowned him and left for High Flyers for the summer. Nathan had been the only one to return, but gone still was the Nathan he had grown to love as a friend as well as a brother. _Then there was her_. Somehow, it always led back to Brooke Davis.

Tree Hill had been a lonely place the last few months, and the beginning of senior year had been no picnic. He was still on the basketball team, but for how long he didn't really know. He knew he shouldn't play with his heart condition, but basketball was one of the only things he hadn't lost. He still had Peyton, but she was too occupied with the drama in her own life, that he didn't want to burden her further. So for now he would simply go on, even though he was sure that his heart would never be the same. For now it would continue to be more than a little bit broken.

_Maybe I could let myself move on  
But its everywhere we've been  
And everywhere I turn  
I can't love again  
Cuz i've learned  
That I can't go there  
Its somethin i can't do  
I can't go there  
I'll run into you  
I can't go there _

Winter, summer, fall or spring  
I see you in everything

* * *

The lyrics in this chapter belong to Kenny Chesney from the song '_I Can't Go There.'_ Once again, sadly I do not own the characters. Thanks for reading. 


	3. The Ghost of a Good Thing

Okay, first off thanks for the reviews guys, it means a lot. Flashbacks are from _The Leaver's Dance Episode 2.23_. Flashbacks are in italics. And once again, sadly I do not own the characters of One Tree Hill.

**Chapter 3- Ghost of a Good Thing**

_Brooke was sitting on the bed, reluctantly waiting for the taxi to take her away from the place she had called home for seventeen years. She didn't want to leave Tree Hill, even if it was only for the summer. All of the people she loved were here- Peyton, Karen, **Lucas**. Even though she had tried to deny it, she would probably miss him most of all._

_Suddenly, she was broken from her random thoughts by the sound of the red door he had painted for her opening and closing quickly. As she looked up into the piercing blue eyes of the boy that was wreaking havoc on her emotions, she realized just how tough it would be to say goodbye to him._

"_So I guess this is goodbye?" _

_But instead of answering her, Lucas quickly pulled her into a tight hug. A hug that neither of them particularly wanted to end. She gazed at him longingly, afraid to let go for fear of forgetting how he felt, how he held her, and how safe she felt in his arms. Smiling sadly, she went to pull away, but before she could, she was pulled into an earth-shattering kiss. _

_Stunned, she pulled back in shock, "Tell me that was a goodbye kiss."_

"_I wanna be with you, Brooke." _

"_What?"_

"_I'm sorry. I know we're friends… it's just how I feel."_

_She could hear the emotion in his voice and she wanted so badly to believe him, to just run straight back into his arms. But, there was one thing that was stopping her._

"_What about Peyton's stuff?" _

_He sighed before finding the right words to explain the box of items she had inadvertently stumbled upon a few days before. "I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up things. **With you**. To remind myself, if I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again." _

_She was shocked to say the least. She knew she had developed feelings for him again, but she had made herself believe that he still had feelings for Peyton. Now here he was spilling his guts to her, and she couldn't do anything but just stare at him and stutter. She had never imagined that these would be his departing words to her. She never believed that the very moment she was supposed to leave was the one moment he would choose to give her every reason to never be apart from him again._

"_I don't know what to say... I… um..." Her rambling was stopped by the honking of the cab signaling that it was time for her to leave Tree Hill and Lucas Scott behind. The thought of actually walking out that door brought tears to her eyes, but the truth was that she was scared. It was too late. 'He had missed his chance with her, hadn't he?' _

_She looked into his eyes and could see that he meant every word he was saying to her, that he was laying his heart on the line for her. And by just looking straight into his eyes she could see it, she could see the love in his eyes, and that terrified her more than anything._

_Taking one last deep breath, she pulled a 'Brooke Davis' ignoring her heart and taking the easy way out. She took one last look into his eyes and did everything her heart was screaming at her not to. She walked straight past him, breaking eye contact, and effectively breaking both their hearts._

"_I gotta go." She whispered, afraid her voice would crack if she tried to speak any louder. _

"_Brooke?" He called out. "You think… you could ever"_

"_Lucas" she managed to choke out. "I'm sorry... I… I gotta go."_

_The tears were freely falling down her face by this point and just looking at him broke her heart. But, she couldn't make herselfput her heart out there again, not when she still had to get on a plane to California.She was too afraid, afraid that there was no going back if she let him in again. Afraid because she knew that it would hurt even more this time if they managed to screw it up again. So she tenderly touched his face one last time, and without another word, **she was gone**._

_She didn't even make it to the cab before she was hysterically bawling, and regretting walking away from the only boy she ever loved. And in that moment she was so tempted to just turn around and tell him she felt the same way._

"Brooke. Brooke. BROOKE."

She was jolted out of her trance by her friend Shelly excitedly snapping her fingers in her face.

"Hello, what planet were you on, we're late for practice. Come on." She practically yelled, dragging Brooke down the hallway and into the girl's locker room.

Brooke didn't know how long she had been day dreaming about Lucas, but she knew that her heart broke a little more every time that memory resurfaced. Shaking herself from her Lucas induced haze; she blinked back the moisture forming in her eyes and put on her best fake cheerleader smile.

After all, she still was Brooke Davis, SCHS's cheer captain, and she had a reputation and an image to uphold.

Walking up to Shelly and the rest of the squad, she quickly transformed into the feisty, peppy Brooke Davis they all knew and loved. "Alright ladies, let's get this practice started" she grinned.

Shelly excitedly turned around, "Oh My God! Brooke, I have the best plans for next weekend," she beamed. Shelly was just as much of a party girl as Brooke and prided herself on being the gossip queen and always knowing about the hottest parties. Maybe that's why she and Brooke had hit it off the moment they met.

"Well, I guess practice can wait until after the hot gossip. So tell me what are these fabulous plans" Brooke laughed, waiting to see just what trouble they would end up finding this time.

"Well, there is a kick ass concert down at the beach, and we all have to be there. It's a can't miss," Shelly eagerly responded.

"And just who exactly can we not bear to miss see play?" Brooke challenged.

"The Wrecker's, Gavin DeGraw, some Chris Keller kid, and Haley something-or-other" one of the other cheerleaders supplied.

When Brooke heard the last performer in the blowout concert, the shock was apparent and she could barely get out the words.

"Uh…Haley…James, _her name is Haley James"_ she managed to choke out trying horribly to contain her surprise at the news.

It seemed that Brooke wasn't the only one who had left behind a Scott boy in order to live a completely different life somewhere far away from Tree Hill. And somehow, she felt that just seeing Haley again would change everything.


	4. Sideways

**Thanks for all the reviews from the last chapter. They mean a lot. Now on with the chapter. And as always, I do not own One Tree Hill, or any of the characters.**

**Chapter 4- Sideways**

_These feelings won't go away  
They've been knockin' me sideways  
I keep thinking in a moment that  
Time will take them away  
But these feelings won't go away_

"I don't care if you two hate each other!" Whitey screamed.

"You can kill each other for all I care, as long as you don't do it inside these four walls. Because when you're in this gym you will act like teammates… or I will bench you both** permanently**"

Whitey pounded his fists on his desk, practically shaking the walls of the tiny office, letting the boys sitting in front of him know he meant business. Once again, he found himself yelling at the Scotts who had managed to start another brawl in the middle of basketball practice. If there was one thing constant in the Raven's team this year, it was the fighting between the brothers.

The animosity between the Nathan and Lucas had grown worse since basketball season started. Without Haley or Brooke to act as buffers for the boys, their wise-ass comments and smart remarks toward each other soon escalated into all out war. What first started as Nathan mouthing off toward an unsuspecting Lucas, had quickly grown into harsh remarks and low-blows being dealt by both of the brothers Scott.

Usually, fists started flying the moment either boy mentioned Brooke or Haley. It seemed like that was the trigger that set off either one of the guys. A smart remark would be made, usually by Nathan, and Lucas would retort with a remark about Haley. Then the gloves would come off and the brothers would take their hurt and anger out on each other until they were ripped apart by their teammates and coach.

Whitey seriously contemplated just letting them duke it out. _May the best man win_. At least it would stop the fighting. But then his good sense kicked back in and he realized that losing one or both of his star players to violence was probably not the best idea. He had to resort to drastic measures, and find a way to fix this situation, _fast._

As hot-headed as they both were, Lucas and Nathan knew when to keep quiet, and right then neither boy dared to utter a word to the coach who was furiously digging into the file cabinet in search of something. They both knew that they had gone too far, and this time Whitey meant business.

Whitey turned around and thrust something at each of the boys, startling them with his sudden movement. They looked at the matching "C" emblems, and waited to figure out which way the old man had found to torture them now.

"I'm not going to have you two at each other's throats all season, so you two can either cooperate with each other or rip this team apart, either way you're going to do it **together.**"

"_Congratulations co-captains_." He sneered. "Now get out of my office, both of you!"

* * *

"Well, well, well… if it isn't my two favorite fighting Ravens. What's the matter boys? You two look like your dog just died." Peyton teased them as she watched her two closet friends walk out of the locker room and shoot daggers at each other. She, along with the rest of the cheerleaders, had witnessed the brothers' battle, and she had stuck around to see if she could talk a little sense into the two idiots she called friends. But judging by the frowns etched permanently on both their faces, she figured that whatever had happened in Whitey's office could not be good. _Not at all._

Nathan just ignored her and glared at Lucas, "I don't care what Whitey said, this is still my team, and you better get your ass in shape because I will not let you screw up this team anymore than you already have.

"That's okay Nate, you manage to screw up the good things you have all on your own now, don't you." Lucas challenged.

Just as Nathan was about to grab him and punch him for the second time in one day, Peyton jumped in between the two. "**_Guys, this has got to stop!_** You're brothers for crying out loud. And more importantly, **_you used to be friends!"_**

"Whatever," Nathan muttered as he turned and walked out the gym, leaving Lucas glaring at the back of his head.

"Luke you two have got to fix this thing between you and Nathan. It's really starting to get out of hand."

"I know, okay, Peyton, but he's just so damn… stubborn."

The next thing Peyton heard was Luke's fist connecting with the locker and his frustrated scream.

"This is just not how I pictured us spending our senior year."

He didn't elaborate further, but Peyton knew what he meant. He didn't imagine their senior year without Brooke, or Haley, for that matter. She knew that he wasn't dealing with their absence particularly well. She wasn't either. After all, those were two of her best friends that were missing too. And it was hard, especially with Brooke being gone. Peyton missed her best friend so much, and she knew that Lucas felt the same way. It seemed that the once inseparable group was missing their heart and soul, and all the friends were falling apart in their absence.

"Look, Pey, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later," he sighed as he walked out of the gym and got into his car.

* * *

Lucas just starting driving around aimlessly, not really sure what he was feeling. _'He and Nathan co-captains.'_ There was no way in hell that was going to work out. They could barley get through a practice as teammates, how in the world were they going to lead the team as captains?

First off, Lucas didn't know how much of the Raven's practices his heart could handle. The medicine for the HCM had made him sluggish and easily winded. He was lagging behind in sprints and could barely keep up with the rest of the team during drills. The only reason that Whitey probably hadn't kicked him off the team yet, was because his fade away was the only thing that had actually improved.

He knew he physically had to push himself harder.

Basketball was not something he was willing to give up just yet. He had already lost too many things he loved this year, and he was not about to add another thing to the list qiute yet.

If he worked harder and pushed himself harder he could just overcome the limitations of the medicine. '_Couldn't he?" _He sure as hell was going to try. After all, he was the co-captain now. He couldn't let the team down like that, and he certainly couldn't let Nathan get the satisfaction. He would get better, he just had to.

Almost instinctively, he found himself passing the Rivercourt and figured that maybe he could clear his head just a little. This place had always made him think better and brought him some sort of peace. He hoped it would do that today.

Lucas was so absorbed in shooting hoops that he didn't see other car pull up, and he didn't hear the beautiful cheerleader get out the car before she snuck up behind him and threw her hands over his eyes.

"You know, this game would be a lot more interesting if one of both of us wasn't wearing any clothes," she sexily whispered in his ear. "_Guess who, handsome_."

Luke could almost feel his lips form a slight smile; he would recognize that voice anywhere. _"Rachel"_ he said as turned around to face her, wondering just what she was up to this time.

Rachel Getina was the new girl in Tree Hill, and she had made her mark from the second she arrived in the small town. She was overly confident, sexy, had a great body, and was a relatively good cheerleader. Overall, she was pretty in a sort of promiscuous way, but she was still very hot. She knew what she wanted, and she was not the kind of girl who would take no for an answer. _And right now she wanted Lucas Scott._

So far he had found her half naked in the back of his car, she had managed to "accidentally" walk in on him in the locker room, and he had found her conveniently sun-bathing at the Rivercourt the other day. He had resisted her advances, but so far that hadn't stopped her.

Some of her antics reminded him of Brooke, back before he really got to know her. She acted the same, dressed the same, and even pulled off some of Brooke's famous moves. But the thing was, she wasn't Brooke, and no matter how hard she tried or how pretty she was, she paled in comparison to the chestnut haired beauty that still had Lucas' heart. Rachel Getina certainly was no Brooke Davis.

'_But, Brooke's not here, you_ _idiot'_ his mind screamed. And the feel of her lips on his neck and her hand running down his back, were making it hard for him to resist her advances much longer.

"You know, this would be a lot easier on both of us if you just gave up this hard to get act. I'll admit, it's kinda cute, but I'm ready for some real fun" she purred as she leaned up and pecked him on the lips. He quickly pulled away, and just stared at the girl in front of him.

"What do you say we go out Friday, and have a good time?"

Luke pondered her offer for a moment. On one hand, here was this beautiful girl who wanted him and wasn't afraid to let the whole world know. On the other hand, she was kinda pushy, and her antics were a little slutty and definitely not in a good way. His heart was still hung up on Brooke, but his head was screaming that this was his chance to move on. '_You know she's probably in California doing the same thing. She probably doesn't even think about you anymore'_ That thought was enough to make him respond in a way he never thought he would. Against his better judgment, he simply smiled at her.

"Sure, you name the place." As soon as the words left his mouth, Rachel took that as an opportunity to kiss him once again, and this time he didn't pull away.

He already knew that she didn't measure up to Brooke. She just didn't have the same endearing qualities, and he was sure that there were no other layers under her party girl exterior, but he sure as hell was going to try and make himself move on. _Without Brooke Davis._ And Rachel was giving him the perfect opportunity to do just that.

_But, somehow, his subconscious already knew that this very decision would come back to haunt him_.

_These feelings won't go away  
_

_I keep thinking in a moment that  
Time will take them away_

Ok guys, don't hate me for this chapter. I promise that Brooke and Lucas will be in the same city soon enough. Now, I would love to hear what you thought. Thanks for reading.


	5. Crazy Girls

I don't own One Tree Hill or the characters. Now on with the chapter, and remember… If you read it, review it. It means a lot.

**Chapter 5- Crazy Girls**

The ringing of Brooke's cell phone distracted her from getting ready, and the familiar sound of Jimmy Eat World's _"Hear You Me_" echoed throughout the room. She looked at the phone, but wasn't sure how she could answer the familiar voice from Tree Hill that was sure to be on the other line.

So like she did every week when that particular phone call came, she ignored it, unable to pick up and say hello to one of her best friends. The truth was, she was dying to pick up the phone, but she wasn't quite sure how she would explain her actions over the last few months.

So she continued to just stare at the phone and just let it ring, patiently waiting for the voicemail she was sure would soon follow.

Every week she got voicemails form her old life. Most were from Peyton, a couple from Lucas, the girls on the squad, even one from Karen and one from Nathan. She knew they missed her; _truth was she missed them too_, but she was afraid to face what they had to say. It was the same fear the kept Brooke in California, the fear that was eating her alive. So like she did every time the phone rang she simply waited to hear what news she would get from Tree Hill this time.

The phone chirped, signaling that she indeed did have a new voicemail, and she could feel her palms get just a little sweaty as she punched in the familiar security code. She may not have been able to talk to all her old friends, but that didn't stop her from listening to what they had to say.

She listened to every single voicemail that they left her, she saved them all too. No matter how pointless they seemed at the time, she always saved them, unable to part with the last part of her old life that she desperately clung to. She usually listened to those voicemails over and over, trying to figure out a way to tell those who had been everything to her that she had let them down, that she just couldn't face them, so she had started over.

She smiled a sad smile as the familiar voice rang in her ear. Same time each week, she would hear her best friend give her the details from home. _'Hey Brooke it's me…**but you already knew that**… I call every week. Truth is girlie, we miss you. And Tree Hill hasn't been the same since you've been gone. I keep trying to think what California has that we don't besides a lot more sun and shopping,_' the voice half-heartedly laughed from the other end_. Come on Brooke, the old B. Davis would have faced her fears by now, and I can't figure out what has you so afraid. The thing is, we need you. **I need you**, and I'm not the only one. The real reason I'm calling this time is...'_ Brooke could hear her voice pause on the other line, and then let out a sigh. "_The real reason is… Nathan and Lucas. They have been getting out of hand lately with the fighting, and I think you are the only one who could actually stop them. **You**, and a certain other person who is currently missing, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I just wanted to say come home. And I'm going to keep telling you to come home until your back. Because you know it and I know it, **Tree Hill is where you belong.**'_

Brooke was almost in tears by the time she finished listening to the voicemail. Leave it to Peyton to make her want to hop on the next flight home. But, she knew she wouldn't. She had a new life here. _A life that she liked_. And she wasn't about to go running back just to get her heart broken again.

Still, the voicemail kept nagging at her. This was the first time that Peyton had mentioned Lucas. Little did she know, that he was the main reason Brooke was afraid to go home.

Shaking herself from a train of thought that would simply drive her crazy, she turned back to her vanity and continued getting ready for the wild night Shelly and her crazy cheerleading friends had planned. What better way to forget the past, than to drink to the future.

And that's exactly what Brooke planned to do. _'No more thoughts of Lucas Scott, there are plenty other boys to play with' _She smiled, content with her appearance, and when the little nagging voice in her head chanted, ' _There may be other boys, but none of them are Lucas,'_ she simply chose to ignore it. She was going to have a good time tonight if it killed her.

The honking of Shelly's limo made her hurry out the front door of the beautiful mansion. It was time to have fun, and she certainly remembered the definition of that word.

Smiling as she climbed into the limo of her awaiting friends she announced, "Okay ladies, the night is young, we are fine, let's break some hearts." And with that, Brooke Davis was off to enjoy her new life.

* * *

She woke up with a slight headache, wondering what exactly happened the night before. She was in her own bed '_Good sign'_ She was alone. '_Good sign._' But, as she crawled out of bed to take a look at her appearance, she noticed a rather large hickey on her neck. _'Bad sign'_

The last two weeks had been a blur for Brooke. There was the killer party last Friday, followed by an even bigger blowout on Saturday. Then Brooke and her friends had continued the festivities with Martini Monday, Tequilla Tuesday, and a whole array themed drinking parties. She had truly reverted back to her sophomore year antics, but this time, at least she was a little more careful about who she brought home after a night of drinking.

Sure, she had made out with a few guys; she even had the hickey to prove it, but so far no one had joined her in her bed. At least that was a good thing. She knew she couldn't keep this up all year, but she was having fun, and most of all she was avoiding all her problems.

Tonight, though, she was going to be reminded of her past, because tonight she was going to see Haley James play at the beach-front concert she and her friends would be attending.

Truth was, she was really excited to see Haley, and really curious to see why she was still on tour. Brooke was sure she would have gone home by now. But she really couldn't blame her; _Tutorgirl wasn't the only one avoiding Tree Hill. _For some reason, Brooke wasn't afraid to face Haley. Maybe because she had run away too or maybe because she knew Haley would simply understand. Either way, she knew this concert would definitely be one to remember.

Brooke was amazed at how many people were actually at the concert. Shelly had managed to snag them pretty good tickets, so she was upfront to see what Tutorgirl had in store for them.

"Brooke, why are you bouncing around like your nervous?' Shelly asked, getting a little annoyed with Brooke's constant fidgeting.

"I'm just excited that's all… The thing is, I used to be friends with the opening act." She replied nervously. She hoped that she and Haley would get the chance to be friends again after tonight.

"You mean from back in Wood Mountain"

"Its Tree Hill guys, and yes, we were friends back home. Now, shut up, she's about to come on stage," Brooke yelled, as the lights began to lower and a confident and sexy looking Haley James took the stage.

Brooke was surprised at just how far her shy Tutorgirl had come. Gone was the girl who nervously played at Tric, gone was the girl who was afraid to let other's see how talented she was. Instead, Brooke saw _Haley James, rock-star_. The only way Brooke could even tell that she was nervous was when she saw her gingerly grasp onto something around her neck, and recognized the wedding ring that had once adorned Haley's finger. _Maybe Tutorgirl hadn't forgotten about her husband after all._

"Hello California!" came Haley's voice from the stage. "I'm so excited to be here tonight. This first song is something I wrote that is very special to me. I wrote it for someone that I care about a lot. Here it is, _Crazy Girls_…"

The crowd immediately applauded as the first chords of Haley's song reverberated across the beach.

_I've been behind on the events of the past 7 days_

_I've been sleeping in my bed_

_And missing you like sometimes crazy girls do_

_I've been hanging like a child onto this photograph of us_

_It was taken on a bus across town the last time I saw you_

_Nathan._ Brooke could immediately tell that Haley had written this song for him. There were so many memories of them in that song. Obviously, she wasn't over him, but the question was why wasn't she with him? _'You should ask yourself the same thing about Lucas'_ her mind screamed, but she ignored it and quickly got lost in her friend's voice.

_And now this whole world is going 'round_

_But it's when you're gone it really brings me down, down_

_Well I can't get myself together I'm soaking in the pain_

_It's ridiculous how easy it is to go astray_

_When my focus ain't right_

_Sometimes crazy's all right_

_And now this whole world is going 'round_

_But it's when you're gone it really brings me down, oh_

_Oh well You wait till I get back home again_

_Cause I'm willing to give this another chance_

_Only you baby keep me up at night_

_Sometimes, crazy's alright_

_Home._ Damn, Haley James for making her think of Tree Hill when she was supposed to be enjoying her new life. It felt like Haley was singing this song directly about her. She guessed she wasn't too far off, after all Scott boys were hard to forget. She just guessed it was something she and Tutorgirl had in common. Now, she was more determined than ever to talk to Haley.

_Well I never thought I'd say I was in love with you again_

_Funny how my life had come around to this_

_And I'm crazy for you I do like crazy girls do_

_And now this whole world is going 'round_

_But it's when you're gone it really brings me down, oh_

_Oh well You wait till I get back home again_

_Cause I'm willing to give this another chance_

_Only you baby keep me up at night_

_Sometimes, crazy's alright_

_Crazy' alright_

After the song, Haley sang a few more, doing some more originals and some covers as well. But Brooke couldn't get the words to _Crazy Girls_ out of her head. There was just something about that song that was playing with her emotions.

Brooke was taken out of her thoughts by the thundering applause signaling that Haley had indeed finished her set, and was soon replaced by the cocky Chris Keller; just looking at him made Brooke cringe. _'I'll never figure out what even possessed Haley to kiss that boy, he's so repulsive' _she thought to herself. But that wasn't important right now. Right now, she had to find Tutorgirl. She just hoped Haley was happy to see her.

* * *

Haley was signing autographs after another show in another city. Just a part of her new life, a part of her new daily routine. 

She really loved the music, and she was getting the opportunity of a lifetime, but she couldn't help but feel lonely sometimes. After all, the old Haley James would have been content to curl up with some homework, chase Lucas with water balloons, or watch Nathan play basketball. The problem was, she wasn't the old Haley James anymore. She had a great life and a great career; she really didn't have any room to complain. So for now, she would push away all the thoughts threatening to bombard her, and she would enjoy the life she had.

She did love the rush of all the fans who screamed her name after a show, though. That was the part she loved the most. It still thrilled her that people actually liked what she sang and that people would actually stand and wait to receive an autograph from her. So, she would always stay and make sure that she greeted each one of her fans personally.

"_Tutorgirl"_

Haley looked around; she had to be hearing things. There was only one person in the world who would dare call her Tutorgirl, and that person was back in Tree Hill, _wasn't she?_ But, as she turned back to sign more autographs, she distinctly heard that name again.

"_Tutorgirl,"_ and then she was assaulted by the familiar chestnut hair that could only belong to Brooke Davis.

"Brooke, what are you doing here?" Haley asked while detangling the brunette, and waving off the security members who were about to drag Brooke away.

"I live here now. You're not the only one who left Tree Hill" Brooke replied cheekily, but Haley could see the sadness behind her eyes. It was the same sadness that was mirrored in her own.

"What do you say, we ditch this joint and catch up like old times" Haley nervously asked, hoping that at least the brunette in front of her would understand why she had never returned.

The enthusiastic nod coming from the brunette, made Haley grin in relief. Somehow, she knew that Brooke was exactly what she needed to feel better. And then maybe, she wouldn't feel quite so alone. Besides, she was extremely curious to figure out why Brooke was residing in California instead of Tree Hill, and especially how her best friend factored into the equation.

* * *

The lyrics in this chapter were from Bethany Joy Lenz, _Crazy Girls_. This chapter was just filler, but I was really nervous about it, so I would love to hear what you guys think. The next couple of chapters are going to be drama-filled, so be prepared. Thanks for reading. 


	6. Several Ways to Die Trying

Unfortunately I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters….

**Chapter 6- Several Ways to Die Trying**

Lucas rolled over and his arm accidentally landed on the red head currently asleep on the other side of the bed. He barely remembered how they had gotten home last night. As he looked over at her one more time, he noticed that she was fully clothed, as was he. _"Thank God, he hadn't done anything too stupid last night_.' At least he didn't think he had.

This had been a routine for him ever since he had agreed to go out with Rachel a couple weeks ago. She would drag him out, get him drunk, and then she would be all over him. And for two weeks he had been shooting down her advances because he wasn't ready take it to that level with her yet. Sure she was hot, but he had promised himself that sex would mean something this time around. He liked her, he did, but he wasn't sure if he could date a girl that was so hard to handle.

But she made the days go by faster, and she was a welcome distraction to all the other drama going on in his life. She was uncomplicated, she never made him doubt that she wanted him, and she wasn't bad to look at. In fact, most of the guys at school stared jealously at him every time she strutted up to him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

'_Then why are you so anxious to get rid of her in the morning,_' a little voice inside of his head asked. He wasn't quite sure of the answer to that question, but the nagging little voice inside of him told him that it had something to do with Brooke Davis. He had to get to practice anyway, so he could use that as his excuse to boot the red head out of his room.

"Morning, handsome," she purred, as she reached out to grab him. "You know, we could continue what we started last night," she whispered in his ear, as she began to kiss him and take off his shirt.

"As much as I would love to Rachel, I've got practice, and you know how off my game has been lately. I have to focus." It wasn't a complete lie; in fact he still needed to push himself harder if he wanted to keep up in tonight's game.

He didn't miss the crestfallen look on her face as she slowly climbed out of his bed and headed to the door. And it was strange to him that he didn't really care all that much, even though he knew he was supposed to.

"Good-bye, handsome, but remember, you're all mine after the game tonight" and with a wink and a quick kiss she was gone.

* * *

5…4…3…2…1… 

The clock in the gym slowly ticked by as Lucas put all of his energy into crossing the line before the time ran out. This was just a routine drill, something he could have completed without difficulty just a few short months ago. The problem was his medicine, it was slowing him down. And that was just not acceptable.

So, he once again found himself in the gym long after practice, trying desperately to beat the clock.

3…2…1…

He managed to finish the drill just in time, panting heavily from the exertion on his heart. At least he was getting better. Now, all he had to do was make it though the game tonight and he could prove to himself, to Whitey, and to Nathan that he was still the same player he always had been.

He was panting so hard that he didn't hear the curly blond enter until she was right in front of him.

"You don't look so hot. Tired from a wild night with Tree Hill's favorite skank… aka. Rachel?" she taunted, mocking Luke with her bluntness.

"Save it Peyton… I don't know what you have against Rachel in the first place."

'_She not Brooke' _was Peyton's first thought"She's trash Lucas, and I don't know what you see in her. Besides, she has made it her mission to take over the squad, and I don't trust her. Plus, I don't see why you're even with her… its not like you even like her that much."

"Peyton, just butt out of it. It's none of your damn business anyway" Lucas yelled. Their conversations had been ending the same way lately. Peyton would attack Rachel, he would defend Rachel, and then she would get pissed. But, today was even worse.

"You know, in case you haven't noticed, I'm the only friend you have left. And with your attitude towards your friends, it's no wonder they all leave" She angrily screamed at Lucas.

She knew it was none of her business and that her last remark had been a low blow, but she simply hated Rachel and wanted Lucas to have nothing to do with her. She knew it was because she didn't want Lucas to move on without Brooke, because if he was still waiting for Brooke, then she would have more reason to come back, right? She knew it was stupid, but Lucas was seriously pissing her off and she needed someone to take her frustration out on.

"You know what Peyton" Lucas spat. "I would just leave; you're not wanted here anyway."

Peyton didn't even respond, instead she just stormed out the gym.

'_Crap, could this day get any worse.'_

_

* * *

_

Lucas walked into the gym, ready for the tough game that faced him. The Bear Creek Warriors were a worthy opponent, and he wasn't too sure if he would make it though the whole game. _Didn't mean he wasn't going to try._

"Try and put some points on the board this game, _co-captain_," Nathan sneered as he "accidentally" bumped Lucas in his bad shoulder and sauntered into the locker room.

'_Great, this is the perfect way to start the game.'_

Now he really had to show Nathan that he deserved his spot.

And that's exactly what he did. Late into the fourth quarter, Lucas was leading the Ravens and helping them hold on to their 62-59 advantage. He had even managed to outscore Nathan so far, and that was satisfaction enough. Plus, Dan looked like his head was about to explode because Nathan wasn't the best. Lucas was even pushing through the dull ache in his chest. _'All I need to do is make it five more minutes.'_

"Scott"

"What, Coach?" he replied, nervous that Whitey would realize how tired and worn out he looked.

"You've played a hell of a game son, why don't you sit out for the last bit"

That was so not what he wanted to hear. _"It's been my game all night Coach"_ He replied, pointedly smirking at Nathan and enjoying the evil look his little brother was giving him. "Let me finish it, _please_" His eyes begged Whitey to just let him make it through.

"Fine, everybody pass to Lucas… Take your shots carefully son." Whitey decided to leave him in against his better judgment. Something was off about Lucas tonight; he just hoped he wouldn't find out what it was until after the game.

Less than a minute left and Bear Creek had managed to take a slight lead over the Ravens, stealing the ball from the offense and driving it down the court. The Raven's needed to gain possession if they wanted a chance to claim the victory.

36…35…34…

In a sheer stroke of genius, Tim managed to steal the ball, passing it to Vegas, who dribbled down the court and passed it to Lucas.

12… 11…10…

Lucas looked around. '_Double teamed'_ with less than 10 seconds in the game, it was once again a make it or break it shot. _' I have to make it.'_ With one last look at the goal, Lucas faked back and let the shot fly through the air.

_Nothing but net._

But, the moment Lucas landed on the ground he knew something was off. He could barely see the ball go through the hoop. Everything was out of focus and all he could concentrate on was a loud ringing in his ears. The cheers from the crowd were muffled, and his vision was blurred. The tightening in his chest wasn't helping matters either. He grabbed in pain for his chest, something was seriously wrong. One last look at the goal and **_everything went black._**

* * *

Nathan was beyond pissed as the ball went through the hoop. Leave it to Lucas to be the hero. Speaking of big brother, Nathan didn't even want to face him. But as soon as he turned around, his gaze fell on Lucas and he noticed something wasn't right. Lucas looked extremely pale, and when Nathan saw him clutch his chest and fall to the ground… all spiteful thoughts towards Lucas immediately went out of his head, and instead were replaced with an indescribable fear. 

"**_Lucas…."_**

Nathan screamed as ran to his brother's side, failing to catch him before his head landed on the floor with a sickening thud. The noise itself made Nathan sick to his stomach, but the ghost-white color of Lucas's skin and the fact that he wasn't moving was far more terrifying. Lucas had something seriously wrong with him, and Nathan was all too afraid to find out exactly what that was. He couldn't even begin to imagine the worst case scenario, and truth was he didn't want to. Luke had to be alright. He just had to; because there was no way Nathan could bear to loose him. Not with the way things presently stood between the two of them.

He had barely managed to scream for Whitey and get someone to call an ambulance before Peyton was by his side, face etched in grief.

"What…what…happened" She stuttered as she began to check for a pulse.

"He just collapsed…Oh God…Peyton… what the hell is wrong."

"I don't know Nathan, damn it… he's not breathing."

"The ambulance will be here in two minutes" Whitey's gruff voice barked over the pandemonium of the crowd. God, he should have pulled that boy out of the game when he had a chance. Now, his star player, a boy he had come to love as his own was splayed out on the gym floor, and he had no idea what caused the collapse.

Nathan could barely think straight as he cradled Luke's head in his lap. "Come on bro…Lucas…Lucas…wake up…please," he cried, trying not to let the fear and emotion in his voice show through. Peyton was already sobbing hysterically, and someone needed to keep it together long enough to get Lucas to the hospital and find out what the hell was going on. He couldn't help but feel a sinking in the pit of his stomach. This was not just exhaustion or fatigue, whatever was wrong with Lucas was much more serious.

He scanned the crowd to see if the ambulance had made it to the gym yet, when all of a sudden his eyes locked with the steely blue gaze of Dan Scott. There was no hint of fear or concern in them. Nathan didn't even know if Dan could express human emotion, but what he did see in his father's eyes was knowledge. Dan looked like a man who knew what was going on. And that thought disturbed Nathan most of all.

The movement at the front of the gym interrupted Nathan's train of thought, and Nathan sent up a silent prayer of thanks that the ambulance had arrived.

The ambulance rushed over to Lucas and quickly checked his vitals. Neither Nathan nor Peyton made any movement from Lucas's side. As many harsh words that had been exchanged between the trio, none of that mattered right now. Right now, Lucas needed them and they sure as hell weren't going to let him down. All that mattered was their friend and brother, who was getting paler and paler by the second.

"How long has he been unconscious?' barked one of the EMTs, while trying to revive Lucas. Once he realized his attempts were in vain, he began to load him on the stretcher and prep him for transport to Tree Hill General.

"About 5 minutes" Nathan's shaky voice replied.

"We have to get him to the hospital ASAP, We'll run tests once we arrive." The EMTs continued shouting as they performed chest compressions and began wheeling Lucas out of the still packed gym.

Nathan and Peyton both eagerly followed, not wanting to let Lucas out of their sight for more than a second.

As the paramedics loaded Lucas into the ambulance, they stopped both Nathan and Peyton as they made the move to climb in.

"I'm sorry kids, family members only are allowed to come in the ambulance"

"I'm his brother" came Nathan's reply as he squeezed Peyton's hand for reassurance. "Peyton, call Karen. Go with Whitey. I'll meet you at the hospital." He yelled as he climbed in with the still unresponsive form of his brother.

All Peyton could do was tearfully nod and fall into Whitey's embrace as she watched the ambulance pull away with one of her best friends inside fighting for his life.

* * *

Peyton hated hospitals, she really did. Good news never seemed to come out of them, and if the Scott men didn't stop ending up here, she was sure they were going to rename a wing after them. 

She followed Whitey in search for Nathan, trying to figure out if he had found anything out on Lucas's condition.

She had called Karen and explained the situation as calmly as she possibly could, but the moment she had heard Karen's terrified gasp, she had lost it. The tears she had finally managed to hold in began multiplying, and her fear magnified.

She hoped Karen would get here soon. She was making a delivery out of town, and was speeding home at that very moment.

Peyton caught sight of Nathan across the room, and tearfully ran into his arms.

"Any word?"

"No… nothing. They are running tests on him now and they said they'd tell me when they found out anything…. What am I going to do if he's not okay Peyton? We're not even speaking right now."

The emotion and raw fear in his eyes made her heart break a little more. "Shhh. Lucas is a fighter, he will be okay. He has to be."

She didn't even want to fathom the possibility of him not being alright. That was just something she wouldn't even let her mind entertain. Lucas would be okay. It was not an option.

Peyton sat in the uncomfortable hospital chairs about 30 minutes later, still waiting for news on Lucas's condition, and Karen's arrival. Nathan sat in the chair next to her, head buried in his hands.

There were a lot of people who had shown up at the hospital to check on Lucas. Whitey, Tim, Skills, Fergie, the rest of the guys from the team, the cheerleaders, well most of the cheerleaders, were all sitting around the waiting room. Peyton's contempt for Rachel grew even more as she noticed the red head was conveniently absent from the waiting room scene. But, she had too much on her mind to deal with Miss Getina's disappearing act right now.

Her mind was more focused on two of Tree Hill's fugitives who were also missing from the hospital but that was expected since they were both still missing from Tree Hill in general. She really didn't want to call Brooke and tell her this bad news, and she didn't even know how to break it to her. It's not like she knew anything anyway, stupid doctors. Peyton was just going to wait and tell Brooke when she knew exactly what was going on.

"_Family of Lucas Scott."_ The doctor's voice broke Peyton from her thoughts, and she joined Nathan to find out exactly what was wrong with Lucas.

"I need to speak with a relative"

Nathan stepped up, "I'm his brother, but you can tell me anything you have to say in front of them, they need to know as well," he replied gesturing around the waiting room.

The doctors hesitantly nodded, not wanting to upset the large crowd that had assembled anymore than they already were. "It seems Mr. Scott suffered from a mild heart attack due to stress on his heart. He stopped breathing, and we nearly lost him _twice_."

Nathan winced at the news, confused as to why Lucas would have a heart attack if there was nothing wrong with him, but continued to listen to the doctor.

"We got him back, but he is in critical condition and has lapsed into a coma"

"Doc, I don't understand, what would cause Lucas to have a heart attack?' Nathan voiced for the group.

"It was a direct cause of his HCM. Lucas overexerted his heart, and the medicine simply stopped responding."

Nathan's face fell, as he struggled to grasp what the doctor was telling him. _'Lucas…HCM…. It was impossible. He had seen the negative results slider. Hadn't he?'_ Damn Lucas, he must have forged the letter. This was too much to handle.

He felt Peyton grab onto him for support, and he could feel the hot tears slide down his face. His brother was fighting for his life and there was nothing any of them could do about it. Lucas had the heart disease and had lied to them all. He didn't know which part hurt worse.

He abruptly pulled away from Peyton's grasp, and turned to run out of the emergency room. He couldn't be in there any longer and he couldn't help Peyton or anyone else deal with this news when he wasn't dealing with it well himself. Besides, there was something he knew that he needed to do, and it couldn't wait any longer. _No matter how much he was dreading it._

_---------_

Okay guys, I know you probably hate me right now, but I promise it will be worth it. The song title was by Dashboard Confessional, Several Ways to Die Trying. I hove you enjoyed it, now tell me what you think.


	7. Right Where I Need to Be

I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters.

I also wanted to say a huge thank you for all the people who reviewed to the story so far. You all really inspire me to keep writing, and I am so glad that you all like where I am going with this. Hopefully I will not disappoint. I also want to dedicate this chapter to Sam. She has been waiting for this impatiently, I might add, and this is for her. Thanks girl, I'm not sure if there would be a story without you, you're the best. Okay, enough of my rambling, on with the story.

**Chapter 7- Right Where I Need to Be**

"And so I ended up starting school at SCHS and I've got a pretty good life here now," answered Brooke as she sat with Haley on the deck of her family's house. The two girls had caught up a little the previous night, and were currently perched outside, sipping drinks, and having a much needed heart-to-heart.

Do you miss Tree Hill at all Brooke, or is your new life just that _fabulous_?" Teased Haley, a bit of sarcasm lacing her voice.

"You know, _Tutorgirl,_ I could ask you the same question… But seriously, yeah, I do miss Tree Hill, but I don't really know how to go back, or if I even want to. Everything in Tree Hill got so messy, it's easy to live here and only worry about what I'll wear to the next party." Brooke replied, a sad smile crossing her face.

"What if I just get hurt even more by going back?" She barely whispered as she looked up and saw the same question reflected in Haley's eyes as well. Truth was neither girl knew what the Scott brothers would do if they returned, and simply not knowing their reaction was far easier than seeing the hurt and rejection on the faces of the men they loved.

When Haley looked back at Brooke, all she could see was understanding in the other girl's eyes. Both girls had made mistakes, and neither knew exactly how to go about fixing them, but they both locked eyes and just knew what the other one felt. And it was comforting to know that someone else simply understood, without judgment or accusations.

So what about you Haley? I thought that you would have gone back by now."

"I did go back." Haley whispered. "_For a night._ Turns out that the night I returned, was the day before Nathan left for High Flyers. I apologized, but he said he couldn't trust me and we left things sort of unfinished. I came back on tour for the summer, and when he never responded to some letters I sent him over the summer, I just decided to stay."

"Do you still love him?"

"Of course I do Brooke, I never stopped, but it's just too hard right now. We're both different people than we were when we got married, and I don't want to know that we might not be destined to be together." Haley answered, a familiar wetness stinging the back of her eyes. But she wouldn't let the tears fall. She had made her decision, and now she had to stick to it.

"Enough about me. You told me how Lucas felt about you, but Brooke, you never told me exactly how you felt about him."

Brooke hesitated, wondering just how much she should tell Haley about her lingering feelings for Lucas. Figuring that if anyone would understand, it would be the gril sitting across from her, she decided to answer with the truth.

"_I love him. But, sometimes love just isn't enough."_

Haley, just nodded, she knew exactly what Brooke was talking about.

* * *

The girls had decided that they had enough serious talk for the day, and what they needed to mend their broken hearts was some retail therapy. The girls were immediately back to their old ways, and an outsider never would have been able to tell that the two friends had just recently reunited from a 4 month absence. And it felt good for both of them to just have someone that they could just have fun with.

"I love shoes! Thank God I have a huge closet," Brooke chuckled as she led Haley around the mall, practically weighing them both down with the amount of things Brooke just had to have.

"Brooke, I think you need a whole different room for all the things you have bought. I mean who really needs to buy five pairs of shoes in one day" Haley laughed, as she followed her friend into another boutique, watching as Brooke picked out yet another pair of shoes.

The ringing of Haley's cell phone momentarily distracted the girls from their shopping adventure, as Haley stopped to fish it out of her rather large purse. The moment she saw the name on the display screen, her face went pale. _'Why would they be calling her now, it had been months.'_

"Haley…. Haley….are you going to answer that?" Brooke chided, but realized that there was something wrong as she looked at Haley who had turned white, and was clutching the phone so hard, that Brooke thought she would smash it.

Haley just looked at Brooke and showed her the phone screen.

_Nathan_

"Well, are you going to talk to him?" Brooke asked, pretty much already knowing the answer.

"I can't"

Surprisingly, Brooke didn't push, and Haley was thankful that her usually meddlesome friend had seemed to take a more mellow approach. But, as soon as the phone chirped with the new message signal, Brooke snatched it out of Haley's hand and proceeded to check Haley's new message before Haley even realized what had happened.

Just because Haley didn't want to talk to Nathan, it didn't mean Brooke didn't want to hear what he had to say. Even though she couldn't face her own life, it was easy to meddle in Haley's.

"Brooke!" Haley shouted, not at all surprised by the brunette's actions.

"Tutorgirl, if you didn't want me to listen, you should have changed your security code. I mean your wedding date, how predictable," she smiled triumphantly as she punched in the code, and began to listen to exactly what Nathan had to say.

A million thoughts raced through Haley's head as she watched Brooke listen to the message. Secretly she was glad that Brooke grabbed the phone. Haley didn't know if she could actually bring herself to listen to it. At least this way she could judge Brooke's reaction before she found out why Nathan would all of a sudden be calling her after months of silence. But judging by the look on Brooke's face, the message wasn't good. _Not good at all._

By the time Brooke hung up the phone, she had a steady stream of tears running down her face, and she was shaking. Haley didn't even want to know what was in that message, because whatever it was appeared to be something big.

"It…it's…its Lucas" she sobbed, barely able to get any sound out of her mouth. "He…he collapsed at a basketball game….he…has….HCM." She choked, and Haley's arms were around her in a matter of seconds.

"He's in a coma, and they're not really sure when he's going to wake up. He had… a... a heart attack." She cried, not caring at all that they were standing in the middle of a crowded boutique.

Haley was sobbing now too, scared for the best friend she had left, wondering why he kept such a secret from everyone, and wondering what they were going to do now. She couldn't loose him, not like this, and judging from the shocked brunette's reaction, neither could Brooke.

"Damn it, Peyton" Brooke screamed as she one again unsuccessfully tried to reach her curly-headed best friend on her cell phone. Chucking the phone across the room, she put her head in her hands and once again was assaulted by tears that she had only been able to keep at bay for a few minutes. She had to find out something about Lucas. It had been two hours since the dreaded phone call, and she and Haley hadn't been able to reach anyone since. It was driving her crazy. She felt like her heart was going to thump right out of her chest, and her mind was a mass of jumble and confusion. There was only one coherent thought that made it through the jumble and that was **_'Go home.'_**

Making her way down the stairs to find Haley, she made her decision. All the fear she had about going back was ebbed by the fact that Lucas was clinging to life, and finally everything made sense. Tree Hill was her home, and she couldn't run away forever. She was going back, because all the things that she was afraid of didn't seem as important when she was faced with the possibility of losing him. Luke's accident had been the catalyst that she needed to get over her fear of seeing him, and the only thing she feared more than seeing him, was not getting the chance to. She couldn't even start to imagine what would happen if he didn't wake up. And if he didn't, it would be more than just his heart that would be damaged. _Hers would be too._

She walked into the room preparing to tell Haley what she had decided and try and persuade her to come back too, when she heard her friend on the phone. Careful not to disturb Haley, she leaned on the door and listened intently to what her friend was saying.

"_Yes, I do think this is the right decision for me."_

"_No. I'm not going to regret this. There is a family matter that I need to take care of, and I know where I need to be…. I have the rest of my life to be successful, but right now I'm needed back at home, and that's not something I can turn my back on_."

Brooke, smiled, it looked like she wasn't the only one who had finally figured out where they needed to be. It just sucked that it took something so drastic to get them both to go home.

"_Thank you, and yes, this is more important than being a singer. I have to be there for those that I love."_

"Brooke, how long have you been standing there?" Haley asked as she whirled around and practically trampled over her friend.

"Long enough to know that you made the right decision. It looks like I'm not the only one on the first plane back to North Carolina."

"Yeah" she sighed. "I just wish we weren't going back under these circumstances. I…I just want him to be okay." And with that, both girls broke down again, and sobbed in each other's arms. They both had so much regret, and so many things they wished they didn't have to face back in Tree Hill, but they knew they needed to go home. They had both been avoiding it long enough and both were terrified for the boy who had a very different but equally special place in their hearts.

The only thing that gave them the courage to face the past, and face the tough times ahead was the fact that they were doing it together. And that was all the push that they needed to finally return to Tree Hill.

* * *

Six hours on a plane with nothing to do, and Brooke was already starting to drive herself crazy. Haley had been asleep for the better part of the plane ride, and left her with nothing else to do than think about exactly what she was going back to. Lucas was in a coma, she wasn't sure about her relationship with Peyton, and her parents didn't know that she had hopped a plane and headed cross country. These things kept replaying over and over in her mind, bombarding her thoughts with memories and questions. She was certainly turning out to be more of a Broody than a Cheery over the last few hours.

_Broody, her Lucas._

She couldn't even imagine how horrible this was for him, and she hoped above anything else that he would just be okay. It seemed that all of her thoughts once again centered on Lucas Scott, but this time she wasn't trying to forget about him. Now, in fact, the only thing she wanted to do was hold him in her arms and never let go. It was kind of ironic that all of the memories she had so desperately tried to avoid over the past few months were the only thing that was giving her comfort as she desperately tried to make it back to the boy whom she had left behind.

Second only to his health being in jeopardy, the thing that scared her most in the world was the fact that he could hate her. _'What if he hated her?' _She had finally faced her fears, but what if she had missed her chance. No, she and Lucas were meant for each other, it wouldn't hurt this much if they weren't.

It had taken her months, and the only other soul she had told was Haley, but there was no more denying that she was head over heals, madly in love with Lucas. And this time, she was going to push past her fears and fight for the man she loved_. Maybe this time love would be enough_. Going back to Tree Hill was the first step, and it saddened her that it took something as serious as this too make her realize that she couldn't live without her heart anymore. She had to go back to Lucas plain and simple because he had her heart. **_He was her heart._**

She could admit they had both made their fair share of mistakes, her biggest one being the fact that she ran away from him, but she was afraid to let herself fall for him again. But now she was ready to correct those mistakes, and she could admit now that she had fallen already, hard. Right now, the only thing she could focus on was making sure that he was going to be okay, and then she would be there for him whatever he needed. He had been her rock for the better part of last year, now it was her turn to be his.

* * *

They were finally here, ready to face Tree Hill, ready to face what they left behind, and ready to find out how Lucas was doing. Brooke and Haley just looked at each other, the fear and uncertainty reflected in both of their eyes. This was something they both needed to do, but it was the one thing they dreaded most. Squeezing her hand reassuringly, Brooke led Haley into Tree Hill General Hospital.

"_Its, now or never_" Brooke said, as the girls walked arm in arm to face their past.

The girls got to the waiting room, and found it surprisingly quiet; just a few people camped out in chairs waiting for news of their loved ones. They didn't see either Nathan or Peyton, and figured the two must have gone home. After all it was six in the morning. But sitting alone in a chair, the two girls found the one person that they knew would never leave until she knew that Lucas was going to be okay.

"Karen" Brooke whispered, hoping the woman who had become her mother over the past year wouldn't turn around and laugh in her face.

"**_Brooke?"_** Karen replied, looking up to see the girl that had some to mean so much to both her and her son. She knew if anyone could make this situation a little more bearable it would be the young brunette in front of her. But Karen gasped when she recognized the girl standing right next to Brooke. Haley James was back in Tree Hill, and that was shocking to say the least.

"My girls" she cried, pulling them both into a tight hug. "Thank God, you're back. We missed you so much, and it's so good to have you home," she said, wiping a couple tears from both of the girls' faces. She had wondered if either girl had found out about Lucas's condition, and secretly hoped that they would come back, but she never expected both Brooke Davis and Haley James-Scott to show up arm in arm. She was glad to have them home though, they were probably the only two people in the world that could genuinely make Lucas feel better. And that was all the hope she needed.

Nathan and Peyton walked back into the waiting room, feeling a little better about today. They had gone to the cafeteria to get some coffee, and stretch their legs, hoping that there would be some change in Lucas's condition. Nathan hadn't told Peyton that he had called Haley, but he wondered if anyone had called Brooke. Even though they had both run away, Nathan hoped that they would at least care that their friend was in the hospital. Even though Nathan wasn't quite sure why Haley hadn't answered or even called back. He guessed she was probably too busy being a _rock star_ to care about her old life.

They saw a commotion in the corner of the waiting room as they approached with coffee for Karen. They quickly realized that she was hugging some people, and wondered who else had come to check on Lucas. Peyton immediately recognized the familiar brown hair of her best friend, and then recognized the girl beside her. Brooke Davis was back, and somehow she had brought Haley James home with her.

"Brooke, Haley" Peyton cried, as she rushed to greet her best friends. Right now it didn't matter that they left, or that they hadn't called. All that mattered right now to Peyton was that they were here_. They had come home when they were needed most_. She was just confused as to how they came home together, but that could be figured out later. All she knew was that she was no longer alone, and now, neither was Lucas. Tree Hill's heart and soul had returned, and Peyton finally had hope that it would all be okay.

She knew that there were a lot of things that had to be worked out between the three of them and everyone else, but they had made the first step, and that counted for a lot. She knew that everything was not back to normal. Hell, she didn't even know if either one planned on staying, but she knew they were here, and she was going to try her hardest to make sure that they both stayed in Tree Hill, right where they belonged.

"I missed you P. Sawyer," Brooke whispered into her hair as the three girls continued to embrace in the emergency room. And in that moment, Peyton knew that somehow it would all be okay.

Nathan, however, could not seem to move from his spot at the waiting room entrance. _She was back._ He didn't even know how the hell he felt about that. He was just pissed a few seconds earlier because she didn't call, but now he was pissed that she was here. Well, that wasn't completely true. Part of him missed her like hell, but the stubborn part, was pissed that she had just showed up. Their eyes locked across the room, and Nathan just ignored the look of regret and love that mingled together in her eyes. He couldn't deal with this now.

But, just looking at her, he couldn't deny that he still loved her, but she had turned her back on their marriage, and that was so hard to get over. He was also hurt. Yeah, she was back, but it wasn't because of him. She was back for his brother, and he couldn't help but feel jealous that she had come back for Lucas. He knew that was horrible, but he couldn't help it. His wife was back, but it wasn't to fight for him or their marriage, instead it was to help his brother in his time of need. And it just hurt Nathan that he wasn't reason enough for her return.

With one last look at her, he just walked right out of the waiting room. He just walked away. He figured that she had done it, and maybe she would recognize the gesture.

* * *

The title of this chapter was Gary Allan's '_Right Where I Need to Be'_

I am going out of town for the next couple of days, so it might be almost a week before another update. But don't worry, a six hour plane ride by myself across country will give me plenty of opportunity to write. So expect a really long chapter next time.

Have a great holiday everyone.


	8. When You Come Back to me Again

Hey guys, I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. As promised I am back with an update, and it's a long one, so hold on, I think your going to like this one. And remember if you do like it, let me know, you guys really inspire me and encourage me to update faster with your kind words.

As always I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters.

**Chapter 8- When You Come Back to Me Again**

_On a prayer, in a song  
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on  
Raining down, against the wind  
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end  
When you come back to me again  
_

Brooke sat in the waiting room of Tree Hill General about to make a phone call that could possibly change her life yet again. Deciding not to prolong it any longer, she picked up her cell phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Mom, hey its Brooke, how is France?" she asked, not really caring what her parents were doing this week. They made her move to California and practically left her there, thinking that a maid would make up for their absence.

"Wonderful, honey how is everything at home? Is everything alright? You sound funny."

"Ummm….actually Mom, I'm not in California"

"Brooke" Her mother scolded, "Where in earth have you run off to? You should be at home."

"I am Mom. I'm in Tree Hill. That is my home," Brooke defiantly answered. She didn't belong in California, it wasn't home. Hell, she had been gone two days and they never would have noticed if she didn't call to tell them.

"Something happened to Lucas…he…he's sick," her voice almost broke as the words came out of her mouth. It had been almost 48 hours and there had been no change in Lucas's condition. They were all still waiting to see if he woke up to survey the damage on his heart.

"Brooke, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but you can't stay in Tree Hill much longer, you have school. You have to go back to California."

"That's the thing mom; I don't want to go back. This is where I belong. I never should have agreed to stay in California in the first place. I should have gone back after the summer."

"Brooke, do you honestly expect me to just let you move across country on a whim. Where would you even stay?"

"Mom, this isn't on a whim, I've thought about this and my whole life is here. You and Dad are only at the house a week out of the month tops, and I have nobody there. Here I have Peyton, Lucas, Haley, and Karen. She even agreed to co-sign a lease for Haley and me and watch out for us if you would let me stay here. Please, ya'll are never home, and I need to be in Tree Hill."

Her mother hesitated and then let out a sigh. "Brooke, are you sure this is what you want. You're not just doing this for some boy, right?"

"No Mom, he's not the only reason, everything that means anything to me is here and I'm not going to leave it again. I just can't."

"Alright Brooke, but don't make me regret this. I'll talk to Karen once everything calms down, and you can stay in Tree Hill. I'll have your father reenroll you in school tomorrow. But I mean it Brooke; you better behave yourself, and do not make us have to come back there."

Brooke almost keeled over from excitement. She was getting to stay. Tree Hill was once again her home. "Thank You so much, I promise I will behave. It will all be fine, Karen will watch out for me. Thanks again Mom."

It was done, she was getting to stay. She was so happy, but her happiness was overshadowed by the fact that the one person she wanted to tell of her return the most was still unconscious in the damn hospital. If only he would wake up, then she would finally be able to breathe again.

* * *

Haley stood outside the door of the hospital room that was currently occupied by her best friend, desperately trying to find the courage to just go in. She was terrified, she didn't know if she could see him like this, especially since she had been such a horrible friend to him for the past six months or so. She hadn't seen him since the day she told him that she wasn't coming home; it had been too hard on her to talk to him so she just quit talking to him all together. She realized that was stupid now, considering she would do anything to have him tell her one of his ridiculous quotes, or have him chase her with milk balloons. He really meant the world to her and she had let him down. A small part of her couldn't help but think that if she hadn't left, that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe if she hadn't abandoned him and everyone else that meant something to her, he wouldn't be here fighting for his life.

She was broken from her thoughts by the opening of the door, and was immediately face to face with Karen, who just smiled sadly at her.

"Haley honey, what are you doing out here, you're wearing a hole in the tile," she said as she slipped her arm around Haley, stilling her from her constant pacing.

"I don't know if I can do this Karen… what if he doesn't want me in there. I mean I've been a horrible friend, what if he hates me…. I…"

"Haley," Karen sighed as she pulled the young girl into her arms. "He couldn't hate you, he loves you too much, now go ahead, it will be good for both of you if you just talked to him. The doctors said that it would help. Plus, remember what I said before, best friends can forgive each other anything."

She gave Haley one last squeeze and gently nudged her towards the door.

Haley sighed, it was now or never. She had let him down before, and now she vowed to make it up to him in any way possible.

"Hey Buddy" she whispered as she gingerly climbed onto the bed with him and grasped his still hand. It was so cold, and that scared her. Lucas was always filled with so much warmth. He always looked so strong, and now he just looked so pale and fragile, that it hurt her heart to see him like that.

"So I guess you got your wish, I'm back," she choked out. "I…I'm so sorry Lucas, I've been such a horrible person, I've been such a horrible friend. I wish you would have told me there was something wrong. I wish you wouldn't have held it all in, I just wish you would have let me be there for you. But, who am I kidding, I probably would have just told you I would call you back." She was in tears by this point, but at least she was here. She was telling him everything she needed to.

"God, Luke, I've really messed up. I never should have left. I left everyone that was important to me, and for what? To be a singer, _please_, I needed to be a wife and a friend before I tried to be a star."

She half expected him to open his eyes and agree with her. To tell her that she was right, that she should have stayed put and not run off, but he just laid there, the steady beeping of the heart monitor keeping in sync with Haley's tears.

"I'm sure you hate me now. You have every right to. Everyone else probably does too. Nathan won't even look at me; he just turned and walked away. And the truth was, I deserved it. I walked out on him, so why shouldn't he walk away from me. I still love him Luke, I never stopped. I just never imagined it would be this hard. I used Chris as an excuse, because I was scared, and I ran away because it was the easy way out. I realize this now, probably a little too late, but I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to all of you. I'm not running anymore. I promise you that. I'm going to fight to earn back your friendship and I'm going to fight to earn back Nathan's trust."

She stopped her rambling as the tears just overtook her body. She was finally letting it all out. Luke was there for her even now, and his accident was the catalyst she needed to get her life in order. She had said everything she needed to, and now she just had to hope that he could hear her, and that he would come back to her soon, because she planned on keeping her promise. Haley James-Scott was back, and she was going to do anything she could to make it up to those she had left behind.

She just looked at him once her tears had subsided, and squeezed his hand. He would come back to them all, she knew it, now all they had to do was wait.

* * *

Nathan walked back into the hospital hoping that he could just slip in unnoticed. He had to see Lucas, but he didn't want to deal with anyone else who would be in the waiting room, especially _her._

He couldn't think about that right now though, he would just drive himself crazy with thoughts of Haley. Now, he had to apologize to Lucas, and hope that somehow his brother would open his eyes again, and like last time, that he would be the one there when it happened.

He walked to the door and went in, surprised that Karen wasn't camped out inside the room, but thankful that he would at least have a chance to say what he needed to Lucas.

"Hey man, it's me, Nate… I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I need to tell you some things."

Nathan walked fully into the room, and pulled up a chair next to Lucas. He needed to tell Lucas that he was sorry, and now was his chance. He just hoped he could get out everything he needed to say.

"First off, I'm sorry. I've been a complete jackhole to you, and you didn't deserve most of it. I just couldn't handle another person lying to me. I just feel bad that I held a grudge for this long. I just feel bad that I pushed you so hard….I… I'm just sorry man, for everything."

And that was it. Nathan couldn't bring himself to say anymore. To say he was sorry for taking his frustrations out on Lucas, to say he was jealous that Lucas had told Haley goodbye, when he couldn't bear to face her. To tell him he was sorry for disowning him over Dan. But that was the thing about brothers. Nathan hoped that Lucas would get it all in one word, and he knew that his brother would understand him like so few others could.

So he just sat there in silence, watching Lucas lie there, and hoped that maybe he would open his eyes and make a smart ass remark, or just tell Nathan that it was okay, and that they could be brothers and friends again.

"So Luke, man, wake up, we all need you here. I need you to tell me that we are okay, that we can be brothers again, and more importantly that we can be friends again. I need you man, I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out."

Nathan didn't know how long he sat there just watching the monitor, and hoping that Lucas would wake up, but he knew that he needed Lucas as much as Lucas was going to need him. He just hoped that his brother was a better person than he was, and could forgive him for all the things he had done.

* * *

"So are you going to go in and see him, or are you going to drill a hole in the door with your eyes" Peyton asked as she nudged the brunette who had all of her attention focused on the door where Lucas was.

"I'm going to drill a hole in the door with my mind," Brooke sarcastically replied.

"Peyt, I'm scared, I hate hospitals, and I just can't bear to see him like this again. It just brings back so many bad memories of last time."

Peyton winced as she heard those words come out of Brooke's mouth. She still regretted that point in her life, and she knew now that she had to get Brooke to face her fears and walk into that room.

"Brooke, this isn't like last time, this time its way more screwed up." Peyton attempted a little humor, but immediately regretted it when she saw the crestfallen look on Brooke's face.

"Seriously Brooke, go and see him, you're going to drive yourself crazy if you don't. It would do him good to hear your voice. He missed you Brooke, we could all tell."

That was all she needed to hear in order to gain the little bit of strength it would take to make it into that room. She didn't say anything, just gave Peyton's hand a squeeze, and hesitantly got up from her seat. She was going to do it; finally she had the courage to tell Lucas how much she really needed him to open his eyes.

"Hey Broody," Brooke whispered as she gingerly entered the hospital room. She had thought it would be so hard to see him, and that she would feel so much worse when she did, but she was surprised to feel comfort. She was here, in his presence, and just seeing him, knowing he was close, was enough to calm her frazzled nerves.

"So, I'm back, and I just want to let you know that I came back for you. I'm here for you, whatever you need, but mostly I just want you to be okay. You're too important to me for you not to be alright. So you have to get better Broody, you just have to, because I… I don't know what I would do without you." And then she burst into sobs.

She cried for the boy in front of her, she cried for herself, and she cried for all the messed up situations her and her friends had managed to find themselves in lately. Once she had shed her tears, she noticed that she had linked their hands together, and that like always, they were a perfect fit, and somehow, that thought comforted her more than anything else.

"Luke, I messed up, I never should have run away, but I was scared and hurt and I was afraid to let you in again. It wasn't that I didn't care, in fact it was the opposite. You meant too much to me and I freaked out. I should have called I should have told you that I felt the same way."

"I love you Lucas Scott. I just wish you were awake to hear it."

She waited, hoping that maybe her confession would make him wake up, and that maybe somewhere in his land of dreams, he would hear her voice and he would come back. He would come back to her. But all of her hopes were dashed as he continued to lie there in the bed not opening those blue eyes that pierced right into her soul.

* * *

Lucas found himself sitting in a theatre alone. No one around, nothing making a single sound. He looked up at the screen as images began to flicker on and off. At first the images were blurry, but soon he could make them out. As he watched them closely he could tell that they were images from his life.

As the first one flickered on he could make out his mom and his Uncle Keith. They were standing at the Rivercourt, teaching a young Lucas how to play basketball for the first time. He remembered that day, it was the day he fell in love with the game of basketball, and the first time he really felt like he was good at something.

The image was slowly erased, and a new one began to appear. This time it was of a slightly older Lucas and a little brunette girl with almond eyes and wavy hair. The little boy walked over and helped the little girl pick up her books that some bully had knocked from her hands.

He watched as the little girl smiled at the younger version of himself, stuck out her hand and said, _"Hi, I'm Haley James. You're going to be my new best friend and we are always going to do everything together, okay."_ And from that day on they had. Haley and Lucas's friendship had been strong from the moment they met, and from that moment on it was them against the world.

Like the last one, this image slowly began to fade to be replaced with yet another old memory. This time Lucas was ten and he had just won his first basketball game for his little league team. He looked over at the opposing team, and saw a dark haired boy about his age being pulled by an older man. A man that seemed oddly familiar to Lucas_. "Damn Nathan, you should have won that game, you should have been the best. I will not have some bastard outperform you."_ That memory still made Lucas shutter. It was the first time he had realized that Nathan was his half brother and Dan was the father whom had abandoned him and his mom.

The next scene on the screen was much later. It was the infamous basketball game between him and Nathan. He watched the scene play out on the screen, and he saw the ball fly thought the air and into the hoop. That was the moment where everything had changed. In that moment he had become a Raven, been thrust into his brother's world and ultimately had his turned upside down.

More images flashed onto the screen, the fight with Nathan in school, the time he found Brooke half naked in his car, scenes with Haley on the roof of his mom's café, the whole mess with Brooke and Peyton, every moment that had an impact on his life was flashing before his eyes.

One last scene flashed on the screen. It was of him and Brooke, walking along the street drinking hot chocolate. It was right before he had gotten caught with Peyton, before he had messed up everything, before his first accident. He was worrying about his mom and Keith and she had looked at him and flashed her million dollar smile, and told him something that he had believed in ever since. _"People that are meant to be together always find their way in the end."_

And with that the screen went blank and he was left in complete darkness. Suddenly he heard voices, faint voices and they sounded like they were talking to him.

He could make out Haley's voice, and then Nathan's, even his mom's voice singing 'You are my Sunshine,' then he heard _her_ and that changed everything.

'_I love you Lucas Scott. I just wish you were awake to hear it.'_

That was all he needed to hear. The lights in the theatre flickered on, but it wasn't a theatre anymore. He couldn't quite make out where he was, and then everything seemed to finally come in focus.

* * *

Lucas blinked a couple of times before he realized where he was. In an instant, it all came rushing back to him. _Basketball game, winning shot, collapse, hospital. _It took a moment to register. Moments before he could have sworn he heard voices, but the seemingly empty hospital room seemed to reveal the contrary. Maybe he was just imagining things. He really had no idea how long he had been out for, and he wasn't completely sure what was going on.

He could have sworn he had heard Haley and Brooke talking to him, but he guessed that it was just his subconscious trying to play ticks on him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a slight movement, and finally he saw something he had only dreamt about for months. There she was, wrapped in a thin blanket, hair a mess, no make-up, looking like she had been up for days; she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Brooke Davis actually had come back.

'_So maybe what you heard in your dream was real, maybe she does care about you_,' the little voice in his head repeated. And for the first time in a while he had hope, maybe everything was going to be okay after all.

Another slight movement broke him out of his thoughts and he was met with the most gorgeous pair brown eyes he had ever seen.

She let out a small gasp, and in a moment she was by his side, clinging to him for dear life, tears streaming down her face. He was awake; he had really come back to her, and judging by the look on his face, he was just as happy to see her as she was so see him.

"Broody, I missed you so much. Thank God you are awake." She cried as she wrapped her arms gently around him.

He pulled her small frame even tighter as he took in her scent and was just happy to have her in his arms again. He couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face as he realized that she had indeed come back for him.

"_I missed you too, pretty girl."_

They didn't know how long they stayed in that position, just hugging each other; content to know that they had each come back to the other, that they had found their way.

And for a moment it was perfect.

_There's a moment we all come to  
In our own time and our own space  
Where all that we've done, we can undo  
If our heart's in the right place _

On a prayer, in a song  
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on  
Raining down, against the wind  
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end  
When you come back to me again


	9. A Real Fine Place to Start

You guys are really overwhelming me with the reviews. I appreciate every single one of them so much. Now, as always I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters. And on with the story. Oh, and the title of this chapter is from Sarah Evans. Sorry guys, this chapter accidentally got messed up, so I reposted it.

**Chapter 9- A Real Fine Place to Start**

Neither Brooke nor Lucas said anything as they continued to embrace, just grateful to be in each other's arms again. _To feel safe, even if it was only for a moment._ They both knew that there were issues they needed to deal with, but they could save that for later. Right now, they were content to be just Brooke and Lucas, to be reunited, even in these circumstances. All the messy details and the harsh realities could wait. They had all the time in the world to figure the rest of it out, but for now they would just be.

They were once again Cheery and Broody, and in this moment that was good enough for them.

Lucas broke the embrace as he felt her tears saturate his thin hospital gown. He didn't quite understand fully what had happened to him yet, but judging by the worry etched in her beautiful features, it couldn't be good.

"Lucas, I was so scared that I was going to lose you… You had us all so worried." She sobbed as she adjusted her position and lay next to him on the bed, entwining their fingers together. She was scared to let go, afraid that if she did, he would once again be asleep and not looking at her with those baby blue eyes that bore straight into her soul.

"You're not going to get rid of me quite yet," he laughed slightly, painfully aware that his current predicament was not humorous in the least.

"Its not funny Lucas, the doctor said you had HCM, how could you keep that from everyone?" She implored, hoping he would open up to her.

He sighed and looked away, not really wanting to discuss that quite yet, so instead of telling her he was scared to death, he tried to put up his defenses.

"I just did, its not like any of you were exactly close to me these last few months. Who was I going to tell, the brother that hates me, or my friends who left and never came back." He spat, but immediately softened when he saw the pained expression on her face. Now was not the time to discuss this or lash out. He was too glad to have her back, and right now he wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize that.

"I'm sorry, it was just hard," he whispered, hoping she would just drop it for now.

She saw the pain in his eyes and decided that now was not the time to get into all that. She could tell her leaving was a sore spot for him, and she was grateful he was letting her hold him and not throwing her out. She also knew that she had to tell the rest of the world that he had woken up, but right now she just wanted to keep him to herself for at least a little while longer.

She responded by squeezing his hand in acceptance and cuddling closer to him. It just felt too right for her to be close to him that she couldn't lose that sense of security just yet.

"I'm just glad you're awake," she whispered as she looked into his eyes. Staring back at her were the same blue orbs she had dreamt of every night, and to her surprise, they were still filled with the same look of love and desire as they had been before she left. She quickly wondered if he had heard her admission of love a few hours ago, but was too captivated by him to care.

He leaned closer toward her, daring himself to find out just what he meant to her. He knew it was too soon, and that they had so many issues to deal with, but he had missed her for four months, and he wasn't going to let another moment go by without tasting her lips again.

He just hoped she wouldn't run away. But judging by the way she leaned into him and met him halfway, he knew she was going to stick it out with him this time. They might not be perfect, and they had both hurt the other, but right now both of them needed each other more than they needed the air around them.

He brought the hand that did not have tubes running into it to her face, and gently cupped her check as their lips gently touched for the first time in months. The kiss was soft and tender, unlike any of their other kisses. This kiss held longing, desire, and love, and both could tell the difference the moment the sparks traveled throughout each of their bodies. It didn't last long, but it held all the meaning in the world for the two people who had been missing each other for far too long.

In that kiss, they both conveyed without words how much they meant to each other, how much they loved each other, even though they still weren't quite ready to admit it yet.

As they pulled away, they just relaxed into the other one, hands still entwined. No other words were spoken, they didn't have to be. _That kiss had said it all._

Lucas, still tired from the effects of his coma, began to breathe evenly against Brooke's ear as she realized that he had fallen asleep. She took this opportunity to detangle herself gently from his grasp. She smiled once again at his sleeping form as she walked to the door of his room. As much as she hated to do so, it was time to let the rest of Tree Hill, and most importantly Karen, know that Lucas had finally woken up.

Brooke walked back into the waiting room, attempting to find the rest of the group that had gathered to wait for the latest news on Lucas. She silently wondered how long she had been in his room, because she did not see any of the people anxiously waiting for Lucas to wake up. She definitely thought Karen would still be around. She was surprised that she hadn't come back in yet.

Just as she rounded the corner trying to figure out how to find everyone, she saw Karen walk in coffee in hand.

Karen just looked at Brooke, she had been in Lucas's room for over six hours and Karen practically had to drone out every parental instinct she had and resist the urge to burst in and stay with her baby boy. But she knew that some way Brooke would be able to reach through the dark abyss Lucas had sunk into, and she knew that the brunette keeping her son company would somehow help bring him back.

Brooke practically ran up to Karen, grinning from ear to ear, and Karen hoped that she had been right, and Brooke's reappearance meant that her son had finally woken up from him slumber.

"Karen, he's awake…he came back to us," Brooke chirped as she flung her arms around the woman who had become a second mom to her.

Karen hugged her back, just grateful that the younger brunette was here. Despite all her rambling and inappropriate comments, Brooke always seemed to make difficult situations such as these just a little bit easier, and now that her son was awake, she figured that Miss Davis would be even more critical to his recovery.

"I'm so glad honey. Could you go tell Haley and Peyton that he woke up? They went back to Peyton's and made me promise we would find them as soon as something changed. Now, I'm going to see my son," Karen cried, just happy that Lucas had woken up.

"Sure thing Karen."

And with that Brooke bounded out of the emergency room in search of her best friends, and Karen finally had the opportunity to see Lucas. She was still hurt and mad that he had lied about his HCM, but for right now she just wanted to see him with her own two eyes.

As she walked into the hospital room, she couldn't help but stare again at her son, and this time she was met with his blue eyes, opening and looking at her intently.

"Don't you ever scare me again like that Lucas, you had me terrified," she cried as the tears streamed down her face. They were tears of joy because he was awake, but they were mixed with tears of sadness, still worried what the HCM would do to his health. She wrapped her arms around him and cried, just holding him, and silently wishing she could still protect him from the world.

"I'm so sorry mom," he whispered, about to break down because of the emotion he could see in his mother's eyes. He didn't want to tell her about the HCM because he didn't want her to worry, but looking into her eyes he realized that he had caused her to do just that, and he had hurt her with his lies.

"Lucas, I can't believe you didn't tell me you had a heart condition. How could you keep something like that from me?"

"I just didn't want you to worry, which I know was stupid now, but I just couldn't do that to you, you already had enough to deal with."

"Lucas that's not an excuse, but I will always worry about you no matter what. You are my boy, and I love you more than anything else in this world. But, this has got to stop, no more lies, we'll figure this HCM thing out, together."

"I love you mom…I'm…so sorry," he choked out. He expected her to be mad, but she was so understanding, that it killed him even more to know that he had kept this from her for so long.

"I love you too, and we'll deal with all of this later, just get some rest for right now, and I will tell the doctor that you've woken up," she patted his arm, and watched as he shut his eyes, and drifted into a light peaceful sleep. Now it was time to find the doctor, and figure out what Lucas's condition was and a long term plan for his HCM.

Brooke could hardly contain her excitement as she bounced into the Sawyer residence trying to find Peyton and Haley. As she flew up the stairs she contemplated whether or not to tell them that she and Lucas had kissed. Deciding to keep that wonderful fact to herself for a little while longer, she flung open the door to tell them the news she had originally come to tell them.

"_Tutorgirl, P. Sawyer, get up. Lucas is awake."_

The two who were previously sleeping, were abruptly woken up by the brunette bouncing on the bed. Normally they would have been annoyed at her outbursts, but this was what they had all been waiting for.

Peyton smiled, and Haley immediately burst into tears. Apparently she wasn't handling this thing as well as Peyton and Brooke had thought.

"Haley," Brooke gingerly called out, wrapping her arms around the sobbing girl. "It's okay now." But, as soon as Brooke looked into Haley's eyes, she too began crying, just thinking about what could have happened if Lucas hadn't woken up..

"I know… I'm mainly crying because I'm happy, but where do we go from here?" she choked out, and the three friends just sat in a circle wondering the same thing.

For each one it was different.

Haley was wondering if she and Lucas could get back to where they once had been. If he was still even her buddy. She was also wondering what her reappearance in Tree Hill would mean to her estranged husband as well. She had finally admitted that she still loved him with all of her heart, and she was going to fight for what they had. She just hoped she wasn't fighting a losing battle. And then lastly, she wondered about her relationship with the two girls currently hugging her. The trio was back together, but it seemed that none of them were the same people anymore. All she knew was she wasn't Haley James_ rockstar_ anymore. She was back to being Haley James Scott and she was going to desperately try and restore the relationships she had taken for granted when she had turned her back and ran away from that.

Brooke's thoughts were also focused around the Scotts. One in particular, but that was nothing new. That kiss had turned her world upside down, and she couldn't believe that she had actually admitted to Lucas that she loved him, it didn't matter that he had been asleep. All she knew was she wasn't going anywhere this time, and she was going to prove it. She had mistakes to make up for, but she had faith that it would all work out this time around. _Wouldn't it?_

Peyton Sawyer's thoughts swirled in a slightly different direction than her two sobbing friends. Above all, she was glad that they had finally gotten some sense and come back, but the other part of her was resentful for what they had left her to deal with. For once, Peyton had been the emotionally stable one. She had seen firsthand what Brooke and Haley had done to her two favorite basketball players. She had seen them both revert into themselves and become brokenhearted and bitter shells of who they had been. Nathan had immersed himself in alcohol and basketball and Lucas had entertained himself with a certain red-headed tramp. She just hoped that Brooke and Haley's return would change that. They were all in for a lot more drama, and hoped that somehow it would all work out for her friends. She knew that she and the girls would get through their issues; she just hoped it would be the same for the brother's Scott.

"So, I hate to ask this now, but how long to you two plan on staying in Tree Hill," she questioned.

Brooke and Haley both looked at each other, and knew it was time to let Peyton in on a little secret.

Brooke smiled and looked at her curly headed friend, "We're back for good P.Sawyer. You're stuck with us forever."

And Peyton finally let out a sigh of relief. _Maybe there was some hope for their crazy group yet._

Nathan stood basketball in hand, trying to work out his confusion and frustration the only way he knew how -_on a court with a ball_. Lately that was the only part of his life that still made sense.

He had tried to clear his head and gather his thoughts at the River Court, but instead that place brought back too many memories to bring him any type of real comfort. It just seemed that everything was so amazingly screwed up and he had no idea which relationships to try and fix first.

He had made a giant step in talking to Lucas when he had been asleep, and decided that it would be easiest to work things out with his brother first. Now if he could only say the same things when Lucas was awake. He knew that the rift between them was mainly caused by his jackass behavior, but seeing Lucas hit the floor with a thud, made Nathan realize how much he needed his brother in his life.

Especially now that Haley had returned. Man, he was going to need some serious help to deal with that revelation.

He had tried to block out all the thoughts of Haley that were threatening to eat him alive, but it was no use. One look in her eyes and he couldn't deny that he still loved her. Especially when she had looked at him with longing and want apparent in her features. He had to make himself turn around and walk away so he didn't gather her in his arms and just forgive her for everything. It was too soon for all of that, and he was painfully aware that he couldn't trust her.

Hell, he didn't even know if she planned on sticking around, and that thought really hurt him. He loved her still, but he wasn't sure if they could make this relationship work. He guessed he would just have to wait and see if she stuck around this time, then they would deal with all the issues they had.

It would just be so much easier to walk away for good, too bad he loved her way too much to ever give her up completely.

He was broken out of his thoughts by the ringing of his cell phone, and was relieved when Brooke's giddy voice came on the line to tell him that Lucas had woken up.

'_Time to fix relationship number one'_ He thought as he got in his car and drove to the hospital to mend fences with Lucas.

As he walked back into Tree Hill General, Nathan experienced a feeling he rarely possessed. _Fear_. He just hoped that he could talk to Lucas when he was awake to hear it and have everything turn out okay.

"Hey," came the awkward greeting as he walked onto the room to see Lucas fidgeting with some machine he was attached to.

"Look, man, I'm sorry about what happened at the game, and I came here to apologize," he said with his head toward the ground, afraid Lucas was going to kick him out.

"Yeah…ummm…. About that….."

"Lucas, just let me get this out okay, you may never hear me say these words to you again if you try and interrupt me…. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through these past few months. I was pissed that you went to see Haley, I was pissed about Dan, and I just took it all out on you. I was an ass, but I really want us to be brothers again. Do you think you could forgive me?"

Nathan tentatively put his hand out to do the handshake he and Lucas had always done, half expecting Lucas to just ignore it.

Lucas hesitated briefly before returning the gesture. "On one condition, you never act like that big of a jackass again," he replied, shaking his head and smiling at his little brother.

Nathan smiled; it was going to be ok. He and Luke would get back the closeness they shared and maybe just maybe they would get their lives back together as well.


	10. Downfall

Okay guys, sorry for the long wait, I promise it won't happen again. My idiot friends accidentally deleted this chapter so I had to start over. I just wanted to say thank you to all those who reviewed last chapter. Your support really keeps me wanting to write more. As always, I do not own OTH or its characters. I wish I did, but sadly I do not. Anyway, on with the story…

**Chapter 10- Downfall**

_Wonder how you sleep  
I wonder what you think of me  
If I could go back  
Would you have ever been with me  
I want you to be unused  
I want you to remember  
I want you to believe in me  
I want you on my side  
_

"So what do you think about Brooke and Haley coming back?" Nathan asked Luke after a few minutes of comfortable silence between the now reunited brothers. They had been catching up for the past hour, but up until now, neither brother had mentioned the return of the women they had both loved so much.

"I'm glad they're back. I mean its weird considering how long they've been gone, but I think it will be okay. What about you?"

"Man, I'm not sure what I think about Haley coming back, I mean there is still so much we've left unresolved. I just…man it's gonna be hard. Besides, do we even know if they plan on staying?"

_And that was the million dollar question_. Luke thought about it. He just kinda assumed that since they had come back that maybe both of them realized how much everyone really needed them in Tree Hill, but they did have their own lives. He knew that he and Brooke had so much to resolve, and he couldn't imagine doing it with her all the way across the country again. And then there was Haley. He didn't think that his brother could watch her walk away yet again.

"Look Nate, I gotta ask you something. Why did you send Haley the annulment papers?"

Nathan looked down at the ground, trying to find out the right way to tell Luke that he had let Dan get the best of him, and that he immediately regretted sending them in the first place.

"Well…I…"

But he was cut off by what both boys could only assume was Brooke Davis carrying about 30 balloons and a giant stuffed animal. It was either that or a stuffed pink monkey was trying to break into the hospital room.

Luke smiled at the interruption. He knew there was a reason he had named her Cheery, but he had forgotten how much he missed having her around.

"Well hello Broody, and Boytoy," she added with a smirk upon seeing the other Scott in the room. She had heard from Peyton about the little tiff between the brothers, but she could only assume that they had worked things out. Boy, this was going to be interesting seeing as Peyton and Haley were about to walk through the door.

"Brooke, did you rob the gift shop or something?" Nathan laughed as she began pulling even more goodies out of the brown bag she had been carrying.

"Someone has to add a little cheer to this place, hospitals are way too boring," she smiled as she immediately walked over to the bed and sat down next to Lucas who was just chuckling at the antics of Brooke and Nathan.

The lighthearted banter was interrupted when the occupants of the room heard a small gasp from the doorway. There stood Haley James, tears running down her face, legs trembling, and her gaze focused solely on the boy in the hospital bed.

Haley was rooted to her spot in the floor. It had been hard for her the first time he had been in the hospital, but this time it was even worse. She didn't know if he even wanted to see her after everything she had done, and she really didn't think she could handle it if another Scott boy turned away from her. Her fears were soon erased as she heard the familiar greeting.

"Hey buddy, I missed you," smiled Lucas as he watched his best friend have a breakdown in the doorway. God he didn't realize how much he missed her until this very moment.

That greeting was all she needed before flung herself at him, crying and enveloping him in the tightest hug of his life.

"Luke…I'm so sorry… I was so scared I was going to lose you…I…"

"Shh, Haley its okay, you're here now"

"But I should have been here before," she sobbed, just thankful that she still had at least one of the most important men in her life.

Lucas just simply hugged her tighter, and just enjoyed the security of having his best friend back in his arms.

"You know, I heard you while I was in the coma," he whispered in her ear.

She pulled back slightly, not sure if she had really wanted him to hear her, afraid of what he would think of her.

She leaned in closer so that only he could hear and whispered, "And I meant every word of it Luke, I'm not running anymore."

He smiled and pulled her closer to him. "Welcome back, buddy"

Nathan was seriously starting to think that the room was going to close in on him. She had only been in the room about a minute, but all he could do was stare at her wrapped in his brother's arms, and it was enough to make him feel claustrophobic. She hadn't even realized he was in the room yet, but he was desperately trying to find a way to get out of there before she caught his eye. He still wasn't ready to have to face her, and just seeing her made him want to explode. He wasn't quite sure what emotion he was going to explode with, whether it be love or hate, and he didn't think the hospital needed any casualties from the war of he and Haley's hearts.

Before he could find a way to make the floor swallow him whole, another figure stood in the doorway.

Unlike Haley, Peyton did not cry or quake in fear of what lay ahead. Instead she calmly walked over to Luke, hugged him, and whispered that she was sorry into his ear. She and Luke had had so many fights over the summer and like always, one would end it by simply hugging the other and whispering sorry. No other explanations and no grand gestures. That was just how their friendship worked and they were fine with it.

Once Peyton had settled in on the bed next to Brooke, Haley finally snapped out of her trance and noticed that her husband was in the room. Every muscle in her body tensed and she nervously played with the end of the hospital blanket. More than anything she wanted to run into his arms and kiss him senseless, but she knew he wouldn't react kindly to that. She couldn't even meet his eyes for fear of what emotion she might find there.

"Nathan, hi"

"Ummm…Luke, look Whitey wanted to see me about something and I…umm… I gotta go," Nathan stammered out as he desperately tried to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Bye guys, Haley"

And with that, Nathan Scott was out of that hospital room faster than lightning.

"Boytoy really needs to work on his conversation skills," Brooke nervously laughed, trying to break the awkward silence that descended upon the room after Nathan's hasty exit.

"Seriously Haley, go talk to him, someone has to make the first move, and it looks like its gotta be you."

She nodded and sighed, then wordlessly got up to go after her husband. It was Haley's turn to fight for the one thing she wanted most, and it was a fight that her heart was determined not to lose.

* * *

_Come on and lay it down  
I've always been with you  
Here and now  
Give all that's within you  
Be my savior  
And I'll be your downfall_

She found him almost an hour later exactly where she knew that he would be- in the gym of Tree Hill High, repetitively shooting a basketball through a hoop. She knew that this was where he went to work out his frustrations, and she silently wondered how many times she had driven him to repeat this routine in her absence.

"What do you want Haley?" He asked, back still turned to her.

She silently wondered how he had known that she was there, she hadn't made a noise, and he certainly hadn't been able to see her.

"I know that its you, believe me, I wish I couldn't still tell exactly the moment you walk into a room," He spat out bitterly, angry at himself for still be able to read her so accurately.

"You, Nathan. All I want is you." She decided that if she was going to make any progress at all with her husband, she was going to have to lay her cards out on the table.

"Well you had me, but you decided that you wanted music more than you wanted me, so now you don't get to have me back."

"Nathan, don't do this, like I've told you before, there wasn't a moment when I was away… that my heart wasn't with you in Tree Hill."

"Yeah well you ripped my heart to pieces, so I don't really have one of those anymore," He sneered as he ripped his arm away from her as she tried desperately to hold on to him.

"Nathan please don't be like this, I still love you, and I want to give our marriage a second chance."

"Well you don't always get what you want." He was trying so hard to be indifferent, but the moment the tears started, all he wanted to do was kiss them away. But then he remembered how much it had hurt when she left and the pain was magnified once again.

"Look, I know how you feel…"

"How I feel, Haley you have no idea how I feel. First off my brother almost dies, and then who do I see in the waiting room, you. You couldn't come home when I needed you, but you were on the first plane back for Luke."

"Nathan," she cried, the tears running down her face, "It's not like that. You told me not to come home…you…"

"Yeah but you did. And you came home for him, not me, and that hurts like hell."

"Okay Nathan, yeah, I did come home because Luke was in the hospital. But you know what I'm not leaving this time. I'm not going anywhere. So, I might have come home for him, but the reason that I'm staying here is because of you. You alone. I know you told me not to, but I quit the tour to come home to you, because you mean more to me than music ever could. I made the biggest mistake when I left, but I meant it when I told you always and forever, because that really is how long I will love you."

Nathan was shocked into silence with her confession. He was running the words over and over in his head, and he barely noticed as she kissed his cheek and ran out of the gym. His heart wanted to follow her, it always did, but his brain wouldn't let him.

He slowly started to smile a rueful smile; she really was going to fight for him this time. It wasn't ideal, and he didn't know if or how long it would take to trust her again. But it was a start, and a damn good one at that.

Haley sunk against the wall of the school and bawled her eyes out, the guilt almost eating her alive. She had done this to him, caused him this much pain, turned him back into that bitter person. As she looked up to the sky, she made a vow to never make him feel like that again for the rest of her life.

She saw him walk out of the gym and straight past her, but her heart literally stopped as he glanced back in her direction for one second, and she could hear him whisper back in the wind. _"Always and forever."_

She had seen a glimmer of hope in his eyes, and for a moment, she saw the love he always possessed for her in them as well. And that one glimmer was enough to make her feel that the battle was not lost.

* * *

Peyton seriously thought she was going to go crazy if she sat in the hospital room one more moment with Brooke and Lucas. For the past half hour they had been stealing glances at each other, but strictly avoiding direct eye contact. She could tell they were both nervous about talking to each other, but she was going to strangle them if they kept this stupid cat and mouse game up any longer.

"Okay guys, as fun as this has been, I have to go work on some stuff at Tric, bye, see you later," and she was out the door, before Brooke and Lucas could register that they were alone and that now they had to talk.

Brooke nervously chuckled, "So it looks like our friends all ditched us."

"Why is this so awkward Brooke?" Lucas asked as he pulled her closer to him and entwined their fingers. He figured that if he could bridge the physical distance between them, then maybe they could bridge the emotional distance as well.

"I don't know, I guess we just have a lot of things to figure out," she replied, starting to be put at ease with the whole situation. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as she thought.

"Yeah, I guess we do. Look, I just want to apologize for what I told you before you left for the summer. I never should have told you that I had feelings for you with your cab right outside."

"Lucas, its okay, I never should have waited so long to talk to you about it, and I shouldn't have run away like that." He squeezed her hand as she told him this, and she settled even closer to him.

"I also wanted to tell you that I convinced my parents to let me stay in Tree Hill for the rest of the school year. I'm not going back to California."

Lucas's heart soared at the news. She was staying, and maybe they could get to where they needed to be, in a committed relationship. "Why did you fight so hard to come back, was it because of me?"

"Most of all it was for me," she replied. But after seeing the crestfallen look on his face, she felt like she needed to clarify.

"What I mean is, my whole life is here, not in California. Everything I love is here,' She gave his hand a squeeze. "So I figured why stay away any longer, and I missed everyone here way too much, _especially you_." She knew she didn't give him a direct answer, or come out and tell him that she came back because of him, that she wanted to be with him, but she could tell that he got it form the way he was looking at her.

He pulled her into another slow kiss, and she responded happily. It was still short and sweet, mostly because neither really wanted to get in trouble form the nurses that kept popping in his room, but it was filled with so much passion that neither Brooke nor Lucas could deny what was happening between them.

Breathlessly, they pulled away, realizing that there was still more that needed to be said before they could start over. Lucas was just happy that she was staying, and that she obviously had some sort of feelings for him. Plus, she didn't seem to be as scared of the possibility of a relationship with him this time.

"So where does that leave us?" He asked, hoping that she would tell him that maybe she wanted to be with him too.

She smiled, "Well…"

But she was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Figuring that it was one of their friends or Karen she didn't turn around, but what she heard stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Hey Boyfriend"

There in the doorway stood Rachel Getina, holding a stuffed animal, and smirking evilly at the brunette who seemed like she was going to faint any moment.

Deciding that she didn't like the brunette already, Rachel pranced over to Lucas, and attempted to give him a kiss on the lips. Lucas, however, managed to avoid her and she got his cheek instead.

This was bad, thought Lucas. He barely even remembered that Rachel existed at this point, and now here she was ruining everything that he and Brooke were trying to achieve. _Brooke._ He looked her in the eyes and could see the shock and anger that they held. He also realized that she had dropped his hand, and recoiled from his touch. He had to explain things now, and he had to get Rachel out of there fast.

"Umm Rachel…hi…ummm Brooke and I were kind of in the middle of something important. Could you wait outside for a little while?"

"No, no its okay Lucas, go spend time with you girlfriend. I have to go," Brooke replied curtly, and he realized that things were about to become very complicated.

Rachel, didn't seem phased by Brooke's rudeness, and quickly realized that she was the girl that Lucas had been hung up on. She recognized the girls picture form Lucas's room. _'Game on'_ Rachel thought. Whatever she had interrupted was perfect, and she was going to see to it that this girl didn't get Lucas.

"Brooke wait, please don't go. It's not what you think," Lucas tried to get her to listen to him, not caring that Rachel was still there. But he also knew how Brooke Davis got when she was mad, and now was one of those times.

Brooke was doing everything in her power not to cry right there in front of him. He had a girlfriend, and a slutty one at that. She couldn't believe it. She was so mad, but a part of her could see that he was being genuine, and that he wasn't excited for the other girl to be in the room. She knew there was more to the story, but right now, she wasn't willing to stick around and hear the explanation. It was all too much, and she had to get out of there before she killed that red-head.

"Lucas, I have to go," She nearly choked out. "Bye," and then she ran out of the room as fast as she could.

Lucas just watched as everything fell apart right in front of his face. He couldn't even look at Rachel, he didn't want to. All he wanted was Brooke, and his stupid actions had once again made her literally run out of his life.

_Give all that's within you  
Be my savior  
And I'll be your downfall_

* * *

Okay, guys please do not hurl the tomatoes just yet, I know this isn't going to be your favorite chapter, but please have faith. This is and always will be a Brucas, and I intend not to disappoint. The lyrics for this chapter were from Matchbox 20, _'Downfall'_. Now, please let me know what you think, I was extremely nervous to post this chapter. And as always, I love you guys for reading. 


	11. Uncomfortably Numb

Sorry it took so long guys, I had a bit of writer's block, but I've managed to get past it. As always thanks for the support and encouragement from those of you that take time to review. It really means a lot. And once again, special thanks to Sam, girl there wouldn't be a story if it wasn't for you. Anyway, as always I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters. And now, on with the story….

**Chapter 11- Uncomfortably Numb**

_I love it I hate it  
I can't live without  
I love it I hate it, baby_

"Peyton Sawyer, get your fake-blonde butt down here right now so I can kill you," Brooke screamed as she tore through her best friend's house, pacing and muttering to herself. She didn't know how she wasn't crying right now, but she figured that it might have something to do with the overwhelming urge she had to kill someone.

Too bad for Payton that she seemed to be the only one home.

"Brooke, what in the hell is wrong with you?" Peyton asked, halfway pissed and amused by the spectacle her best friend was making of herself downstairs. If she hadn't known Brooke so well, she seriously would try and have her committed right now.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me he had a girlfriend…? I swear I hate that trashy red head already," Brooke screeched as she flung her purse onto the nearest chair and continued her rant.

"Oh, so I see that you met Rachel."

"Yes, I met Rac-hell," Brooke mocked. "I can't believe I would actually fall for him again and he has a girlfriend…. I…"

"Brooke, slow down. Rachel is not his girlfriend, technically, I mean they've only been dating for like two weeks…. And he doesn't really like her that much anyway."

"Yeah, well then why is he with her?" Brooke replied, sounding a lot more broken than she would have liked.

"Honestly, Brooke, it was to make himself get over you," Peyton tried to calm her friend and figured that telling her the truth would somehow make things better. Peyton soon realized that the truth was probably not the best idea because Brooke immediately stopped her pacing, and Peyton could see the tears forming in her eyes.

"Peyton, I didn't wanna get scared again, but she was in his room, and she seemed so comfortable, what if he really doesn't want to be with me…"

"Brooke, calm down," Peyton replied as she ran down the stairs and gathered the brunette in her arms. Brooke had been doing rather well considering everything that had gone on the past four days, and knowing Brooke as well as she did, this breakdown was way overdue.

Peyton just sighed as she rubbed Brooke's back and waited for her to come out and say what was really wrong. After about five minutes of crying, Brooke finally started to open up.

"God, I realize how stupid all of this is. I'm crazy about him, and I thought he was crazy about me, why does this have to be so hard?" Brooke spoke more to herself than anything, and Peyton decided to keep her remarks to herself and just let Brooke get it all out.

"I came back thinking that everything was going to be okay, that I would admit to him that I had feelings for him, we would kiss and make up, and it would all work out. Was that pathetic?"

"No, that's not pathetic, and you have no idea what's going on in his head. You have to talk to him Brooke; it's not fair to either of you if you just run away when something scares you."

"I know, I will, I just need some time to think about it."

"Brooke, what is there to think about? That's ridiculous. You love him, it's written all over your face so don't try and deny it. Go talk to him and sort everything out. You've both hurt each other, but now is the chance to get over it and be together." Peyton huffed. It was time someone knocked some sense into her best friend's thick head, and she was going to be the one to do it.

Brooke, looked at her best friend in shock, Peyton never just came out and told her that she was being childish, but now she was letting her have it.

"Look, I know that the Rachel thing was a shock, and I'm not defending Luke, but no one knew when you were coming back, or if you even thought about Tree Hill anymore. You got a chance to move on, I understand that, but we were just kind of left behind," Peyton sighed.

"Oh Peyton," Brooke sighed as she threw her arms around the other girl. She realized that her leaving didn't only affect her; it affected those that she left as well. "I'm so sorry. God, I'm such an idiot."

"No its okay, I get why you did it, besides I'm not the one that was in love with you the whole time you were gone."

"I guess I have to go see him and try and explain why I ran, again, huh?"

"Yeah, if you want to be with him you do."

"I will, I just gotta give it a little time. He needs to worry about getting better right now; we can talk about us when he's out of the hospital." Brooke said, trying to stall as much as possible. She loved him, but she still needed a little push to be able to make this work.

Peyton really wanted to knock Brooke over the head after that last comment, but she was used to the way that Brooke Davis operated. That girl was ballsy as all hell when it came to everything except her heart. She was always scared to fight for what mattered most and Peyton just hoped that they could finally get it together. So she just hugged her and nodded in reassurance.

The two were broken out of their little girl talk when Haley busted through the door and immediately ran into their embrace.

Just from the tears, they knew that things didn't go like she planned with Nathan.

Peyton couldn't help but groan inwardly, she had just calmed one of them down, now it was the other one's turn. She missed them like hell, but she sure could have lived a little longer without all the drama of Brooke and Haley. But, as any good friend would do, she wrapped her arms around Haley as well and asked the phrase she was dreading.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Haley nodded her head affirmatively and they all settled in for some more girl talk.

* * *

After a little more sobbing and some friendly advice, the three had moved up to Peyton's room and were currently occupying themselves by watching old movies. They had all had enough of their little pity party, and Brooke has suggested that they all get makeovers.

So now they were just bonding as friends and the original awkwardness was beginning to fade. It was almost like old times, and that was something all three girls were very thankful for.

"So, not that I don't love having the two of you living with me, but where are you going to live permanently?"

"Karen found us a cute two bedroom apartment and we're going to look at it tomorrow. I can't wait to decorate," Brooke clapped her hands together excitedly. "Peyt, will you draw something cool on the wall?"

Sure Brooke. So, Haley are you as excited about it as B. Davis over there?"

"I just wanna live with Nathan again," Haley replied glumly, and was immediately hit in the head with a pillow.

"Tutorgirl, no more moping. We promised no more boy talk."

"Fine Brooke, no more boy talk. Are we all set for school tomorrow?" Haley randomly asked.

"Tutorgirl, no one but you actually cares about school… Oh, but I did get the cutest outfit. Oh God! Wait, I have a crisis"

"What?" Peyton and Haley asked simultaneously. God only knew what problem Brooke had already.

"I'm not a cheerleader anymore, what am I going to do?" Brooke asked, devastated at the thought of not being a THH cheerleader.

Peyton just laughed, "Well Brooke, seeing as I am the captain now, I would be willing to give you your spot back, on one condition."

"And what would that condition be missy-Blondie girl?"

"Haley has to agree to join too," Peyton giggled mischievously.

"What! No, no way!" Haley yelled. "I am not a cheerleader."

"Well, I'm the captain and that is my rule. No exceptions" Peyton was really enjoying torturing her friends. Besides she knew it would be good for Haley to be around them all after school let out.

Brooke was already on top of Haley waiting to pounce by the time she was finished protesting "Tutorgirl, I was born to be a cheerleader, so you will join, and you will be happy about it, or else."

Haley was truthfully kinda frightened by the look in the brunette's eyes, and knew she would never hear the end of it if she didn't agree. _'I can't believe I'm doing this' _she thought.

"Okay, I'll do it… Now get off of me. Peyton, you suck"

"Yay!" Brooke screamed and then started waving Peyton's pom-poms around the room. Haley only groaned. How was she going to put up with this for the rest of the year?

* * *

Tomorrow certainly was going to be interesting, and she could only imagine what kind of gossip that this was going to create.

Lucas just sat in the hospital room, brooding as usual.

He had politely kicked Rachel out and told her that he just wasn't ready for a relationship. He also had told her that there was someone else. What he didn't expect though, was for her to tell him that it was ok and to come find her when it didn't work out.

And that kind of bothered him. Who was she to say that it wasn't going to work out? He and Brooke hadn't even begun to try and sort everything out and people were already destining them for failure.

He sighed as he painfully admitted that they could be right. And he was so afraid of that possibility. But, she had run out on him,_ again_. It was definitely becoming a habit. He just hoped it wouldn't take as long this time for her to come and talk to him. Because that was frustrating, especially when he hadn't done anything wrong.

He was interrupted from his pondering by another knock on the door, and prepared to face whichever well-wisher was going to be there this time.

"Hi Coach"

Whitey walked into the room and sighed a sigh of relief as he came in to see one of his favorite players. He was really going to miss Lucas playing on the team. He just hoped that Lucas would accept the offer he was about to make so that he could still be a part of the Raven's.

"Glad to see you vertical, well-partially" the coach corrected in his normally gruff voice, and gave Lucas a pat in the shoulder.

"Sorry about that Coach, but hey we won, right," Lucas asked, hopeful that he wouldn't get chewed out by Whitey.

"Boy you really are a damn-fool. No game is worth your life. I swear sometimes you are just as dumb as that idiot brother of yours. I thought you were the smart one," Whitey bellowed.

"Sorry Coach, it was just hard to give up basketball, it was all I had," Lucas quietly admitted.

Whitey softened his tone; he could understand where Lucas was coming from. He too had used basketball as a lifeline when he didn't have anything else left, but he didn't want Lucas to make the same mistakes he had. "Look son, you know I can't let you play anymore, right?"

"Yeah Coach, I know, I'm off the team," Lucas didn't realize how hard it was going to be to say the words until they cam out of his mouth.

"Well, I do have another suggestion, and I hope you are willing to accept it. I want you to be the team manager. And before you refuse, it's not like being the ball boy. Look Lucas, you have a lot of love for the game, the team sees that, and they respect you. That's why I want you to be my assistant, help with injured players, at practices, and during the games. This is still your team, and as the co-captain. I really hope you'll still be a part of it."

Lucas just looked at the man who pushed him constantly, and contemplated what he had just offered. "Look Coach, I appreciate it, but I don't want this to be about pity…. I,"

But he was cut off by Whitey, "I don't do pity Lucas, and I'm offering this to you because you deserve it. You are one hell of a player, and maybe one day you would make one hell of a coach. I need someone to help and I want it to be someone who loves the game. I couldn't think of a better person than you."

"Okay Coach I'll do it. But does this mean I get to bully Nathan around," Lucas jokingly asked.

Whitey laughed back, "It sure as hell does. Glad to see you made the smart move Scott. But if you pull another stunt like this, it won't be the faulty heart that kills you. It'll be me. See you later son."

Lucas couldn't help but chuckle at Whitey's last comment. He loved his coach but he also knew that Whitey meant what he just said, and Whitey was one person Lucas was scared to piss off.

* * *

The next couple of days came and went. Lucas was still stuck in the hospital. Brooke and Haley were the most talked about girls in school, and Nathan was still avoiding his wife like the plague.

The only entertaining thing was seeing Brooke and Rachel go at it in the halls and at practice.

The group had been over to see Lucas everyday, as well as the guys from the team, and the Rivercourt gang. The girls usually came as a trio, and Brooke tried desperately to make small talk and avoid being alone with Lucas for any amount of time She wanted to see him, but she wasn't ready to talk.

Nathan usually came by himself a few minutes after the girls would leave, and Lucas knew he purposely waited so he didn't have to see Haley.

They mainly just caught up and talked, glad to finally be friends again. They hadn't talked about their problems with the now roommates. But it was good to just be brothers again.

The only thing Lucas was worried about though was his continuing health problems. The doctors had run every test possible, and now all they could do was wait and see how extensive the damage was, and what they could do to repair it.

Lucas was getting increasingly more frustrated with being in the hospital as well. And he was still worried about what was going on between him and Brooke. He didn't want to be annoyed with her, but it seemed like she was deliberately trying to shut him out, and it was really starting to tick him off.

He just hoped that they could figure things out soon. He had waited in limbo for too long with her, and all he wanted was some answers and a fresh start.

He was sitting in the hospital flipping through the channels and waiting for the girls to get out of practice so they could entertain him.

When heard the door open, he wondered who it was, surely Brooke didn't cancel cheerleading practice or anything. Haley popped her head in, and immediately came to sit by him on the bed.

"Hey buddy, where are the rest of the musketeers?" He playfully joked. But it was a surprise to see his buddy there without the other two surrounding her.

"I told Brooke that I was sick and skipped practice. I wanted to come see you, I haven't really had a chance to talk to you alone, and I wanted to check up on you."

He laughed, Haley was always the mother-hen of the group, but he was glad to have her, he had missed her so much, and it was nice to feel that familiar sense of comfort again.

"I'm fine Hales, really. I've just got to wait for the results."

"Luke, are you sure that's all that's bothering you, you've seemed a little distracted the past few days, especially when a certain brunette roommate of mine is around."

He sighed. Leave it to Haley to be able to read him like a book. She could always tell when something was bothering him, and now was one of those times that he wished she couldn't read him like the back of her hand.

"I just wish she would talk to me, I mean really talk to me and deal with all this crap that keeps getting in the way, I mean is it too much to expect that much from her."

"Luke, she will, you just got to give her time. It was really hard for her to choose to come back here, she had a good thing going in California, and she's still adjusting to being in Tree Hill again, and especially to seeing you." Haley replied, unknowingly making the situation worse.

One thing that Haley just said stuck in his brain as he heard his best friend make up excuses for Brooke's behavior. _'Choose'_ He thought that she had been forced to stay in California, that her parents wouldn't let her return. _'She couldn't have just chosen to throw everything away, to abandon everybody like that, could she?'_ Even though he didn't want to know the answer, he had to find out. He felt bad for making Haley unknowingly spill information to him, but she hadn't been around to see what it had done to him either.

"So her parents didn't make her stay?" He asked, trying to keep the frustration and anger out of his voice. He just hoped that Haley didn't tell him what he suspected to be true.

"No, she said she wanted a fresh start, and she got that in California, she seemed to like it there," Haley answered, still oblivious to the can of worms she had just opened.

Well, there it was. She had just given up; put him through months of torture, and for what. A new life, a life she abandoned when she finally realized how good she had it before. He couldn't believe it. She had the nerve to run out on him again, and she had been the one to throw everything away.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even hear Haley calling his name.

"Luke, where did you just go, I was trying to get your attention. Are you okay?"

He really couldn't stand to see anyone right now, the new information that he just learned haunted him. He couldn't face _her,_ now, he really didn't care too.

"Umm, Hales, I'm not feeling too great right now, you think you could tell the other's that I just wasn't up to a visit today for me."

Haley was disappointed but agreed anyway. He had seemed fine just a few minutes ago, and now he was completely brooding and acting strange, she didn't know what had brought about the change.

"Yeah, sure Luke. You just get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she kissed his forehead and made her way to the door still a little confused by his sudden change in behavior. Maybe she couldn't read him as well as she thought anymore.

Once the door shut, Luke's anger came out as he flung the TV remote across the room. _Damn Brooke Davis._ He should have known better. He just wondered how she could just give up, and then at the first sign of trouble waltz back in and expect everything to be okay. He had known he had hurt her in the past, he had made ever effort to make up for his mistakes, yet she was still punishing him. _Well that was done now._

He and Brooke Davis were over. He wasn't going to let her break his heart anymore than it already was.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys. The title and lyrics in this chapter were from Butch Walker, _'Uncomfortably Numb'_. Please let me know what you think, your feedback really inspires me to write faster. 


	12. Waste It All on You

I actually got this one out pretty fast, thanks guys for all your reviews. I just want to say that I do not know the actual treatment for a patient with HCM. These details are for the story purpose only, and I do not know medical terms. Please excuse this lack of knowledge. Anyway, as always I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters.

And on with the story….. (oh and flashbacks are in italics)

**Chapter 12- Waste It All on You**

_She makes her way up to the front door  
Completely numb when she hears my voice  
Her burdened eyes show signs of light now  
To me there's nothing there but cold _

When everything is changed  
Can it be the same

Lucas sat in his bedroom fighting off all the bad memories that just seemed to surround him. He had gotten out of the hospital the day prior, but had made no attempt to leave his room since then. He had too much to think about, and really didn't want to face the outside world right now.

He was consumed by his visit with the doctor before he was discharged, and how the information he received was going to affect the rest of his life.

"_Mr. Scott, Miss Roe, please have a seat," Instructed Lucas's physician Dr. Williams._

_The pair did as they were told, Lucas dying to know how bad his condition really was. He nervously tapped his foot on the ground while waiting for the doctor to tell him his prognosis._

"_Mr. Scott, it seems that you have out quite a lot of stress on your heart. The level of physical activity that you were performing at caused the medicine to quit working, thus triggering your attack."_

_Lucas just glanced guiltily at the ground, but was comforted by his mother's reassuring squeeze of his hand._

"_It seems you have caused extensive damage to your heart. Too much for a person of your age. I'm sorry to say this, but it will take surgery to repair some of the damage. Your heart will never be back to the way it was before the effects of the disease, but you will be able to lead a normal life."_

"_And without the surgery, what will happen?" Lucas asked, desperately trying to stop the lump that was forming in his throat._

"_Without the surgery, your condition will progressively get worse with time, and hinder you from completing even basic everyday tasks."_

"_And with the surgery, what will happen after it?" Karen asked this time and Lucas just looked gratefully at her, he wasn't sure if he could find his voice at all right now._

"_With the surgery, the condition will not worsen. You will be able to lead a normal life, but you still will not physically be able to competitively play sports at the level you were prior to this attack. Everything else should be fine, and you should be able to perform most physical activities as long as you do not place too much stress on your heart. In addition to the surgery, you will have to continue on the prescription indefinitely."_

_Lucas just closed his eyes and leaned back against the chair. His life was about to completely change, and he didn't like it one bit._

"_Doctor, when do you suggest we perform this surgery?"_

"_Well Miss Roe, I would like to do it in 3 weeks. Until then Lucas, please take it easy. No strenuous physical activity, and take your medication regularly."_

_And just like that his fate was sealed. The doctor quickly thanked them both for their time, and after scheduling the surgery with the nurse, Lucas was sent home._

That conversation kept playing over and over in his mind, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for himself. Leave it to Dan to never give him anything but a heart condition. That was just the topping on this whole experience. Lucas still couldn't believe that he was going to have to have surgery to correct this, and that he was going to have to change his whole life because of his genetics. He shouldn't have pushed himself so hard. He shouldn't have tried to outperform his medication. He should have told someone what was going on. There were a lot of shoulda, coulda wouldas floating in his mind, and he just wanted it all to stop.

He just hated the fact that he had a broken heart, both literally and figuratively.

And somehow that's how his thoughts lead back to Brooke Davis. While he was responsible for his literal heart break, she was more than responsible for his figurative ailment.

He knew that he was being stubborn, but knowing that she had chosen to remain in California on her own free will, was just something that he could not overlook. He just couldn't let her back in after that revelation. He just couldn't give her the power to walk out when things got tough again. He just couldn't trust her not to run away, and take his heart with her once again. His heart was already a little bit broken, and he was afraid that if she got tired of him, then she would have the ability to shatter it into a million pieces. So, he had to get out now, before he fell even harder.

What amazed him most was that she believed that everything was going to be fine and dandy, and that she could just walk back in because of some change of heart. Well he didn't operate like that, and he wasn't going to give in this time. He had loved her, hell those feelings don't just go away, but he couldn't trust her.

A conversation he had with Nathan the other day, just reaffirmed what he was feeling.

_The brothers were sitting in Luke's room, pretending to pay attention to the TV, when Lucas decided that he had to tell someone what was going on._

"_Nate, I have a question…What's really keeping you from taking Haley back? I know you still love her but why can't you let her back in." Lucas asked curious to see what his brother's reaction was going to be to the question at hand._

"_Man, don't try and push us back together, I'm just not ready."_

"_That's not what I'm trying to do Nate," Lucas sighed not wanting to actually admit that Brooke had shattered his heart as well. "I found out that Brooke chose to stay in California, and that she chose to just ignore everything we had. And it sucks."Lucas answered barely in a whisper._

"_Oh man, that sucks. So you were asking my opinion because I got royally screwed as well?" Nathan smirked, trying to make light of the situation and continued as his brother nodded affirmatively._

"_Truth is Luke; I just can't go back to that place. She literally ripped my heart out of my chest and left it on the ground. It's not easy to start over with the one who destroyed your whole world."_

"_Does it make you love her or want her any less?"_

"_Man I wish it did. Truth is I'll always love her, and being away from her is killing me, but I have to make sure that she's going to fight this time. I know it sounds selfish and vindictive, but I want her to feel a little of the pain she caused me, just so she knows how much it hurts. Then maybe she won't ever try and inflict that pain on us again."_

"_Do you ever think you're going to get back to where you were?"_

"_Honestly Luke, no. We may end up someplace completely different, but we will never be who we were before. And I'm not sure that I want to, like I said, she ripped apart my world, and part of me is scared shitless to give her that chance again." _

The last part of that conversation kept replaying in his brain. He was just going to ignore the way he felt, because feeling nothing was much easier than facing the pain. So for now, he would just go on, without Brooke Davis, and hope that he could just forget everything they had been through. Besides he had fought so hard to get to where they had been before she left that maybe it was her turn to be the one who fell from grace. He had always been the screw-up in there relationship, that maybe she could see what it was like from the other side of the fence.

_I pace across the bedroom floor  
Numbness comes with a rage of fire  
I blanky look up at a heart of stone  
These two months nothing but a lie _

How can it be the same  
when you know everything is changed

* * *

Brooke was nervous. She was finally going to quit avoiding the situation and tell Lucas to his face that she loved him. She knew she had been stupid to run away him because of that tramp Rachel, and she wasn't going to do it anymore. She was going to claim what was hers, and no one was going to stand in her way this time.

She walked up to his bedroom, and smiled as she saw the door was still painted red, reminding her of everything he had done for her, and everything he meant to her. She was filled with butterflies as she knocked, and hoped that he was happy to see her.

"Come in" she heard from beyond the door. One last deep breath and she was finally ready to put it all out on the line.

She entered the dark room, and was surprised to see Lucas glaring at her. She hadn't gotten much chance to talk to him after Haley had visited the other day, and she was worried because he had said he wasn't feeling well every time she had stopped by.

Lucas knew that he should have just ignored the knocking when he saw the person at the door. He was still too pissed and hurt about everything in his life to have this particular conversation right now, but he knew that he couldn't stall any longer, and that this needed to be done sometime, maybe if he was angry he would actually have the strength to do what he had to.

"Brooke," He answered.

Brooke was surprised by the icy tone in his voice and his lack of enthusiasm toward her being there. Something was definitely wrong, and she immediately rushed to his side to see what the matter was, and she just hoped it wasn't something bad with his heart.

She started to get even more worried though, when he wouldn't meet her eyes and he practically jumped to the other side of the bed to avoid touching her at all costs. She was going to find out what the hell was going on, and she was going to find out right now.

"Lucas, what's wrong, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," came his icy reply.

"Does this have anything to do with the other day...? Lucas I am so sorry I ran, I mean it," she tried to reach out to him once again, and once again he shrugged off her embrace.

But she continued on anyway, determined to gain his forgiveness, "I should have stayed, I shouldn't have felt threatened. Can you forgive me?"

His silence was killing her, but when he finally replied, she just wished he wouldn't have said anything at all.

"Brooke, this isn't about the other day. I just don't think that this is going to work between us. I just can't be with someone who would just choose to walk away from everything she cares about," he spat, the anger creeping into his voice.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. _'This wasn't how this was supposed to go'_ she thought to herself.

"Lucas….what…what are you talking about?" came her choked reply.

"I know you chose to stay in California, and I don't want to be with you Brooke, I've moved on, you should too," he lied, hoping she would just go away, knowing that would not be the case.

"Lucas, that's… that's crazy… I wanna be with you, and I thought you wanted that too," Brooke replied in a daze. She didn't want him to realize that she could have come back anytime, but she was not expecting this reaction. She didn't really do anything wrong, did she?

All she knew was that he had to forgive her, she didn't know what she would do if he didn't.

"Well you thought wrong."

"Lucas, you can't say that, please tell me that's not how you really feel," her voice broke with emotion. She couldn't have screwed up that badly.

"You want me to tell you how I really feel Brooke, I'll tell you" Lucas shouted, barely able to keep his emotions in check.

Brooke was frightened by the anger in his voice and the way he was looking at her. This had to be a mistake, they were supposed to be starting over, not falling apart.

"I'm hurt and downright pissed," Came the reply, and the ice in his eyes, made her break down in tears. She didn't realize how badly she had hurt him until she saw his eyes, and could see the emotion that lied within them.

"But Lucas, I was scared…." But she was cut off.

"Yeah well, do you know how it feels to have everyone you care about leave you? To have everything you love walk out of your life." He struggled not to break down as well, especially when he saw her begin to sob. He wasn't going to care anymore.

Brooke could see the raw emotion in his eyes, and she knew that this fight was far from over. She just listened in stunned silence tears rolling down her face as he continued his rant. He got up from the bed and began pacing the room, getting angrier with every word.

"_Well I do._ Keith, Haley, Mom, Nathan, **You.** Every person in the world that I loved walked away, and to find out that you could have stayed if you wanted to. It pisses me off. It was one thing when I thought you were forced to stay in California. I figured it was just going to be too hard for us, but to know that you just didn't want to talk to me, well it really tells me how much you care." He finished, willing her to feel at least half the hurt he did at this very moment.

"Lucas, I do care, I…love…"

"No, don't even say it. I heard it when I was in a coma. _You love me_, what a crock of shit, because if you loved me you wouldn't have gone out and gotten a new life."

"But Lucas, just listen, I was scared, scared to let you back in, scared to trust you again. I thought I was doing what was best; I thought I could just forget." She sobbed; she couldn't just let him walk away like this. She realized that she had made a mistake in staying in California, that's why she came back, but he wasn't listening to her pleading.

"Well did you?' He knew the answer already, but he just wanted to hear her say it.

"Of course not, I realized that you had my heart and that I was still in love with you" she laid it on the line, maybe if he realized that she did love him, maybe he would forgive her.

He looked at her, and saw how broken she was, and a part of him just wanted to back down, to let her in, but the bigger part of him just couldn't allow that. He was hurting so much with his heart and then her lies, that it felt so good to just let his frustrations out. He knew he would regret being so harsh with her later, but for right now all he wanted her to do was hurt.

"When?" he whispered, moving closer to her, an eerie calm tone in his voice.

"_What?"_

"I'm asking, when did you realize this?" He stood so that his face was mere inches from her own.

"About the moment after I left," her voice still strangled, the tears still freely falling.

"Well, you have a funny way of showing it because four months have passed since then. Brooke, you can't expect to just walk back in and have me welcome you with open arms. It doesn't work like that."

"But I'm not going anywhere this time. I want to be there for you. I want to help you. We can get through this. **_Together."_** She reached for him once again, but as soon as she made contact with his arm, he yanked it away as if her touch had burned him.

"No, I can get through this **_alone_**." He spat, the anger once again creeping in.

"You want to know why I kept my HCM a secret, do you really want to know?" he shouted, finally losing the battle with his emotions and breaking into tears.

"It's because I had no one to tell, no one that I thought would care. Do you know how that feels Brooke? Do you?"

Upon hearing this, her heart broke just a little more if that was possible, and she knew that she had hurt him, that she had driven him to this point. She was snapped out of her thoughts when he continued talking and pacing the floor to his room.

"So excuse me if I can't just forget that you walked away. That you weren't willing to give it a shot when I poured my heart out to you the first time. I just can't go back there Brooke, its time we just cut our losses and get out now. Besides, don't you want to go back home? He nearly tripped over the last word, up until a few days ago a part of him thought that he was her home, boy was he wrong.

"**_I am home._** Lucas. I'm staying here and I'm not running away again."

"Well, don't stay on my account. You and me, we're through."

"But I came back for you, because I love you." She started crying harder again at her admission, it wasn't working and it was killing her, he seemed like such a stranger, and not the man she loved.

"You came back because you felt guilty Brooke, if you had come back _for me_ as you put it, you would have been here long before now."

"So you're just going to walk away even though you love me too, well that's a jackass move." She said, a bit of the Brooke Davis fight seeping back into her veins.

"Who said I loved you?" He taunted his voice uncharacteristically raw and emotionless. "Besides, you gave up before, why would this time be different?" he asked, not waiting to hear the answer before he began walking to the door.

As she saw him turn his back on her, she realized that she had a decision to make, and fast. She could let him walk away in typical Brooke fashion, or she could fight for what she loved. She had run away before, and it had cost her everything, so this time she didn't choose the path of least resistance. She finally was going to fight for what she wanted when it came to her heart. And like it had since the very first moment she laid eyes on him, her heart wanted nothing but the boy with sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.

"Lucas, I mean it; I'm not giving up this time. I realize that I made a mistake, okay. But you and me, _we'll never just be through_. There is too much there."

He was a little surprised that she was still not giving up, and that was exactly what part of him wanted, he wanted her to fight for him, but he didn't actually think that she would. Her next words though, stopped him dead in his tracks, and made a part of him cry out to just let it go and be with her.

"**_I am the girl for you Lucas Scott,"_** she replied, her voice even and confident for the first time since she arrived, and the tears finally coming to an end.

"You may not think so now, but eventually you'll see it, and I'm going to prove it to you. I ran away once, and I'm not going to make that mistake twice."

He didn't turn around, didn't respond, but if Brooke could have seen his face in that exact moment, she would have seen the flicker of hope that danced within them, a sign that all was not lost.

But Brooke couldn't se the hope in his eyes, and so she left, she didn't want to go just yet, a part of her still hoping for him to call her back. But it did not come; he did not stop her from leaving. She had said all that she could say, and now the rest was up to him.

But she meant every word that she had said, she wasn't giving up. She would give him his space, but her heart refused to ever completely let go.

_How can it be the same  
when you know everything is changed _

Broken trust can never be regained  
It was never there to start  
I have my reasons why  
Not to waste it all on you

* * *

Don't worry guys; this is not the end I promise. It's only going to get better from here, so be prepared, its gonna be a good ride. Please let me know what you think, your reviews mean the world to me, even though I am pretty sure that some of you don't like me too much right now. The Lyrics in the chapter were Ingram Hill, '_Waste it all on You._' Thanks for reading. 


	13. Something that I Never Had

Hey guys, once again thanks for reading and reviewing you guys are awesome, and I have gotten some great reviews. But, here's the thing, I'm so close to 100 reviews and I would love to break that with this chapter. So, if you've got a second, please let me know what you think.

Oh, and this chapter is for Sam, because without her who knows where this story would be. And right now I have to give her a shameless plug. Sam (xo going nowhere) is a great author and has a lot of wonderful stories, but her newest one has got to be my favorite. It is called _Hard to Find_, and it is a Neyton. Just read it, I promise you'll love it even if you aren't the biggest Neyton fan.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. I don't own any of it…..

* * *

**Chapter 13- Something That I Never Had**

_Do you see me  
Do you feel me like I feel you  
Call your number  
I can not get through  
You don't hear me and I don't understand  
When I reach out I don't find your hand_

Five of Tree Hill's elite teens all faced Monday morning with trepidation. None of them wanted to step foot into that high school, each afraid to face something or someone that had once meant so much to them.

Peyton Sawyer was just plain sick and tired of the drama. Currently she was the only member of their group that was actually speaking to the rest, and it was not a job that she enjoyed. Nathan was still avoiding Haley like the plague. Lucas and Broke had some big blowout that resulted in the brunette wallowing all weekend, and as of the previous night, Haley and Brooke were at odds as well. God only knows what their tiff had been about. If she didn't love them all so much, she would be tempted to lock them all in a room together and just see who came out alive. But she wouldn't resort to that just yet. Right now, she just wanted her two best friends speaking to each other again, and since their tiff was the easiest to fix, her mission for the day was operation Brooke and Haley. She didn't even want to face the drama that they had created with the Scott boys, even she wasn't crazy enough to take on that challenge. Sighing as she saw Brooke walking into school, she walked over and prepared herself for a very long day. She just should have worn a black and white striped shirt and painted "Referee" on it. That might get their attention.

Brooke Davis saw her best friend approaching, and silently wished that she had just ditched school for the day. Seeing Lucas would be bad enough, she didn't want to explain the whole thing to Peyton as well. And then there was the case of Tutorgirl. Turns out this whole mess was her doing. Trust Haley and her big mouth to ruin everything. But Brooke knew she couldn't entirely blame her friend for this one. She had run away, and now she had to face the consequences. She just had to figure out a way to make Lucas understand that she was serious this time- that she was going to fight for him. She had never been put in this position before; she had never been the one that had to risk it all for love. But there was a first for everything, and she finally realized that Lucas Scott was worth the risk. Now she had to convince him of the same thing, and she knew it wasn't going to be easy. She had seen the look on his face, and it mirrored her own from long ago when she had found out about his betrayal. Nothing hurt her more than knowing she had hurt him, but she was going to find a way to prove that she was worth the risk as well. In the meantime though, she just hoped that she would be able to see him and not breakdown. If only fate would be that kind to her. But as she saw him walk into her English class, she knew that it would not be the case. Feeling Peyton's arm link around hers she just sighed, and held onto her friend for strength.

Nathan Scott just wasn't in the mood to deal with anything, let alone his wife. He didn't even have to turn around to know that she had walked into the room, and he silently cursed knowing that even though he couldn't stand her right now, she was still a part of him. He had been avoiding her for more than a week now, and he wasn't quite sure how much longer he could go on. She wasn't trying to talk to him anymore, and he couldn't figure out if he was happy or disturbed by that fact. Part of him wished that she would have just stayed away. He was finally getting back on track, finally able to breathe without her, and then she returned and left him gasping for air once again. At least he and Lucas were back on good terms and he had someone in his corner. He had been so caught up in his own marital problems that he had forgotten how good it felt to have Luke around. He was really thankful that Whitey had taken his suggestion and asked Lucas to be the team manager. As he watched his wife try and bug Lucas, he couldn't help but dread the rest of the day. If Haley wasn't torturing him enough just being there, she was certainly throwing his libido into overdrive at practice. Damn Brooke and Peyton for making her be a cheerleader. That was just one more distraction that his poor heart didn't need.

Haley could feel the eyes on her back, and seriously wished that the earth would swallow her whole right now. First her husband hated her and now one of her best friends did as well, could Mondays get any worse. After Brooke and Lucas's fight, she had also had an encounter with Miss Davis. To make a bad situation worse, she realized that it was her words that had ignited the fire between Brooke and Lucas. Pride had gotten in the way, and now her strongest ally was no longer speaking to her. And, looking at her best friend, his broody behavior at the max, she was sure he wasn't that eager to talk to her either. She just wondered when it had gotten so complicated. A little over a year ago, it had been just her and Lucas, laughing at all the drama that seemed to follow the popular crowd. Now she was right in the thick of the drama, part of the elite, wondering what made everything change. But a sideways glance, answered all of her questions. Nathan Scott, he had made her change, he had made her his wife. And what did she give him in return? Some bad memories and a broken heart- a heart she desperately wished that she could fix, but had no idea how. He was in all of her thoughts, in her dreams and a part of everything she did. She just had to find a way to make him once again realize that. As she heard Brooke sigh from a few rows back, she quickly discarded her thoughts of Nathan and instead turned to try and talk to Brooke again, hoping that maybe she could undo some of the damage she had caused.

Lucas hated the looks of pity that everyone was shooting him. He knew Tree Hill was small, but he did not realize that everyone would know the reason for his prolonged absence. He hated that everyone knew that he had a heart condition, and he hated being the center of the gossip. He hated knowing that nothing would ever be the same. He just hated feeling weak, and that was exactly what he was feeling right now, weakness. He saw Brooke enter the classroom, and couldn't contain the dull ache in his chest, one that wasn't from the heart defect. This was another type of heart problem, one that no medicine would fix. He didn't think seeing her would be this hard, he didn't think she would be this hard to resist. After their confrontation, he had closed himself off to the world, only letting Nathan know what had happened. Now, facing her, he would have to put up the wall that he had carefully constructed. He wasn't going to let her back in this easy. He was going to make sure that she was going to stay this time. His heart just couldn't take it if she walked away again. So he was going to make her work for it and make her prove that she was the girl for him. And if she wasn't, then he would have to get used to a life without Brooke Davis in it.

* * *

_Was it wasted words and did they mean a thing  
And all our precious time but I still feel so in between_

Peyton sighed as she walked into the cafeteria and sat down at the table containing her two best friends, feeling the tension between the two before she even sat down.

"Would one of you care to explain why you two are not talking?" Peyton asked. From what she gathered, their fight had something to do with Brooke and Lucas, but she wasn't quite sure what.

"Well, Tutorgirl here is the one with the big mouth, so maybe she would like to tell you. Seems she has no problem telling secrets," Brooke sarcastically remarked.

"Well maybe Brooke shouldn't have tried to lie in the first place, and then I wouldn't have accidentally told Lucas something she didn't want him to know." Haley bit back as she stole a French fry off of Brooke's plate and received a look of death in return.

"Ugh, you should have just kept your big mouth shut."

"And you shouldn't have kept that from him."

"Well, I'm not the only one that's ever made a mistake now am I, Ha-ley?" Brooke smirked, emphasizing Haley's name and getting a hurt look from her friend.

"No, but at least I admit I was in the wrong, you just think that everything should instantly work out because you want it to."

Brooke opened her mouth to reply, but instead found it covered by Peyton, who did not look so happy at the situation.

"Enough! That's it both of you. Now, fix this right this instant, because I am sick and tired of all the drama. Neither of you even _think_ about talking to me until you have made up. Now, I am going to sit at a table that is not full of drama queens." And with that Peyton grabbed her things and walked away leaving her friends speechless.

"Sorry I told Lucas you ran away."

"Sorry I acted like a bitch."

The two called a truce and hugged, knowing that fighting with each other was the least of their problems.

Both girls looked over to the table that Peyton had just joined and watched as she jokingly hit both Scott boys on the back of their heads, and watched as the trio began to laugh.

Neither girl could hide the look of jealousy that crossed over their features as they watched Peyton cozy up to two of her ex-boyfriends without a care in the world. And neither girl could hide the hurt that came with knowing that they alone were responsible for the huge rift between the group, and that they were the reasons that the boys they wanted didn't want them back.

"Peyton, what the hell was that for?" Both boys laughed simultaneously after she hit them across the back of their heads and sat down like she didn't have a care in the world.

"Because I am sick of dealing with all the drama, and I don't like when my two best friends are all mopey."

"Well maybe they should have just stayed where they were, and not have come back." Luke replied, still wounded from the whole Brooke situation.

"Come on, you don't really mean that. Besides, I came over here to get away from the drama, not start more, so just continue on whatever you were doing before I got here."

"Sorry, Peyt. We were just about to go see Whitey, he said he wanted to see us before practice." Luke replied.

"Wait, you're still on the team? I thought you couldn't play?"

Peyton immediately regretted saying that when she saw the look of hurt flash on Luke's face, but was thankful when he just seemed to ignore her insensitive remark.

"No, I'm the manager now, and I'm still the co-captain, and we gotta go meet with him. So I guess we'll see you at practice."

"Bye guys." Wow practice was sure going to be lots of fun, Peyton sighed as she flipped open her art book and started sketching, content that maybe her sketches would help clear her mind. Because right now, the idea of locking them all in a closet together was getting more tempting by the moment.

* * *

_Some day I just keep pretending  
That you'll say dreaming of a different ending_

"Well at least I don't have to see Lucas at practice," Brooke whined as she and Haley walked into the gym.

"Brooke, I wouldn't be so sure of that," Haley pointed out as she pointed to Lucas who seemed more than a little distracted by a certain red-headed cheerleader that everyone despised.

"Could we just slit my wrists now, I mean her, why does he have to be by her," Brooke choked out, about the break out into tears at the sight of Rachel and Lucas laughing like they were old pals.

Haley just put her arm around the brunette and sighed, "Well look on the bright side, at least its not your husband that can't stand the sight of you." And at that moment her eyes caught Nathan's but he simply just turned to talk to Whitey.

Her attempt at humor did nothing to cheer up the brunette, but she wrapped a sympathetic arm around Haley in return.

"Its gonna get better, right?"

Haley just shrugged in return, and both girls went and changed for the practice that they were both dreading.

Lucas had to fight to keep his concentration on the game, and away from the cheerleaders that were stretching nearby. He discretely looked over and noticed that Brooke wasn't quite so Cheery today, and he tried to ignore the pang of guilt he felt for knowing that he was the reason for her heartache. He kept having to remind himself that she was the reason for his heartache as well, so payback was only fair.

Besides, one look at his brother and Lucas could tell that he wasn't the only one being driven crazy by a woman.

* * *

Basketball practice had ended after the cheerleaders and Lucas silently thanked the Gods that he didn't have to see any of them right now. He just wanted to go home and forget that this day existed. But, he wasn't quite so lucky, because he heard his name from behind, and he would know that voice from anywhere.

"Lucas, please wait."

He was half tempted to just keep walking, pretending that he didn't hear her or wasn't paying attention, but then she used his nickname, and his heartstrings pulled him back.

"Broody, please"

"What do you want Brooke," he said, careful not to use the nickname that rested at the tip of his tongue. He had to keep her at arms length or else he would never be able to get on without her.

"I don't want things to be like this"

"Well, I'm not the one who did this am I?" He asked, careful to mask the hurt with anger.

"No, I am'" she whispered. "Lucas I blame myself for this ok, it was my mistake, one I wish I could take back, but I can't and now I'm just trying to fix it."

"Well I don't know if we are something that can be fixed."

"Well, I'm still going to try. Come on, we can't go on like this all year, you mean too much to me."

"Oh, so now, I mean something to you?" He taunted.

"You always meant something to me Luke, even when I tried to deny it."

He was going to try and say another smart remark, something to hurt her, but one look into her eyes, and the mean thoughts left. He could see that she was really trying, but he just wasn't ready to let her back in.

"Look, I know that things are weird between us, but I meant what I said about to proving that I'm the girl for you. And I just want us to be friends, not like we were before, but just not fighting like this. Please."

He wanted to say no, he wanted to tell her just to go to hell or California or somewhere equally far, but he just couldn't make the words come out. Here she was asking for the same thing that he had asked of her so long ago, and he didn't have the heart to deny her request.

Brooke nervously waited for his reply. If she could at least get him to be friends with her then all hope was not lost, and if he refused… well, she just hoped that he would at least let her back into his life a little bit.

"Ok"

One little word had never sounded so good to her, and on impulse she launched into his arms.

He tried to stiffen as she wrapped her arms around him and he tried not to be affected by her vanilla-strawberry scent, but having her in his arms felt so good even if it was just for a second, and his body betrayed his mind.

She pulled back quickly, almost awkwardly, still not quite used to being around him without actually being near him. He still seemed distant, and rightfully so, but she couldn't help that think that she had made some progress. At least now, he wouldn't give her the silent treatment and stalk away. At least this way, she had some chance, and that was all the hope she needed.

"Thanks, Luke. I gotta go, I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah tomorrow." She replied as she turned and walked away. He couldn't help but smile a little as he thought about it. This was going to work. He could be her friend and not want to be her boyfriend again, right. He wasn't so sure, but he was going to try. After all she had been the one to break his heart, and now he just had to work to keep the wall up around the rebuilt pieces.

"Bye, friend" he heard her call in the distance, and a little piece of that wall began to crumble.

_I keep telling myself things can turn around with time  
And if I wait it out you could always change your mind  
Like a fairy tale where it works out in the end  
Can I close my eyes have you lying here again_

_

* * *

_

The song lyrics were from Lindsay Lohan, _Something That I Never Had_. Don't forget to tell me what you think.


	14. Right Here

Hey guys, I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. Blame it on photoshop, and the fact that I have decided that I love making banners. Anyway, here is the next chapter, and I hope you like it. It turned out to be one of my favorites so far. And if you do like it, leave me a review, it really motivates me to know what everyone thinks of the story. Alright, I'll quit talking and let ya'll read it. And as always, I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters, but oh how I wish I did….

**Chapter 14 – Right Here**

_I know I've been mistaken  
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made  
I've got some imperfections  
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face  
_

The rhythmic bounce of the ball on the pavement never failed to ease his mind. Basketball was like that, therapy in a way. Here it all made sense, or it used to. Now, even basketball didn't make sense to him, and he hated that more than any other aspect of the disease he had inherited.

He sighed as he released, and watched as the ball sailed effortlessly through the air, and go perfectly through the hoop. He knew that any number of people would kill him if they saw him on the court, ball in hand, but right now, the ball was the only thing that was keeping him sane.

'_If only it were that simple.'_ He thought as he watched another perfect shot glide through the hoop. He had come to the Rivercourt in hopes to get away, and escape everyone's sympathetic looks and worried glances. In the last week since he had returned to school, his mother had barely let him out of her sight, and Nathan was practically glued to his side at every moment. Lucas smiled slightly, as he thought about Nathan's constant worry-wart behavior. He swore that one night Nathan was going to actually try and tuck him into bed and sing him a lullaby. It did feel nice to have his brother back though, so he couldn't really complain about his over-protective behavior.

The only one that had treated him semi-normal was Brooke. When he looked into her eyes, he didn't see the pity he saw in others', instead he just saw understanding. But leave it to Brooke to constantly surprise him and understand. Things had gotten better between the two in the last week. They were still trying out their new friendship, and he hated to admit it, but he had missed her just being in his life. They were nowhere near as close to what they had been, but they had also managed to get past the awkwardness that had settled around them. The only time things got a little tense, was whenever Rachel was around, but he guessed that was just catty girl stuff.

He tried to block out all the thoughts of everything from his heart condition to his love life, and instead attempted to savor the few interrupted minutes he had with his first love, basketball.

He also tried to ignore the slight pain in his chest every time he let the ball fly through the air, and just concentrate on his game, or what little he had left of it. The chest pain was just another friendly reminder that everything was going to be different from now on.

He was so engrossed by his thoughts and the game that he didn't hear the car pull up, and didn't notice the person get out of the car and stomp onto the court. He did notice however, when he heard her scream his name.

"Lucas Eugene Scott! Put that ball down right now or so help me god I will kick your Broody ass!"

He nearly had a heart attack right there from her outburst, as the ball went flying wildly after she nearly scared the hell out of him. He knew that tone of voice and he knew that he was in trouble. She was probably the worst person to catch him playing, and he was not eager to face the blazing eyes of Brooke Davis, or her world famous temper for that matter.

Slowly turning around, he would have laughed at the sight of her if she didn't seriously look like she was going to kick his ass, just as she had promised. She was standing on the asphalt court tapping her foot, hands on her hips, sporting a look that would make even the most fearless man quiver in terror.

"Hi Brooke," he muttered weakly, a look of pure guilt spread across his face.

"Don't you "Hi Brooke" me, you jackass. What the hell are you doing out here alone playing basketball of all things," she yelled, trying to mask her concern for his health with the anger she felt towards him for putting himself in harms way again.

"I just am. It's none of your business." He spat, a little more harshly than intended.

"It is my business, Luke. Contrary to what you believe, I do care about you. Why else would I be standing in the middle of a basketball court screeching at the top of my lungs?" she asked, the tone in her voice not faltering.

"I just wanted to prove that I still had it, because I know that I have to give it up," He replied, much calmer this time, his face revealing how hard it was for him to have this thing taken away from him.

Her face instantly softened at his words, and she felt so bad for what he was going through. She had to remember that he wasn't just dealing with their falling out; he had so many other issues to deal with as well. And in typical Lucas fashion, he was keeping it all inside.

"Oh Luke" she replied as she wrapped her arms around him, and then took his hand and lead him over to the picnic table by the court.

He was silent for a few moments, and she just sat there noticing that their hands were still loosely entwined and he wasn't pulling away from her touch this time. She hoped he would open up eventually, but she had learned from past experience not to push him. So she just sat there with him until his voice kinda startled her when he finally did start talking again.

"You know, Keith gave me my first basketball when I was four. He used to take me here when I was little and show me how to play. I loved that when I was a little kid, it made me feel like I had a real dad, even if it was only for a few hours." Lucas said, talking more to himself than he was to her, but at least he was talking.

Brooke just stayed silent, knowing that he just needed to let out all of his thoughts. She was just glad that he had opened up to someone, and she was even more grateful that it was her. She really didn't think that he would let her get this close to him again, and she was glad that at least some of his walls were coming down.

"I love this game Brooke, just everything about it. When I play, everything else just melts away, and I'm just one with the ball. I'm at peace. Basketball has always been the one thing that has defined me. Without it, I'm not quite sure what to do anymore."

"Lucas, Basketball isn't all you are. You are so much more than that, and you need to see that. You're amazing with all the books you read and the music you listen to. All of that defines you as well and also what kind of friend you are. What kind of brother you are. Those things define you too." She could see how amazing he was, why couldn't he?

She could tell that he wasn't paying attention, his face had this far off look that extended way beyond his normal broody state.

"Ugh, I hate this. All of this!" He suddenly growled, frustrated with everything life had thrown at him, and started pacing.

"I hate that Dan was the one who passed this disease on to me, that this was the one thing he actually gave me. He hated me for most of my life, and then I inherit his heart condition, that is so unfair. I hate that everyone thinks that I am going to break, that everybody looks at me with pity in their eyes. It makes me feel weak. I just hate being weak," He choked out, barely able to hold onto his emotions.

He was silent once again, as he regained his composure and sat back down next to Brooke on the bench.

His voice was barely a whisper when he began to speak again.

"I have to have surgery."

Brooke could feel the terror run through her veins as she heard those words and struggled to keep the tears from spilling down her face. _'Surgery, he couldn't be that sick, could he?_' All she wanted to do was hug him and never let him go again, afraid she wouldn't get to anymore.

"Surgery," she squeaked out. "Lucas, are you going to be okay? Why do you have to have it? When is it? Why didn't you tell me before? Why didn't someone tell me? Where are you having it? What did your mom say?" She rambled, her silent understanding going out the window as she began her normal nervous behavior.

Despite the seriousness of the conversation they were having, Lucas couldn't help but laugh at Brooke. He didn't think she was going to be able to stay quiet for too long, and decided he better try and answer her questions one by one.

"Brooke, slow down," He said as he grabbed her hand in an attempt to calm her down.

"Look, I haven't told anyone about it, not even Nathan. I don't want everyone to be even more worried about me than they already are. Please, Brooke don't tell anyone."

She was still trying to process the fact that something could happen to him, and she had missed her chance. Then she realized that she was the only person he planned on telling, and she was just glad that he was starting to trust her again little by little.

"When is it?"

"I have to have surgery in two weeks to correct the damage I did to my heart after my collapse. If they don't do it, then I run the risk of having a major heart attack."

"And if they do the surgery?"

"Then I should be able to live a normal life. I can't play basketball or any other sport competitively, but I may be able to play for fun." He tried to answer as calmly as possible. He wasn't going to let himself get upset, it would only upset the brunette beside him even more.

"Is it risky?"

He sighed before answering that specific question. It was a bit of a risky procedure, but like any other surgery, there were always risks, and something could always go wrong. But he didn't want to think about that, and he didn't want her to worry anymore than she already was.

"A little."

"Are you scared?"

He wanted to just say no, and pretend that he was fine, part of him just wanted to do what he always did and keep it all inside. But there she was, asking him questions that he would never honestly answer to anyone else, and all he could do was tell her the truth.

"_Terrified."_ He answered as she leaned in closer and just hugged him, careful not to let him see the tears that were leaking out of her eyes. She just held him tighter as he continued to pour out his heart to her.

"I mean, I'm supposed to be looking at colleges, not figuring out which hospitals have the best surgeons. And I hate hospitals, and something could go wrong. And there is a slight possibility that they may not be able to repair all of the damage." And this time he couldn't hold back his emotions, and he let a tear run down his check.

Brooke leaned back to look him in the eye, and gently wiped the tear off of his face. It will be ok Luke. I'm here for you" she whispered.

He couldn't help but look into her eyes and see the truth in her words. Brooke was setting out to prove that she wasn't going anywhere this time, and she was doing a good job of it.

"I know." he whispered back, and hugged her with all of his might, not wanting to break the contact with her quite yet.

_But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting  
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting  
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting  
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting_

* * *

_I've made a commitment  
I'm willing to bleed for you  
I needed fulfillment  
I found what I need in you_

Haley cringed as she walked up to the Scott residence. This house literally gave her the creeps, but she would risk it in order to talk to her husband. He was avoiding her at all costs, and she was going to put an end to this once and for all. She had a sinking feeling that this conversation was not going to be pleasant, but she had to get it out of the way. Maybe if Nathan could see that she was truly sorry, then he would begin to forgive her.

Haley knew that she loved him with all of her heart, but she also knew that she had hurt him, and now she had to accept the consequences, and hope to start slowly building a relationship with her husband again.

As she knocked on the door, she seriously contemplated turning around and forgetting her whole purpose for the trip.

She felt relief spread across her face as she saw Nathan open the door and not he-who-shall-not-be-named. This feeling was short lived, however, when she noticed that he was not happy to see her.

"Nathan don't shut the door in my face" she said as he made the movement to shut her out of his life both literally and figuratively. "Please, I really want to talk to you."

He reluctantly came outside to join her, hoping to avoid another confrontation, knowing that would not be the case. He was just tired of the whole situation, and he had been avoiding her as much as he could. He couldn't deny that he still loved her, and that he still wanted her, but he also couldn't deny that a part of him still hated her. And unfortunately that part was directly linked to his ego, and therefore resulted in that emotion being expressed.

"What do you want Haley?" he asked, his tone guarded.

"I want you to talk to me. Yell, scream, whatever, just don't shut me out Nathan, please," she was basically pleading with him, and one look in her eyes, and he realized that they had to try and talk this out sometime.

Sighing, he walked to the table on the deck and sat down, trying to keep his temper in check. Hurting her on purpose wasn't working, so he guessed it was his turn to lay it out on the line, whether or not she was ready to hear it.

"I don't want the annulment. I know you didn't sign it, so I ripped it up."

Her hopes soared for a second, but his next words brought her right back down.

"I want a divorce."

"Nathan," she cried.

"Look, our marriage happened, and I won't pretend that it didn't but right now I can't be married to you. We have a year, if we don't work it out then we get the divorce."

"Nathan, I don't want a divorce, I just want us to be together again."

"I don't know if that can happen, Haley," he said, trying to hide just how much this was hurting him.

"Nathan, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left, it was a mistake, but I am trying to make it up to you, I'm trying to prove that you were always in my heart, that there was no one else."

"What about Chris?" He spat, the name alone making him want to pound on the skinny little punk.

"He wasn't in my heart, Chris was just a confused kiss, something that I regretted instantly. He was just a big mistake," she choked.

"Then why did you take off your ring and tell me that it was all happening too fast?"

Haley didn't have an answer to give him, and the tears just wouldn't stop coming. The truth was she had been scared, and she had run away, and she didn't know how to fix all the problems so she just continued to run, to block it all out.

"Because I didn't deserve to wear it," she answered finally, pulling the ring out from under her shirt, revealing the memento to him.

He was stunned that she had done the exact same thing as he had with her wedding ring, but he wasn't ready to admit to her that he hadn't quite given up either.

"But I loved you, _I still love you,_ I just want another chance Nathan please, let me prove to you that you are it for me."

"Haley, those are all just words. Do you even realize what you put me through. Do you realize what your leaving _really_ did to me. You were all I had, and you walked away. You were my wife, not just another girlfriend, but my wife. You promised me forever and you left the first opportunity that you had. Do you realize how much that hurt, and what that did to me. _You broke my heart._ You realize you made a mistake, well good for you, but I don't know if I can let you in again. Not like that. I made you my whole world, and you ripped that world apart with one decision."

"Nathan" she sobbed.

"No let me finish"

He knew he was hurting her, but she had to know, she had to understand exactly what she had reduced him to, and how much power he had let her have over his life. Because if she knew, then maybe she could understand why this wasn't as easy as a simple "_I'm sorry_."

"I was a mess; I nearly died for crying out loud." He yelled his tone more emotional than he wanted it to be.

She winced at his words, but just let him continue.

"The day I hit the wall, I couldn't see anything but the pain that you caused me. All I could see was our life together, and nothing else, nothing else mattered to me. I hit rock, bottom, and had to slowly pull myself back up. I had to do that by myself, Haley, no one was there to help me. And you know what, I did. I could finally go on without you, it hurt like hell, but I was making it." He paused.

"Then you came back, and ripped my world apart again. Haley I just don't know if I have anymore left for you to rip to pieces."

"Nathan, I'm sorry. I mean it. I'm so sorry. Its more than words," she cried. "If I could take away my love for music, and my talent in order to just be happy with you, I would do it in a heartbeat. I would take back every single moment on that tour just to be with you. What I did was horrible, but we were so young, we still are, and I made the biggest mistake of my life. You are more important to me than anything else and I will do anything I can to prove that to you."

He wanted so badly to believe her, so badly to go back to her, and make the last six months into a distant memory, but he couldn't do it. Not just yet, he still hadn't recovered from the last time yet, and he couldn't let her back in until he stopped hating her for leaving in the first place.

"I can't. Haley I can't let you back in right now. I don't know if I want to." He said, trying still to ignore the tightening in his chest as she saw her sob, and place a hand over the ring on her neck.

"Do you think you will ever love me again?" She whispered, afraid that she had actually completely destroyed the best thing she ever had.

"Damn it Haley, its not that I don't love you. I love you too damn much sometimes, and that's why it hurts so bad, that's why I just can't let you back in yet." He yelled in frustration as he banged his hands on the table. This was all too much, he couldn't believe he had actually told her everything he felt while she was gone.

"Will you ever be able to?" Her voice was still laced with emotion, and the tears were still spilling out of her eyes. But she had to know the answer, she had to know if there was any hope. At least he admitted that he still loved her, but having him admit that he could not trust her, made her wish with all of her heart that things were different.

"I'm not sure," he said as he turned and walked away. That was all he could do, he couldn't sit there any longer and see her tears.

"Always and Forever," she replied to his slowly retreating figure. "I meant it Nathan, I always will."

And he couldn't help but think that maybe someday, they would get back to always and forever. Someday, but not today.

Why can't you just forgive me  
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way  
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting  
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

* * *

Hope you liked it. The song used in the title was from Staind, '_Right Here._' Now tell me what you think.


	15. I Shall Believe

Hey guys, sorry this didn't get up earlier, but hey, life gets in the way. I didn't get as many reviews in the last chapter, and I hope that all of you are still liking this story. Tell me what you think, your reviews really inspire to me go on. And I must say thanks to lac-18 because her reviews really gave me a great idea for this chapter. So thanks for all the reviews, I love them all.

On with the story….

**Chapter 15- I Shall Believe**

_I'm broken in two  
And I know you're on to me  
That I only come home  
When I'm so all alone  
But I do believe_

"Scott men are so predictable. If you have a problem, anyone can find you here."

Peyton smiled as she approached the boy on the court. She could tell immediately from his stance that he was frustrated, and after speaking to her best friend she knew exactly why. And that was the precise reason that she ventured onto the court to see if maybe she could talk some sense into that thick Scott skull of his.

He didn't turn around. Mainly he wanted to piss her off, but the other part just didn't want to talk about it, and he knew that if he turned around, she would drag it out of him. Hell, she was probably the only girl around that wasn't the least bit intimidated by the Scott temper he was so famous for.

"What do you want Peyt?"

"I want you to talk to me," She replied to the back of his head, unfazed by the fact that he still hadn't turned around.

"I thought you were sick of all of us and our love lives," He mocked. Maybe if he pissed her off enough, she would just go away and let him wallow.

"I am sick of all of your drama, but it doesn't mean I don't care about you all. And I just want things to go back to how they should be."

"And how is that?" He asked again, his tone still mocking.

"Well you giving your WIFE another chance, would be a great start." She mocked right back. If he was going to be an ass, she was just gonna have to be a bitch right back to him. It always worked.

And with that, Nathan whipped around, eyes blazing, ready to vent his frustrations to the one person who could always get him to open up. And, unknowingly, he walked right into an argument that Peyton Sawyer was more than prepared to win.

"I can't do that, and it's none of your damn business." He spat, anger radiating off of every inch of his body.

"It is my damn business Nathan. I just left one of my best friends crying her eyes out because her husband basically told her that she was the worst person to ever walk the face of the earth. So excuse me if I feel a little more than entitled to have an opinion in this situation."

"So you saw her, she told you what happened?" He asked, his tone slightly softening at the mention of the pain he had previously caused Haley.

"Yes, I talked to her. But she's not the only one I'm worried about Nathan. I know this is hurting you just as much, but you can't be that vindictive guy anymore, not to Haley. It's just hurting you both in the end." She said as she walked over to the picnic table and hopped onto it. He sighed and followed her, coming to rest right beside her.

"I just don't know how to let her back in Pey."

She sighed and grabbed his hand, happy that at least he wasn't screaming at her anymore.

"I mean, do you know how it feels to have the one person you love most in the world walk out on you?"

He voice was slightly hesitant, and her voice barely audible as she whispered the answer, "Yes."

"Oh Peyt, shit, I'm a dick. You miss Jake don't you?" He asked.

He should have known better than to ask Peyton if she knew how it felt to have someone leave. She had more than her fair share of loss. Maybe that's why he could open up to her, she actually did know what he was going through.

"More than you could ever know. But I know that he had to go and chase after Jenny, and he had to leave to do what was best for him." It felt good to actually talk about Jake, she had held it all in for so long, and it was nice to have someone to relate to.

"Would you welcome him back with open arms if he just showed back up here?" Nathan asked, somehow needing to know what she would so if the one person who left her came back.

"In a split-second." She answered without a moment's hesitation.

"Look Nathan, he left and it hurt, but he did what he needed to do for himself, and maybe in some way, that's what Haley had to do too."

She waited for the explosion at the mention of Haley's name, but it never came. Instead, he looked at her and asked in a voice that made him seem so innocent.

"Why couldn't I have just been enough?"

She just hugged him, and tried to figure out what to say to him that would make him realize why Haley actually left in the first place.

"Nathan, I think you were enough, but I think she had to figure out who she was outside of the image that she created with you to know that you were truly meant for each other."

"So that's it, I should just forget that she nearly ripped out my heart, and pick up where we left off?" He asked, his voice lacking hostility, but instead having an empty quality to it. An emptiness that only Haley could fill.

"That's not what I'm saying, but I do think that you should actually give her a chance to prove that she is in it for good this time."

"And what if she's not." He asked. It was the question that had been plaguing him for months. '_What if Haley really wasn't in it for good this time?'_

"Nathan, do you remember that drawing I gave you, "Sometimes they come back" well she did, and I think that's all the proof that you need."

"And what if I say that's not enough?"

Peyton smiled slightly as she pulled out a cd and handed it to Nathan. She knew him well enough to know that he would need some sort of proof. He was after all a Scott, and they had to be the most stubborn people in the world. She was so glad that Brooke had told her a little secret and just hoped that Haley wouldn't be too mad when she found out what Peyton did.

"What's this?" Nathan asked as he studied the blank cd that Peyton had just handed him.

"More proof that even though Haley wasn't with you, her heart always was." She gave him one last hug, and began to walk off; satisfied that maybe she had helped two of her friends find their way back to each other.

"Peyton" He called out as he watched her figure retreat back to her car.

"Yeah?" She asked as she turned around one more time to face him.

"I don't think that Haley's the only one who's going to come back."

She smiled as she thought of Jake and answered, "I hope your right Nathan, I hope you're right." And with that, she was gone.

After she was gone, Nathan continued to stare at the cd that Peyton had mysteriously given to him, wondering what it could have on it that would make him want to let Haley back in.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he walked to his car, turned on the engine and popped in the cd, wondering just what he would hear.

"_I've been behind on the events of the last seven days, I've been sleeping in my bed and missing you, like sometimes crazy girls do."_

The voice coming out of the speakers was undeniable. Haley, it was all Haley, and she sounded amazing.

As he listened to the words as the song continued to play he got a feeling that maybe she hadn't forgotten about him.

"_Only you baby keep me up at night, sometimes crazy's alright."_

As the song finished playing he found himself warming up to the idea of slowly letting her back in.

But as he heard her voice come on after the song, he knew what his heart was telling him to do.

"_Thanks, California. That song was written for someone I love dearly, and someone I miss twice as much."_ The sound of her voice was lost in the applause, but her words would never be forgotten by Nathan.

And sitting in his car at the Rivercourt, Nathan made a decision, and he just hoped that maybe this time everything would work out.

All he knew though was that he needed to see his wife.

_That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly you won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe_

* * *

"Brooke, if you wipe that spot on the counter any longer, I'm not going to have to use plates." Karen laughed as she walked up to the distracted brunette, who had been staring off into space, wiping the same spot for more than five minutes.

Brooke and Haley had both started helping out at the café upon their return, and Karen was happy that her girls were always around.

"Sorry Karen, I was just thinking." She replied.

"And what were you thinking about?" Karen asked as she looked at Brooke, the younger brunette searching for a way out of the conversation that was about to follow.

"It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with my son, would it?" Karen asked already knowing the answer. It was written clearly across her face, Brooke was head over heals in love with Lucas, and Karen would do anything she could to help them work things out.

"How did you know?"

"Oh, honey, a mother always know when one of her kids has something on her mind," Karen replied, as Brooke hugged her, touched that Karen referred to her as one of her children.

"He's just shutting me out, and I hate it" she said, the tears already threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Sam, could you watch the counter, Brooke and I need to talk," Karen yelled over her shoulder as she led Brooke over to the couch so they could have a proper conversation.

"Okay, what's he doing?"

"Well you know that when I left, we had some words," She said, and when Karen just nodded she continued.

"Anyway, I just left and couldn't talk to him all summer. Karen I was scared, scared that he would hurt me again. But I'm over that now, and I just want to be with him. I am in love with him, but he got mad that I stayed in California for so long, and now he has completely shut me out. Well not completely, but I just want to be with him, and I don't think he wants to be with me anymore." Brooke rambled on.

"Brooke sweetie, I love my son, but I know when he is being stubborn. He loves you too."

"Then why won't he be with me."

"Brooke, there are a lot of things that Lucas just doesn't like to face. The impact Dan had on him is one of them."

Brooke looked at Karen, confused as to what Dan had to do with her and Lucas, but she just waited and listened to what Karen had to say.

"Sweetie, he always pushes away the things that matter most to him, because he doesn't want them to walk away from him. He's watched Dan do it, and since he was little, if he thought someone he loved was going to leave him, he pushed them away first so he wouldn't have to feel the pain of being walked away from." Karen said, hoping that Brooke would understand what she was trying to say.

"And then I just made it worse by leaving him without so much as a second glance." Brooke said, finally understanding exactly why Lucas was keeping her a safe distance from his heart.

"So what do I do now?"

"Don't let him walk away. You mean so much to him Brooke, and I know that with everything he is going through right now, that he is scared. Just don't give up on him."

"He told me about the surgery," she said and saw the look of surprise cross over Karen's face.

"Well, it sounds like he is letting you back in little by little. I thought he wasn't going to tell anyone. I'm glad he did though."

"I want to be there for him. I just don't know if he would want me there." Brooke said, as she fidgeted with the rag she still had in her hand.

"I think he would, and I think it's hard for him to admit that. Just remember what I said, and don't give up on him Brooke, just give him time."

"Karen, the delivery guy has a question for you," Sam yelled from behind the counter.

"Go see about the delivery guy, Karen, and thanks." Brooke said as she watched Karen scurry behind the counter to avert whatever problem was about to take place.

Brooke returned to waiting on the few regulars that were in the café, but her thoughts were on Lucas, and the information that Karen had just shared with her.

Now she understood a little better, why he reacted the way that he did, and she was going to do just what Karen said. She was going to stand by him and give him time.

And more importantly, she wasn't going to let him push her away.

_That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
I shall believe_

* * *

The title for this chapter was 'I Shall Believe" by Sheryl Crow. Review and I will love you forever… Thanks for reading 


	16. Have a Little Faith in Me

Hey guys… I did not fall off the face of the earth as I am sure most of you suspect. I am so sorry for the lack of updates lately I promise the next update will come a lot quicker this time. Life has been hectic and I just hadn't had the inspiration. I just wanted to thank everyone who has stuck by this story and everyone who has reviewed faithfully to all or most of the chapters especially **Sam, Amanda, l-a-c-18, othretard, lucasscottlover1, elin2002, come on sweet catastrophe, jaysheartsdesire, laura369, roryandtristanforever, luvangel448, jess4491, beachiegal, brucas03**, **ahmina,** and everyone else that has left a review. I am so sorry if I forgot you, but I love that you are reading. Keep the reviews coming, and I promise to write faster. And lastly Amanda this chapter is for you, even though you are partially responsible for distracting me from writing..lol. This one is a good one; let me know what you think.

And now I will shut up and let you get on with the chapter.

**Chapter 16- Have a Little Faith in Me**

_When the road gets dark  
And you can no longer see  
Just let my love throw a spark  
And have a little faith in me_

Nathan steered the car to the place that he once called home. He had no idea what he was going to say to her, what they were going to do, but Peyton had kicked his ass into gear and he knew that letting Haley go completely would probably be the biggest mistake of his life. Even bigger of a mistake then her leaving had been in the first place.

_Crazy Girls_ played in the background, and every time that song started over, the urge to see Haley got even stronger. Part of him was mad, how could she tell the whole world how she felt about him, but not have the courage to tell him, to let him know that there was no one else.

Deep down he knew that it had never been about Chris Keller, but his ego made him believe that she left for someone else, and not simply because it was something that she needed to do. Now he knew that she had left for the music but she had still left, and he needed to be sure that wasn't going to happen again. Only then could he even begin to think about letting her back into his heart.

As he climbed the stairs to their former apartment, he couldn't help but be assaulted by all the memories that came with being in this place. This was the place where he had first discovered her tattoo, when he realized that he was in love with her. It was the place where he carried her over the threshold as his virgin-bride, and the place where they had made love for the first time. As he reached up to knock on the door, the memories continued to haunt him. The love, the fights, the make-ups, everything good and bad in their relationship had taken place within those walls. He remembered the times she would sing to him, the time they made love on the balcony, and lastly he remembered the night that she left him. That memory was freshest of all.

He also remembered the person he became after she left, and he did not want to become that person ever again. And that was the person he feared he would become if he didn't let her back into his life, at least a little bit.

He knocked on the door, and waited, waited to see exactly what would happen between them when they came face to face this time.

Haley woke up to the sound of banging on their apartment door. She figured that maybe Brooke left her keys, or that Peyton had come back over. Mumbling as she got up, clad only in a camisole and shorts, she opened the door not really looking at the person standing before her. But when she finally looked up to see which of her friends was there, she was shocked to see her husband, holding what looked to be a CD in his hands.

"Nathan, what…what are you doing here?" she stuttered, feeling slightly self-conscious under his gaze.

"Did you really mean everything you said on this CD?" He asked as he waved the cd around, oblivious to the fact that his wife had no idea what in the world he was talking about.

'Nathan, what are you talking about, what is this?" She asked grabbing the cd out of his hand, getting a bad feeling that she knew exactly what he was talking about. Question was, how did he get it, and why was he here?

Ignoring her, he just kept asking questions. "Did you really think of me everyday, was it really not over?"

"Nathan, where did you get that?" She asked again.

"Is that my song? How the hell did you get my song?" She yelled as the anger level in here voice rose. She was going to strangle Brooke and Peyton with her bear hands whenever she got the chance.

"Yes, it's your song, Haley. The one you supposedly wrote for me damn it. You can tell the whole world that you love me, but you can't tell me to my face." He yelled accusingly at her, his own temper getting the best of him. By this point they were standing mere inches apart, eyes blazing.

She didn't answer, only looked down, suddenly finding the carpet pattern highly entertaining.

"So I'm gonna ask you again. Did you mean the words of that song? Was it really written for me? Was it not over between us?" His tone was softer now, pleading with her to just tell him the truth.

"Of course it was written for you Nathan. There has never been anyone else to have my heart. And it will never be over for me Nathan. Always and forever, that's how long I'm going to love you." She screamed, still angry that he somehow got the song she had written for him. Her anger fueling her on, she continued to yell.

"And I could tell everyone else because it was easier and I was scared. Is that what you want to hear Nathan? I was terrified knowing that I had made a mistake, and it was easier to tell a thousand strangers that I loved you than it was to call you up and tell you myself. I knew that they would just listen, that they wouldn't yell at me or hate me, or think our marriage was a mistake. "I was…"

But she was cut off as his lips came crashing down onto hers. He silenced her in one instant, and she responded eagerly to his touch. Quickly, he had her pushed against the wall, their fury and passion getting the best of them, and soon their tongues were fighting for dominance. This kiss was so much different then the ones that they had shared during their relationship. Those kisses were tender and filled with love.

This kiss was rough and filled with lust, filled with want, and filled with longing. Both had forgotten how good they were together, and they kissed until finally the need for air outweighed their need for each other.

They pulled away breathlessly, looking at each other intensely, willing the other to be the first one to break the silence. Nathan's arms were still wrapped around Haley's waist; her hands were still tangled in his short hair, but neither made a move to break the contact.

Nathan sighed and decided that he would start the talking that they both so desperately needed to do.

"I never thought that our marriage was a mistake Haley. No matter how mad I was at you or how much you hurt me, I never thought that marrying you, that loving you was a mistake." Nathan said, the cocky self-assured tone of his voice gone, instead replaced by a soft whisper.

Haley turned to him, the tears in her eyes, "Nathan you have no idea how much I have wanted you to say that, how much I wanted you to tell me that you didn't hate me. I just wanted you to love me again."

He pulled her to him, realizing that he had been stupid to just shut her out. "I never stopped. But that doesn't erase the fact that you hurt me Haley."

She quickly pulled herself away from him, frustrated that they always seemed to be going in circles. "I know I hurt you Nathan, I know that, but I thought that maybe this time we were actually getting somewhere." She said as she started pacing, trying to keep the tears at bay for just a little longer.

Quickly realizing that she wasn't following with what he was trying to say, he moved to stand in front of her, and gently grabbed her hands to make her look at him. "Haley, Haley, look at me. Yes you hurt me, but not being with you, having you here and not being able to be with you is hurting me more. We can't go back to where we were. I'm not ready for that yet. But I do want us to start somewhere. I want us to start over."

She looked him in the eyes, and could see that he was being serious. He was giving her a chance to redeem herself, and she was going to do everything she could to prove to him that she was ready to be his wife again. They probably would never get back to the place that they were in before she left. They weren't the same people anymore, but they still loved each other, and maybe, just maybe this time it would be enough.

"I've never wanted anything more," Haley replied as she leaned up to kiss him once again. This time the kiss was not rough and anger-driven, this time it was a kiss of forgiveness and the mark of starting over.

"I know that we have a lot to work on, but let's just take it one day at a time ok."

Nathan smiled a genuine smile for what seemed like the first time in months. They still had lots of issues to work through, but the bitterness was gone, life was too short to waste on holding grudges, and he had missed her too much to punish her forever.

_And when the tears you cry  
Are all you can believe  
Just give these loving arms a try  
And have a little faith in me_

* * *

_Have a little faith in me  
When your secret heart  
Cannot speak so easily  
Come here darlin'  
From a whisper start  
To have a little faith in me_

Lucas was sitting on his bed reading when he heard a knock at the door. Getting up and going to open it, he was pleasantly surprised when he saw Brooke on the other side.

He had been giving a lot of thought to the situation he had put them in. He was still scared to let her back in, not only because of the pain her leaving had caused, but also because he was afraid that he wasn't good enough for her. Plus he had too much going on with his fragile heart condition. He was, however, glad to be her friend again, because not having her in his life at all was just not something he wanted to do again.

"Hey Broody," She chirped as she bounced through the door and sat in the middle of his bed.

"Brooke, what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Well I went by my apartment and I saw Nathan's car, so I decided that I would stay far, far away from there, because you never know with those two. I could walk into World War III or something even more disturbing. And Peyton is in one of her moody-broody artist phases, so….."

"So you had no other friends and decided I was your last resort," He teased.

"Hey, you are not my last resort, I wanted to spend time with you," she challenged. "And for your information I have plenty of other friends, just none I like as much as you." She flirted, and she was glad that he seemed to be flirting back a little.

"I have also decided that you have been even more broody than usual lately, and it is time that we had some fun." She smiled. She knew that this whole surgery thing was really bothering him, and the fact that Karen was treating him like he was five was not helping the situation at all.

Lucas smiled back, knowing that if anyone could take his mind off things it would be her.

"Oh and don't worry about your mom, I made sure she was going to be busy with both the cafe and Tric, before I devised this little plan."

"Okay Cheery," he said, a little surprised that his old nickname for her had slipped out, "Just keep it legal this time." He teased as the memories of her other "little plans" popped into his head.

"Yay," she squealed, excited that he had given into her without even a second thought. She was sure that she was going to have to work harder to get him to go with her. "Let's go," she said as she dragged him to her car.

She was making progress with him that was for sure. They were almost getting back to the way they were right before the summer started. She still wanted to be with him, she doubted that would ever change, but if friends was all he could give her, then she would be okay with that. She looked out the corner of her eye, and saw that he was looking at her. She turned away so he wouldn't see the blush that spread across her face. It was amazing to her that after everything they had put each other through, that one look from him could still make her feel things that she tried so hard to suppress.

She smiled as they pulled into the familiar parking lot of "The Blue Post" and both locked eyes, and for a moment were lost in the memory of their first date. Snapping back into reality, they grinned knowingly at each other as they got out the car and went inside.

"So Brooke, this was part of your little plan?" he teased. "I should have known you would take me to a bar."

"Well Broody, you need a little more fun in your life. Besides I know how much of a warden Momma Karen can be, and I decided that you needed a night off. Plus I haven't kicked a boy's ass in pool in a very long time, and you know how much I love beating boys at pool." She said as she sauntered to the bar and ordered them a round of drinks.

"Well Brooke, you certainly do think of everything," he said as he racked the pool balls and then accepted the drink she offered him.

"There is one kink in your plan though," he smiled, "We're both gonna be dead when my mother finds out," he laughed, knowing that Karen was going to kill them both when she found him gone.

"Well Broody, Let's just hope you've gotten better at sneaking in over the last two years," she grinned as the broke the balls and got a solid in the pocket.

"Solids" she exclaimed happily as she sank her first shot and watched the disappointed look cross Lucas's face.

Three rounds of pool and five drinks later, Brooke was beating Lucas badly.

"Come on Broody, if your not even going to make this a challenge, then why do you keep attempting to beat me," she smirked as he missed another easy shot. Expertly choosing her mark, she called her pocket and sunk the eight ball without a problem.

"I win, again," she teased.

"You're a shark, you know that right," He pouted as she once again kicked his ass at pool. He jokingly grab her hand, and making a grand gesture, said, "I bow down before the master."

"Shut up Broody," she said pushing him away playfully.

"Let's go dance."

Noticing his very uneager expression, she just grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dance floor.

They began to sway and dance to the upbeat tempo of the song on the radio, and were just joking around and having fun.

A little while later, the song changed and a slower, softer song filled the air. Brooke just grabbed Lucas closer and they started to sway together to the music.

Lucas looked at her, really looked at her while they were dancing. Here she was, after everything that he had out her through, after everything that had put each other through, and she was the one sticking by him the most. And she wasn't doing it just because she wanted to prove something. She was doing it because that's who she was, and that's how much she cared for her friends no matter how much they had put her through.

He wished that it wasn't so hard to trust someone, to give them his heart. He wished that he could just take the step, and take the chance, but not wasn't the right time, there was still so much going on. It was all to much to handle right now, _wasn't it? _In his drunken state he wasn't so sure.

"Brooke, look about what I said when we had that fight…"

"Lucas, don't worry about it, its in the past. We're friends, its cool." she said, wondering why he was bringing this up now.

They couldn't discuss this now, not in their current state, and Brooke didn't want him to say something he didn't mean, or say something he would regret when alcohol wasn't clouding his senses.

"I know, but I just wanted to…"

She looked away from him and put her finger to his mouth, urging him not to say anymore.

"Look, Lucas, let's not do this here, not now. We're having fun, we're friends, let's not open old wounds."

But that was the last thing that she really wanted to do. She really wanted to jump into his arms and let him hold her forever. But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, and she was determined not to let them make anymore mistakes.

"But.."

"Lucas, no, I'm going to call a cab and get another drink. Neither of us can drive home like this." she said as she walked off.

She needed to get away, she couldn't look in his eyes any monger or they were going to do something that they would both regret and that neither of them were ready for. That had been what had gotten them in trouble the first time around, raging hormones and a large amount of alcohol.

She was determined not to make the same mistake twice. If she and Lucas were actually going to make it this time, there had to be no demons left lurking in the shadows, nothing could be holding their hearts back this time.

Lucas watched her go, unsure of where that conversation would have led if she hadn't had the good sense to walk away. Right now he needed her as a friend, and he was glad that she hadn't let him put their friendship in jeopardy for a drunken conversation that would have probably ended badly.

Sighing, he walked off the dance floor and went and sat back at their table to wait for her return and the cab that would bring them home.

He just hoped that when she returned, all the awkwardness he had just caused would be a thing of the past.

"Come on Broody", she said as she handed him another drink. "The cab will be here soon, so drink up."

She seemed fine, so maybe they could just let their previous conversation go.

The cab ride home was quite interesting. The pair both being more than just a little drunk, were laughing and giggling like two school girls. You couldn't even tell that there had been any tension between them earlier in the night. The cab driver stopped at Lucas's house first and pulled over, waiting for him to get out.

"Now remember Luke, sneak in quietly when you get inside," she giggled.

"If I get caught Cheery, you're going down with me." He teased back.

She pouted. "That's not fair Broody, besides your mom loves me, I can tell her this was all your master plan."

"Nice try Brooke," he joked. "But mom knows that you're the one that corrupted her sweet little angel in the first place. I was a good boy before I met you," he countered, the mood still light and joking.

Brooke was loving the playful banter between them. Anything that made him smile made her happy. "Broody, you were boring before you met me, I loosened you up and made you interesting," she challenged, playfully grabbing his face and bringing it closer to hers as he pouted at her for being boring.

"The meter's still running kids," the cabby yelled from the front seat, sounding highly unamused by the teens in the back.

Brooke just rolled her eyes at the old man, and Lucas pulled away a little from her grasp.

"Brooke seriously, thank you for tonight," he attempted to say as seriously as his drunk state would allow. "I had fun, I needed this."

"Anything for you Broody, anything for you."

"Goodnight Pretty Girl," he whispered as he leaned in to give her a friendly kiss on the cheek.

Lucas didn't know what changed between them, but all of a sudden friendly little kisses were the last thing on his mind. It was probably the alcohol that they had both consumed throughout the evening, or the fact that memories of their relationship had bombarded them all night long, but as soon as he looked into her eyes, all he could think about was kissing her.

It was hard to tell who initiated the kiss, they were both sort of drawn to this other's lips, but there they were passionately kissing in the back seat of the cab. Neither was making the attempt to break away at first and Brooke deepened the kiss, letting her tongue duel with his. They were lost in each other for a couple of minutes before Lucas's brain suddenly registered exactly what they were doing.

They couldn't be doing this, they were finally being friends again, and a drunken kiss in the back of a cab was going to mess that up big time. Plus, he still wasn't ready to let her back into his heart, and this was going to confuse that.

Brooke was just lost in the sensations that kissing Lucas was creating in her drunken state, She knew they weren't ready for this but she couldn't force herself to pull away.

The moment that the ramifications of what this kiss would do to their fragile relationship made their way through Lucas's clouded brain, he pulled away. He couldn't deal with this now, not in the state he was in.

"Brooke, I'm sorry…. I shouldn't have done that. I've gotta go."

And with that he pushed open the door to the cab and stumbled towards the house, unable to look back at the girl he left behind. The girl who was just sitting in the cab, not fully processing what had actually happened between them.

All she knew was that he had kissed her and ran away, just like she had done before so many months ago.

But this time it was Brooke Davis who was sure of her feelings for the boy inside, and it was Lucas Scott who was running scared. Afraid to just have faith that what he felt for Brooke was real.

_And when your back's against the wall  
Just turn around and you will see  
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby  
Just have a little faith in me _

Have a little faith in me

* * *

The song in this chapter was _'Have a Little Faith in Me' _by Mandy Moore. Hope you liked it, and like always, reviews make me happy, so let me know what you think. 


	17. Face the Music

I am once again so sorry for the delay, I have been just a little sick. This chapter is short, but I stopped it here for a reason. The next one is a biggie. LOL, so read and review, and I will love you forever. And this chapter is for Amanda (ali-chan)- would not have a chapter if it wasn't for you.

And on with the story...

**Chapter 17- Face the Music**

Peyton Sawyer walked into Tree Hill High and immediately saw her brunette best friend looking rather dejected. As soon as she saw the familiar blonde head of Lucas Scott retreating down the hall, she realized the reason for Brooke's depressed state.

Something had been up between those two for the few days, and the rest of the group silently wondered just what it was this time. As she saw Brooke stalking over to her dramatically, she figured she was about to find out.

"P. Sawyer, my life is like a bad reality show. Please cancel me." The brunette whined and pouted as Peyton laughed and threw her arm around Brooke comfortingly.

"What is wrong with you and Lucas, now? Did you two have another kiss and run incident?" Peyton jokingly replied, inwardly grinning at her little nickname for the now routinely occurring dance Brooke and Lucas did with each other. When she looked up at Brooke, she was more than a little shocked when she saw the all-telling look on her best friend's face.

"You didn't." She half asked, hoping that maybe Brooke was just being her usual drama queen self.

"Oh, but we did." She paused waiting for the reaction.

P. Sawyer, quit laughing at me. This is so not funny." She dramatically stated, less than amused by the hysterical laughter of her blonde friend.

"I'm so glad that the drama in my life amuses you. I live to be your personal entertainment." Brooke sarcastically replied, only half joking about her last statement. Truth was, anything to make Peyton smile was worth it, even if it was at Brooke's own expense.

"So please tell me when and why this happened. _Again." _

Brooked sighed before starting the story, "Well a few nights ago, Lucas and I went out, got drunk, kissed in the back of a cab, and then he ran away. End of story."

Peyton tried unsuccessfully to hold in her giggle, but stopped when she saw the pleading look on Brooke's face as the pair began walking to their first class.

"You two are unbelievable you know that. You're never on the same page when it comes to each other." Peyton truthfully replied. The whole world could see how much the pair needed each other but one or both of them was usually too blind to see it.

"Peyton, its not me this time. I want to be with him, I'm not scared anymore."

"Then why haven't you told him?"

"I have," Brooke whispered. She continued on despite the surprised look on Peyton's face. " I told him when I first got back and he still pushed me away."

"So that's why you weren't talking a few weeks ago." Peyton said, finally putting the pieces together. She was a bit surprised that she hadn't found out any of this earlier, but at least Brooke was opening up now. "You two seemed to be getting along okay recently though."

"We were, I mean we are," Brooke corrected. "It's just that neither of us wants to be the one to bring the kiss up, and it feels like nothing has changed but suddenly everything has. Does that make any sense?"

"No, but then again you usually don't." Peyton tried to joke.

"P. Sawyer, I think with everything that is wrong in my life, I should be exempt from your smart ass comments." Brooked remarked as they rounded the corner to their classroom.

Peyton was about to give Brooke another joking reply, but their conversation was cut short by the appearance of Haley and Nathan, who were walking hand and hand down the hall. That was a site that had been missing from Tree Hill for quite a long time.

"Well, well, look who finally decided to go public with their reunion." Brooke smirked, trying to put on her usual Brooke Davis smile for everyone to see.

Over the last week, Nathan and Haley had been slowly rebuilding their shaky relationship, taking baby steps and getting closer everyday. Brooke was happy for two of her best friends, but was slightly jealous of the progress that they had made. While Nathan and Haley seemed to slowly be overcoming their problems, Brooke and Lucas only seemed to create more for themselves.

"Ha ha Brooke, very funny." Haley deadpanned. "You know I think Nathan and I are getting stared at more now than when we did when we first got married." Haley sighed. Being part of the gossip mill of Tree Hill was never fun, but the group was used to finding themselves right in the middle of gossip central.

"That's because you two are Tree Hill's very own Nick and Jessica, except with out the messy divorce," Brook rambled before she noticed that both Nathan and Haley had visibly tensed at the word divorce.

"I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was, umm…"

"What Brooke meant to say is that she's happy you guys are back on track." Peyton covered. Brooke always was sticking her foot in her mouth, especially when she was worried about something.

"So," Haley began, desperate to change the subject from anything having to do with divorce.

"Where is Lucas? I haven't seen him around lately, and he's been acting kind of funny."

"Something is going on with him." Nathan added, also noticing his brother's odd behavior.

"Did you know he won't be at the game on Friday, and Whitey's not even pissed. Plus, he won't say why. Just that he has somewhere to be."

At the mention of Lucas's odd behavior and his impending absence, Brooke immediately remembered where Lucas would be this coming Friday. He had his surgery, and he still refused to tell anyone else but her. She supposed he had confided to Whitey, but she still thought that his refusal to tell anyone else was stubborn. They were his best friends and they had a right to know. _Didn't they?_

She had considered telling them a million times, but decided not to add any more stress to their tumultuous relationship. She was snapped out of her thoughts however, when she heard them calling her name.

"Brooke, where did you go? We've been saying your name for like a minute."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You know me. My mind tends to wander sometimes." She said as she tried to brush away her earlier thoughts.

"What was the question?"

"Do you know what is going on with Lucas?" Nathan asked.

"Me?" Brooked stuttered.

"Why would I know what was going on with Lucas?" She replied nervously.

"It was just a question." Haley said as she noticed how Brooke's whole mood shifted.

"Well I have no idea. But I just remembered I have something to do for cheerleading practice. I gotta go. Se ya'll later." She hurriedly replied, more than anxious to get away from her friends and their prying glances.

Brooke Davis was horrible at lying, and this time she was lying about a secret that wasn't even hers to keep.

As she rushed away, the trio that was left behind had a sneaking suspicion that something big was going on with Lucas, and that Brooke knew exactly what it was.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Monday turned into Tuesday, Tuesday to Wednesday and soon it was Friday morning. No one had been able to figure out Lucas's secret plans or jittery behavior, and soon they had just quit asking. The other thing that bothered them was the fact that Brooke had been acting almost the same way, jumpy and nervous. She was finding more and more excuses to spend less and less time with the group. Nathan, Haley and Peyton had all seen Brooke and Lucas having hushed conversations, but the moment that anyone else approached them, they both acted like nothing was wrong. Chalking it up to relationship problems between the pair, the other three didn't realize the huge impact that this day would have on all of their friendships.

Brooke was never a morning person and never one to make an appearance at school the slightest bit early. But this morning she had a stop she needed to make before she went to school. Making an excuse to Haley why she was leaving early and had to go alone, she hurried out of their apartment and drove across town. She knew that Haley would be suspicious, but she had to talk to Lucas one last time and convince him to let them be there for him.

Knocking softly on the red door that led to his bedroom, she wondered briefly if he would be awake yet. He didn't have to be at the hospital for a couple more hours, and she hoped that she wasn't disturbing him.

"_Come in," _she heard faintly from the other side of the door, and opened it to see Lucas lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, throwing a miniature basketball repeatedly up in the air. She could tell by taking one look at him that he had not slept at all last night, and her heart went out to him.

She couldn't even imagine how hard this was for him, but she was going to be there for him every step of the way, whether he admitted that he wanted her there or not.

"Hey Broody," she whispered softly as she went over and sat gingerly on the edge of his bed.

He didn't answer, but just nodded his head in response, and she silently realized that this was going to be harder than she thought.

"Umm… I've got to go to school, but I talked to Whitey and he's going to let me skip out after lunch to come to the hospital," she nervously told him, hoping that he wouldn't tell her to go away.

"You don't have to do that Brooke, I know you guys have a big game tonight."

"I know, and against my better judgment I've put Rachel in charge. Nothing is going to stop me from making sure that you're alright." She whispered the last part as she gently grabbed his hand.

"Thank you Brooke. And could you do me a favor, make sure that my mom is alright, I know this is scaring her."

"Anything for you." She sincerely replied, and truer words had never been spoken.

"Umm…Luke, you know I 'm not the only one that would want to be there for you today." She said, already knowing what his reaction to this particular topic would be.

"Please let me tell them, They are your friends and family, they deserve to know."

"No, Brooke," he almost pleaded.

"I don't want anyone else to know. Like I said, there is a big game tonight, and they can't miss. I'll be fine."

"Lucas," she pleaded one more time.

"No."

"Fine," she said as she got up and went to the door.

"I can't change your mind, but if it was one of them lying in the hospital, wouldn't you want to be there to make sure that they were ok?"

And when he didn't respond she just silently left. Knowing that the decision she was going to make was going to have someone mad at her, but she knew that its what needed to be done in the end.

The school day had gone by painfully slow for Brooke. She had successfully avoided her friends all morning, thankful that none of them were in her first two classes. Sighing, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to avoid them much longer. She had health next period, and Whitey had put all of the basketball players and cheerleaders in the same class. She was sure that they were bound to notice that something was up when she walked in. It was time to face the music, and Brooke Davis didn't like the tune that was playing.

She slipped into class right as the bell was ringing, taking the seat closest to the front of the room, and not going to her usual spot in the back. She still needed a little more time to figure out just how to answer the questions that she knew were going to come.

As the bell rang signaling the end of class, she knew that she had simply run out of time. And, the three questioning faces in front of her confirmed just that.

"Brooke, what the hell is going on?" Nathan asked, never being the one for subtlety.

"You've been acting strange all week, and now Lucas isn't here. What is going on with you two?" Haley asked, trying to be a little more tactful than her nosy husband.

Brooke sighed and looked around to make sure that they were the only ones left in the classroom.

"Something is going on, but its not between me and Lucas. Well it does have to do with Lucas, but not with me, unless you count the fact that I know what's going on and….."

"Brooke, the point please." Peyton interrupted, knowing that her best friend could ramble on for hours.

"Lucas is sick." she replied.

"Brooke, we know that already. Is something else going on.?" Haley asked, frightened for her best friend.

The tears that Brooke had held at bay all week suddenly threatened to surface.

"He has to have surgery for his heart. It's a little risky," she paused before continuing.

"And it's today."

The shock and worry on their faces made her sure that she had dome the right thing. Nathan Haley and Peyton had the right to know what was happening to their friend.

"Why didn't he tell us?" Haley asked as she clung on to Nathan.

Lucas was her best friend and even though they weren't as close lately, she still assumed that he would tell her about something this big. But then again, he hadn't told anyone about the HCM in the first, place so his behavior really didn't surprise her.

Lucas never did want people to be burdened with his problems, and often tried to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. This time was no different. But, then again it was different because obviously he had told Brooke.

"He didn't want anyone to know, or anyone to think that he was weak or pity him. He told me not to tell you all, but I couldn't let him do it alone." Brooke choked out as she finally broke down.

"I'm going to the hospital now, if any of you want to come, I really think he wants you there, he's just to scared to say it."

The trio looked at each other, still a little bit in shock that Lucas had kept this such a secret. But in the end, the bond between them all far outweighed any hurt feelings, and all of them knew that there was nothing more important than being there for him when he needed them most. After all, he had been the one to pick up the pieces of their broken lives on more than one occasion, and it was time they did the same for him.

Grabbing Brooke's hand and leading the group out the classroom, Nathan was the one to break the silence.

"Come on, guys. He would be there in a heartbeat if it were any of us," Nathan replied.

Brooke almost smiled as she, Peyton and Haley followed Nathan out the door. Now, she just hoped that Lucas wouldn't hate her too much.

The group was almost at the door when they heard the voice of Whitey calling out to them.

"And just where is my star player and the cheerleading trio headed this lovely game day?" Whitey asked in a tone softer than normal, and even though he was sure he knew exactly where they were going, he wanted to be sure.

"To the hospital, Lucas needs us." Brooke replied, sending a pleading look to Whitey, and smiling when she saw the understanding in his eyes.

"Look coach, I know if I leave I won't be able to play tonight, but…."

"Nathan. Go." Whitey commanded.

"Family is more important than a game. We'll be fine without you. Send Lucas my best, okay." The coach replied before turning down the hall to find other students to pick on.

The four friends just looked at each other as they made their way out of the school. Some things were just more important, and Lucas was one of the most important things to all of them.


	18. If Tomorrow Never Comes

-1Hey Guys, It didn't take quite as long for an update, so I'm glad about that. I'm going to try and make sure that they come a little more frequently. I promise, but you all are wonderful for always leaving me great reviews. And now, I'm totally plugging myself here, If you haven't read my new story _It Starts With Goodbye_, go check it out and let me know what you think.

The lyrics in this chapter are from Garth Brooks, If Tomorrow Never Comes.

Now on with the story….

_**Chapter 18- If Tomorrow Never Comes**_

_If tomorrow never comes  
Will she know how much I loved her  
Did I try in every way to show her every day  
That she's my only one_

Lucas sat in the hospital room just waiting. As soon as he and Karen had walked through the double doors that led into the Tree Hill General the reality of the situation fully hit him.

Here he was, seventeen years old and having heart surgery to correct a genetic defect. There were so many thoughts floating through his mind, that he felt like he was going to go crazy. His mom had been occupied with the billing department and paperwork, so for the most part he had been left in the hospital room alone except for the random nurses that kept popping in and out.

Staring at the green walls he idly wondered why anyone would paint a room such a drab and depressing color. The whole color scheme screamed sickness and depression, and the listless color seemed to match his mood perfectly.

All of his friends routinely accused him of being Broody, and right now he was definitely living up to that nickname. It seemed that facing life-threatening surgery was enough to make him even more introspective than normal.

Truth of the matter was that he was scared shitless. He hadn't wanted to admit it to his mother, to Brooke or even to himself, but this scared him more than anything in the world.

He knew that he had kept his friend's at arms length lately, hell he'd kept Brooke even farther away, but the truth was it was a defense mechanism. With the way that his life had been going lately, it seemed that everything that he loved was being taken from him. Add that to the fact that he was officially damaged goods, and it was enough to make him never want to let anyone in again.

Truth be told, that was why he didn't tell them all and ask them, no beg them, to not let him do this alone. He was scared, terrified, and his initial reaction was to push everyone else away, so that they wouldn't have to feel half of what he was.

Staring at the emptiness of the hospital room he greatly regretted his choice now. He wanted his friends and brother there. He wanted to tell them things that, god forbid, maybe he wouldn't have the chance to later. Most of all, he wanted to tell them all just how much they meant to him, even if he still couldn't bring himself to show them most of the time.

He heard the light rasping on the door, and was grateful for the distraction. He figured that it was his mom, but was surprised when he realized that it wasn't.

"Knock, knock. Are you up for company?" He heard through the door, and watched as Brooke's familiar frame walked into his room.

She forced a weak smile as she walked in and tried to hide just how much this whole situation was affecting her nerves.

"You know Lucas, you really have to stop ending up in here, I've already managed to buy you at least one of everything at the gift shop," she attempted to joke.

"Hey Brooke. I'm glad you're here. I was starting to go crazy by myself." Lucas replied, slightly smiling at her attempt at humor.

"Look, Brooke, I'm sorry about earlier. You were just trying to help and I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"Lucas, it's ok," she answered as she nervously shifted from one foot to another.

Her nervous habit was not lost on Lucas, however, and he quickly figured out that there was something she was hiding from him. Deciding not to push her right then, he tried to continue with the light banter that usually flowed so easily between them.

"So you mean to tell me that you came to this hospital and didn't bring me a surprise. I'm shocked, Brooke Davis." he teased, the smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"Well, now that you mention it, I did bring you a surprise. It's just not one from the gift shop." She answered, figuring that she had to tell him sometime what she had done.

"Well what is it?" He curiously asked.

Instead of answering him, she walked over to the heavy brown door and swung it open. What she revealed were the three faces of Lucas's closest friends.

"Look, I know you're going to be mad at me," she immediately started rambling as she paced the hospital room. "I know you told me not to do it, but they love you Lucas, we all do, and we're your friends, and you need every one of us right now. So I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, but I--"

"Thank you," Lucas whispered as the tears almost filled up his eyes. He couldn't believe that she hadn't listened, but he was forever grateful to her. Then again, Brooke always did have the uncanny ability to know exactly what he needed, sometimes even before he did.

Brooke stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide. He wasn't mad, in fact he seemed happy that she had told them.

Lucas gestured to the trio still standing at the door, frozen, waiting for the fallout that never came. "Guys, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before. I'm so glad you're here."

That was all Haley needed to hear before she ran towards the hospital bed, dragging Nathan right along with her. She practically jumped onto the hospital bed and wrapped Lucas into a tight hug, and then pulled away and punched him on the arm, hard.

"Lucas Scott, don't you ever keep things from me again," she said as she tried to keep the hurt out of her eyes.

Nathan just looked at his brother and could see how scared he was, he didn't even have to ask. Even though in most things he and Lucas were different as night and day, deep down they thought a lot alike. They just expressed it in different ways.

They were still all a little hurt, but it wasn't something that they wouldn't get over. After all, they were the most important things to each other in the whole world, and right now they would support Lucas in any way that they could.

Brooke was the one to break the awkward silence that descended quickly over the room. "So Lucas, what time do you go?"

"In about an hour."

"Well, we'll be here waiting when you get out, man." Nathan said.

"What about the game? None of you will be able to go if you stay here."

"Lucas, you are much more important than a game." Peyton said, breaking her silence for the first time since she entered the room. "Besides, Whitey gave us his permission to be here."

Lucas just nodded, grateful that their coach hadn't given them all a hard time about leaving school and ditching the game.

"Look guys, I know that everything will turn out okay with this, but I really want to let you all know how much it means that you are all here and that you've all stood beside me, even if I haven't been the easiest thing to deal with."

"Luke, that's what family is for," Haley broke in.

"Just because we're all not related by blood, it doesn't make us any less of a family." Brooke added.

And that was the truth, they were a family in the truest sense of the word. They loved each other deeper and pushed each other further then anyone ever could. As they all silently looked around the room, they all paused for a second realizing that one part of the family was still missing.

Karen opened the door, ending the moment and saying, "Lucas the doctors said that they have to send you to prep in a few minutes." Then she looked up and realized that Lucas was not alone, and instead was surrounded by the people he needed most in the world.

Locking eyes with Brooke, she sent her a grateful look, she knew that it was her doing, and that she was the reason Lucas was surrounded by everyone he loved. Moving towards Brooke, Karen gently squeezed her hand and whispered a quick "Thank you" to the girl.

Lucas just nodded. This was it, there was no going back.

Karen walked up to her son, trying to hold her tears at bay. "I love you my boy," she whispered as she gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"I have to go clear something else with billing," Karen said as she made her way to the door, squeezing Lucas' hand one last time before she walked out the room, leaving the kids alone to say whatever they needed to say to each other.

"I'll see you guys in a few minutes. I love you Lucas," she added one more time.

"I love you too mom," he replied in voice thick with emotion. He knew it was almost time to go, but he wanted to make sure that everyone in the room knew how much they meant to him.

Peyton stepped up first and went to sit next to Lucas, pulling him into a hug.

"You're a good friend Luke," she said trying to choke back tears.

"You too Peyt."

"Now you better be ok, because I need someone else on my side when it comes to music," she joked, looking in Brooke's direction.

Lucas just laughed and pulled her tighter. "I will."

"Ok and just so you know, I care about you a lot Luke, I need you here to keep me sane with all of them."

"I know." he replied, letting her go after he placed a light kiss on her forehead.

They were so good at this now, the whole friends thing. It seemed that with time they had both realized that they were too alike to ever actually be in a relationship. Besides both of their hearts completely belonged to someone else, even if they didn't know how to admit that to those people quite yet.

"Thanks, Peyt. For everything." he said as she turned one last time and then headed out into the waiting room.

Haley walked over to him next, tears rolling down her face.

"Hey buddy, come here. Don't cry," Lucas said as he pulled her close and rested his head on top of hers. "Nothing is going to happen to me, I promise."

"I know," she replied as she tried to wipe away her tears. "But, I just got you back, I don't want to loose you again."

"Hales, you never lost me to begin with," he said as he lifted her chin so that they were eye to eye. "I promise you, we will always be in each other's lives. Always."

"I love you Lucas," she whispered as she got off of the bed, and wrapped her self in Nathan's arms.

Never being the one for sentimentalities, Nathan walked over to Lucas, and bumped fists with him, doing their brotherly handshake ritual.

"Get better soon man," he said as he and Haley made their way to the door. Pausing at the door he turned around.

"Luke…" He paused, locking eyes with his brother, silently telling him that he loved his and was worried about him, his eyes saying everything he couldn't find the words for.

"I know Nate, you too." Lucas replied, understanding the silent message. "Don't worry, I'll be fine, Little Brother." Lucas called out to his brother's retreating form.

"And then there were two," Lucas tried to joke as he looked at Brooke from across the hospital room.

She slowly made her way over to him, gingerly grabbing his hand as she sat down. There was still so much awkwardness between them, so many feelings unsaid, but right now all that mattered is that he came through this surgery alright. Everything else could wait.

"Thank you Brooke, for standing by me. I know that I've pushed you away, and I'm sorry. What you did today, it meant a lot to me."

"Anything for you." she whispered as she leaned her head against his chest.

"I just need you to do one thing for me ok?" she whispered. "I need you to get through this surgery okay, I couldn't take it if anything happened to you."

Her statement scared Lucas, but he didn't want to let on. That was what he was afraid of, not being able to be there for everyone else, not being able to keep his promise and be fine.

Pushing the thoughts away for the moment, he just pulled her close, wanting to savor the feeling of having her in his arms, just in case.

"I will Brooke, don't worry. But do me one favor too, and stick close to my mom. I know that she loves you more than anything, and.."

"Broody, you didn't even have to ask. I love your mom too," she said as she settled back against him, afraid to break the contact.

"Lucas we need to take you down now," the nurse said as she entered the room, smiling at the site of the two teenagers who obviously meant the world to each other. She went out just as quickly, giving the two one more chance to say good-bye.

"Brooke, about the kiss the other day,. About everything, look, I.." Lucas started but was cut off by Brooke.

"We'll talk about all of that later, Broody. Right now they have to fix your heart," she said, the tears now freely rolling down her cheeks.

He wanted to protest, but stopped and pulled her closer, reveling in her touch, her smell, taking a perfect picture in his mind of this moment.

Silently she leaned up and placed her lips gently on to his, kissing him with everything she had. "Just in case." she whispered as the nurses walked back in the room, and she let go of his hand.

Turning to walk out the door, no more words were said between the pair, but something told her that they would never truly be able to let go of each other, no matter how hard they tried.

* * *

It had been three hours since Lucas had been sent down to surgery and the natives were getting restless. They should have heard something by now.

Nathan and Haley were curled up in two chairs idly watching the television above them. Neither had let go of the other one since they left Lucas' room. It seemed that seeing their friend in danger had reaffirmed for them that life was to precious to waste.

Peyton was sitting a few chairs away, diligently sketching on her notepad. The drawing that was taking shape was a picture of the five of them in the hospital room with the words family written on the top. Peyton hesitated slightly before she started penciling in the figure of Jake, adding him to the group, because wherever he was, he was still a part of them all.

Karen and Brooke sat together in the corner, trying to cheer each other up and take away some of the worry that was eating them up with every passing minute.

The two were chatting about everything, and Karen was busy telling Brooke stories of Lucas when he was little. Being able to talk to Brooke was helping Karen's fragile nerves.

"… And I found Lucas and Haley two hours later curled up in the closet, still wearing their superman costumes." Karen finished, telling about some of the antics of a young Haley and Lucas.

"Family of Lucas Scott," They heard the doctor say, and immediately all five of them were up and awaiting news on Lucas's condition.

"We're his family," Karen responded, gripping onto Brooke tightly in fear as she walked up to the slightly balding man that had identified himself as Lucas' doctor.

"I need to speak to a Miss Karen Roe," the doctor said as he looked at the chart in front of him, his voice giving away nothing..

"I'm Karen," she replied, "And anything you need to tell me you can say in front of them," she said as she gestured to the four kids standing next to her.

"How is he?" Nathan asked, holding on to Haley for dear life.

" I can't tell you that son. For confidentiality purposes, I think it would be better if we spoke privately Miss Roe," the doctor said, and Brooke had to restrain herself from punching him as he led Karen over to a private room to talk.

That was never good, she thought, as every bad scenario possible flashed through her brain at once. Lucas had to be okay, nothing would ever be the same if he wasn't.

The four stared intently at the doctor and Karen, looking for any possible hint as to what Lucas's condition was, finding none form their body language.

Then fear struck all of their hearts as they clearly saw the tears running down Karen's face. They imagined the worst as she thanked the doctor and walked towards them, still obviously crying and shaking slightly.

Brooke immediately ran to Karen and hugged her as tight as possible, still not knowing whether or not Lucas was okay.

"Karen, how is he?" she asked, stating the question that they all desperately needed to know the answer to.

But all they were met with was Karen's shocked expression and the tears still running down her face.

_So tell that someone that you love  
Just what you're thinking of  
If tomorrow never comes_


	19. The Blues

Alright guys, once again this chapter took entirely way too long to get finished, but its here now, and I hope you like it. We're in the home stretch of this fic, I feel the end getting close. So, the updates will be coming more frequently, most of the rest is finished. If you leave me reviews, I will get it out faster. Reviews make me happy. Lol.

I want to dedicate this chapter to Amanda who has listened to me whine about writer's block for the whole chapter. And I also wanted to tell you about a new story that deserves some attention. It is by brookefan329, and its called "Shattered Illusions." It is hands down one of the best Brucas fics out there, and everyone should go read it.

Anyway, I still don't own them, and the lyrics and chapter title are from Switchfoot.

* * *

**Chapter 19- The Blues**

_Is this the New Year or just another night?  
Is this the new fear or just another fright?  
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?_

_Then fear struck all of their hearts as they clearly saw the tears running down Karen's face. _

_They imagined the worst as she thanked the doctor and walked towards them, still obviously crying and shaking slightly._

_Brooke immediately ran to Karen and hugged her as tight as possible, still not knowing whether or not Lucas was okay._

"_Karen, how is he?" she asked, stating the question that they all desperately needed to know the answer to._

_But all they were met with was Karen's shocked expression and the tears still running down her face._

"He's ok," she choked out in a whisper, and the four teenagers all felt the weight lifted from their shoulders. None of them would have been able to even imagine the possibility if those had been anything but happy tears falling down Karen's face.

At the mention of the news, Brooke instinctively wrapped her arms even tighter around Karen and cried her own tears of relief. For Brooke, it was easier to block out everything that was happening around her, than to let it all in. But, hearing the two little words '_he's ok' _hit her like a ton of bricks, and she was forced to realize exactly what she had stood to lose if something had happened.

In that second, her whole future flashed before her eyes - pictures of the white picket fence, the kids with his eyes and her complexion, and the man whom she always dreamed of coming home to. She was in love with him, there was not an ounce of doubt in her mind, and now she had to find out if he felt the same way, if he was willing to let her back into his heart.

"So, he's really going to be okay," she asked a second time, needing to hear the words out loud again to really believe them.

"He's going to be fine," Karen said as she wiped away her tears and rubbed the back of the sobbing girl.

Nathan, Haley and Peyton let out a collective sigh of relief, as Haley clung tightly to Nathan savoring every moment that she got to spend with her husband. This whole thing taught her that life was too short to live it anyway other than with Nathan by her side.

Peyton looked around and missed Jake more than ever; he was a big part of their family and she still couldn't believe that he wasn't here to know what was going on.

Karen spoke again, shaking the teens from their own thoughts. "There were complications during the surgery though. They… they almost lost him," Karen stuttered, the mere words virtually too much to say. "But, he'll be fine, almost a complete recovery."

"Almost?" Brooke questioned, alarmed at the fact that Lucas may not be perfectly healthy after all he had been through.

"There is still a bit of weakness in his valves, and he has to make sure that he doesn't do any strenuous activity of any kind, and especially no basketball." Karen said, trying to explain this to Brooke and the others, knowing that once Lucas learned he couldn't even participate in a friendly game at the River Court, he wasn't going to be at all happy.

"When can we see him," Nathan spoke, asking the question that they all wanted answered, knowing that they would all feel much better once they saw their friend with their own eyes.

"The doctors said that he is in recovery right now, but once he gets situated , you guys are more than welcome to visit. I would think it would be about anther hour or so," Karen said.

Nathan knew that the three girls weren't going to wait patiently, so he suggested a trip to the cafeteria to at least distract them all for a little while.

The group agreed, and Peyton slung her arm around Brooke's shoulders, noticing how tense her best friend had been, "B. Davis, you ok?"

"I will be once I see him with my own two eyes," she said as she exhaled loudly. She knew he was recovering, she had heard Karen and the doctors confirm it, but until she could touch him and see him, she wouldn't be able to calm down. Plus, she needed to know where they stood, and just hoped that he wasn't going to push her away again, especially after that kiss.

* * *

_  
It'll be a day like this one  
When the world caves in _

The next morning, Brooke snuck quietly into the hospital wanting a chance to talk to Lucas before the rest of the world intruded.

After they had gone to the cafeteria, Karen had come and told them Lucas was allowed visitors. The group rushed up to his room, and there were tears and laughter all around. The whole time, Brooke sat firmly planted at Lucas' side, but they were never able to get a resolution to the kiss they had shared before he went under. Somehow, she didn't think they needed an audience for that particular conversation. So instead, they had all sat and swapped stories, and just hung out together until the nurses had kicked them out. Brooke had wanted to stay, 'just in case' but Karen and Haley had insisted she go home and get some sleep.

She had agreed after much hesitation, and after Lucas whispered in her ear that they would have the chance to talk to tomorrow about "them." Even the word _them, _made her nervous and excited, and she couldn't help but hope that after today, all would be well in her world. So, she had left the hospital and agreed to get some rest, and then return in the morning.

Rest, of course, was the last thing on Brooke's mind as she replayed every scenario over and over again in her head. At first there was the happy scene; she would walk in, start to cry, he would call her his Pretty Girl, and tell her he loved her. Then as the night wore on, the fear began to set in. She would imagine the happy ending, but something would go drastically wrong; he would push her away, tell her he hated her, tell her that he wasn't ready and she would once again be left heart-broken at the hands of Lucas Scott. That thought sent shivers up her spine, and she had just spent the night staring up at the ceiling, praying for the morning to come. Because with the morning, came answers, and that is what she needed most.

So now here she was, willing herself to have the strength to lay it all on the line one final time. She was in love, and she was sick and tired of the games, and the waiting. Either they were meant to be or they weren't, and today she would have her answer.

Pulling her pink Juicy sweatshirt tighter around her, she stepped into the elevator and headed for his room. She was dressed more casually than usual, opting for her favorite pair of Lucky jeans and her sweatshirt, but she knew that Lucas didn't judge her by the same standards the rest of the world did. She didn't have to be 'Brooke Davis: sex goddess' around him, but she guessed that was part of the reason she fell in love with him in the first place.

Hearing the ding of the button on the elevator, she knew that it was time.

She knocked tentatively on the door, and entered upon hearing the faint okay from the other side. The room was darker than it was the day before, and a cold chill hit her when she entered. If she hadn't been so excited to see him, she would have noticed that something had changed over the last twenty-four hours.

"Hey Broody," she smiled brightly as she bounced over to his bed.

"Hey Brooke," was his reply.

She paused a moment at the use of her real name, but shaking it off, she continued. They needed to have this talk, there was no more avoiding it.

"Lucas, we need to talk about yesterday, you know, the kiss," she said quietly, the bravado missing from her voice. In front of him she was just another girl who hoped desperately that the boy she loved, returned the sentiment.

"Brooke, can we not do this today, yesterday was no big deal," he muttered.

The shock on her face said it all, this was not how this was supposed to go. She was sick of him calling the shots, she was sick of their relationship, platonic or other-wise, always being on his terms. "No," she said with exasperation, "you said you wanted to talk about this. You said you wanted to talk about us. What happened between yesterday and now, that has you avoiding it again?"

She grabbed his hand gently, "please Lucas, don't pull away, talk to me."

He looked at her, the pleading in her eyes. She was begging him not to grow distant again. He choked back the lump that was forming in his throat and willed himself to do this; to tell her what he needed to in order to protect his heart.

"_Good morning Mr. Scott," the doctor said in typical form as he entered Lucas' room. He glanced down at the charts and then at the hopeful boy in the room. _

"_Mr. Scott we have to talk about the results of the surgery. I take it your mother explained that there were complications."_

"_No sir, she didn't," Lucas said as he shot his mother a look._

"_It was nothing major, but we were not able to repair 100 of the damage to your heart."_

"_What does that mean?"_

"_It means that you still have to be careful Lucas. We are prescribing you daily medication, and you have to take it easy son. Your heart will get stronger with time, but for now, you cannot do any strenuous activity. No basketball, even if its not at the competitive level. You have to start out slow. You did some extensive damage to your heart."_

_Lucas was shocked at how nonchalant the doctor could be at delivering news that was tearing him apart. "Will it happen again, the heart attack I mean?"_

"_That's what we have hopefully repaired with the surgery. You should be able to live a perfectly normal life, and in time you will be able to exercise regularly, but you have to watch it. You must stay on the medicine and you have to know your limits."_

_Lucas just nodded, there was nothing else he could say. After everything, he still wasn't healthy. _

Lucas was brought out of his haze, and he shook his head to get the doctor's words out of his mind. He had to focus on Brooke's hand upon his, and somehow find the strength to push her away, and avoiding breaking both of there hearts in the long run.

"Brooke, I can't do this,"

"Yes, you can, I'll listen, I promise," she said.

He gently removed his hand from her grasp, "No, I can't to this," he said as he motioned between them, "I can't be in a relationship with you."

"What, why?" she squeaked, hoping she had heard him wrong.

"I just can't Brooke, it's too hard."

"Lucas, what about yesterday, what about last week. Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"Because I don't want to get hurt," he whispered.

"I won't hurt you," she said as she gently cupped his face.

He let himself revel in the sensations that her mere touch was giving him for just a moment before pulling away. "You don't know that Brooke, you can leave again, decide I'm not worth it. I don't want to do this again. I don't want to do us again."

"Lucas, this is ridiculous. Why are you doing this. I know you care about me, I've seen it in your eyes, why can't you just let me in?"

"Don't Brooke, it's over,"

All of the previous compassion and understanding left her voice at that moment. How dare he? She was not going to let him just do this, just be some scared little boy.

"Lucas, take a good hard look at what your saying," she said as she steeled her voice against his words. It was her turn to vent. She had stood by him, given him space, given him time, and he couldn't even give her a chance. She just couldn't take it anymore.

"Brooke, you don't understand. I just can't,"

"You can't or you won't? Lucas we have both made mistakes, don't sit there and look at me like you have done nothing wrong."

"You're the one who left," he said, using the same tired excuse, the one she didn't buy for a moment.

"Yes, I left, and I regretted every moment I was gone, but Lucas I was scared, I was scared of getting hurt, scared of letting you back in. And I had plenty of reasons to fear that."

He heard her words, they were the same reasons he was pushing her away right now. God, he wanted to just give in to the fantasies of happily ever after, but then his mind flashed to his heart problem, and he knew that happily ever after didn't exist.

He was damaged goods, and he couldn't hurt either her or himself by going down that path again.

"But, I realized something," she said as she continued her speech. "I realized what a big mistake I would be making if I didn't take the chance. I love you, and I'm not going to run away again, I promise."

"You don't know that Brooke, and I just can't do it. I don't want to do it," he said forcing himself to continue. "I don't want to risk it for something that's not real."

"Are you even listening to the crap your telling me," she asked, as she got increasingly angry over the situation. She was Brooke Davis, and she was not going to grovel for a man's affection, not even for Lucas.

"You're sacred, and your hiding," she said as she got close to him again, bringing their faces dangerously close to each other. Lucas knew that if she leaned forward the half-inch that was separating them, then he would give in. But, she didn't move in closer, instead just stared him down and whispered, "look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me."

He stared at her, nearly choking on the words, nearly forgetting why he was doing this. Forcing himself to believe the words he uttered he breathed out, "I don't."

She dropped her hand from his face and willed the tears not to fall. "Fine," she said as she grabbed her purse. "You want to be a stubborn jackass, then be one. I'm sick of you rejecting me when you've had something bad happen to you. You told me that people leave you, its because you force them to."

He didn't say anything, there wasn't anything he could say. Well there was, but he was too scared to utter the words that would make it all better.

"I don't want to give up on you Lucas, but if you let me get out of this door, if you let me walk away, you've only done this to yourself."

She paused, hoping that he would change his mind, knowing that he was to stubborn to ever admit that he needed other people in his life, that he needed her. This is what she had feared, she knew him, and she knew he was going to push her away, but she never figured it would be this much. She just had to walk away, he left her with no other choice.

"So, tell me now, do you love me? Or are you going to let me walk out that door; because if you do, I'm not coming back," she choked out the last words. She couldn't keep doing this to herself, she had to give up the fight, she was too tired to fight for them both anymore.

"I can't," he whispered, closing his eyes and leaning back against the pillows.

"Good-bye Lucas," he heard her whisper, and then heard the click of the door, signaling that she was gone.

He sighed, and forced himself not to feel anything. He had to protect both of their hearts, and this was the only way he knew how to do it.

_There's nothing here worth saving,  
Is no one here at all?  
Is there any net left that could break our fall?  
It'll be a day like this one …_

_When the world caves in _


	20. Why

Does everyone still remember this? I want to apologize a thousand times over for the extremely long delay in posting. I won't even try to make up excuses, because none of them are good enough. I really hope that you all still are interested, and I hope this chapter is worth the wait. We're in the home stretch now, can you feel it? Please let me know if you like it, or if your still interested, I promise the reviews make me update faster…lol

I have to say a special thanks to Cath and Amanda, I love you both. And the song title is from Jason Aldeen, and its called Why.

Now, I think you've waited long enough, on with the chapter….

**Chapter 20- Why?**

_Does it always have to come down  
To you leaving  
Before I'll say "I love you"  
Why do I always use the words  
That cut the deepest  
When I know how much it hurts you  
Oh baby why, do I do that to you_

Brooke stood in her room throwing random things into a large suitcase on her bed. Haley sat right next to it, taking things out, attempting to help, when all she was really doing was trying to unpack the things Brooke was putting in.

Haley didn't understand why Brooke had to give up now, why she had to leave now.

"Brooke I don't want you to go," Haley whined as she got up from the bed and wrapped her arms around Brooke from behind, placing her head on the brunette's shoulder. "You have to stay here."

"Haley you know I can't, they're my parents, and they want me to fly out there. I can't tell them no." Brooke replied, trying to keep her voice from breaking. It had been a horrible two days, and when her parents called summoning her to California, she didn't have anymore energy to fight them with. She knew it was cowardly, but she didn't know if she could face Lucas right now knowing that she was so in love with him, while he had no feelings for her.

"Yes you can, you just won't," Haley pouted as she sat back down on the bed and removed more items from the suitcase.

"Haley, I don't want to do this with you, not again." Brooke cried, she had been over this with Haley a thousand times since she had returned from the hospital , and she didn't think she could relive the pain once again.

"He's just being stubborn. He loves you, I know it and you know it." Haley tried to reason, she knew that Lucas loved Brooke, and she knew he was just scared and lashing out. She just wished that they would both realize that. But no, Lucas was being stubborn, and Brooke was leaving.

"No he doesn't Haley, he said the words himself, and I don't think I'll ever forget how much they hurt." When he told her he didn't love her, that he couldn't be with her, she thought it was all a sick joke. Then she looked into his eyes, and saw that they didn't hold anything for her, and that she couldn't read them like usual. It was only then that she realized he was serious, and that whatever she thought they had was over.

"Brooke he's scared," Haley tried to reason.

"No, he just doesn't want me, but that's fine, its not like we were even in a real relationship," Brooke tried to play off as if they were just casual acquaintances.

"Please, whatever you two are to each other, you're closer than most actual couples I know. Just cause the title isn't there doesn't mean the feelings aren't."

"Haley don't you think I know that, don't you think this is killing me inside." Brooke came and sat down next to Haley on the bed, leaning her head against the other girl's shoulder. "There is nothing I can do though, I gave him my heart and he just handed it right back to me."

Haley tightened her grip on Brooke, knowing that her friend's heart was breaking in two. "But…"

"No, no buts. I have to go to California whether you like it or not, so please quit unpacking my stuff and making it harder than it already is." Brooke screamed more forcefully than she intended, pulling away from Haley, and hastily throwing the pile Haley had unpacked back into the suitcase. Neither girl spoke, and Brooke walked back over to the closet, finding more things she needed to take with her.

"I'm just going to miss you." Haley softly said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

The two girls both had to hold back tears as they met in a tight embrace in the middles if Brook's bedroom. They hadn't been friends for that long, but in the time that they had spent together, they had almost become like family.

"Haley, Its not like I'm going to be gone forever, It's just for a little while." Brooke whispered softly in Haley's ear as she hugged her tighter.

"It's sill too long."

"But, its what I need, please try and understand that." Brooke said as she reluctantly pulled away.

"I am, but Brooke, I don't think leaving is the right answer, I think you have to fight for him." Haley knew it wasn't going to help, but she still had to try anyway.

"I don't think I have anymore fight left in me," Brooke sighed. "If he doesn't love me, then there is nothing I can do to change that."

"But what if he told you he did, that he made a mistake."

"I don't know, but I do know he's not going to change his mind. Lucas and I are over for good this time, and I can't do anything to change that as much as I would like to." Nothing was ever as easy as an 'I'm sorry, I made a mistake' with them. Maybe it was time they both realized that.

"It's going to be okay Brooke, it may not look like it now, but it will be, you'll see," Haley said quietly as she relented and began helping Brooke fold and put some of her things in the suitcase.

Brooke smiled slightly at this, even though Haley didn't want her to leave, she wasn't going to force her to stay, and she was grateful for the fact that at least one person wanted her to stay. Too bad it wasn't the right one.

_I know I'd never let you walk away  
So why do I push you 'til you break  
And why are you always on the verge of good-bye  
Before I'll show you how I really feel inside_

_-------------------------------_

The image of Brooke walking out of the hospital was going to be one that Lucas would never forget. He couldn't believe that he had let his foolish pride get in the way of their relationship again. He thought that she was going to come back in, he waited for her to tell him not to let go, but she hadn't, and he really couldn't blame her one bit.

She had been the one to stand by him and support him the most, and he had let her down. It had nearly killed him to lie to her about his feelings, to throw her leaving up in her face, but he had done it to save both his and her hearts. He shook his head regretfully, a lot of good that one did.

He shifted against the pillows in his room as he attempted to get comfortable. He had been evaluated by the doctor again, given some trial medication, and released. He and his mother had arrived home earlier in the day, and now he was under strict orders to rest. Rest however: didn't come so easily. Every time he shut his eyes, he saw her face, and the cruel words he told her echoed in his mind. Part of him wanted to slip out the door, ignore the orders of his mother and the doctor and go to her. The other part wanted to stay locked in the room, avoiding the rest of the world at all costs. The two voices were warring inside his head and the only thing that they could both agree on is that all of him was very much in love with the girl he pushed away.

So instead of making any action to right everything between he and Brooke, he sat staring at the red door he had painted for her so many months ago, hoping that something would make sense.

"You are the biggest jackass in the world, do you know that?"

Lucas knew who it was before the figure came fully into the doorway, and he chuckled a little at his brother's greeting.

"Shut up, Nate."

"Seriously man, what the hell did you do?"

Lucas sighed. Obviously Nathan had been around Haley and Brooke, and knew exactly what had happened.

"How much does she hate me?"

"She doesn't hate you at all. She's just hurt and very much in love with you, although I have no idea why after what you did." Nathan said as he sat down next to Lucas on the bed. He had been there, he had done the stubborn Scott thing, and now it was his turn to try and knock some sense into Lucas.

"Like you have any room to talk, you pushed Haley away." Lucas spat bitterly, not really thrilled with the idea of someone else telling him how much of an idiot he was.

"Yeah, but I realized what a dumbass I was being and let her back in."

"Well, Brooke and I aren't you and Haley, its complicated," Lucas sighed.

"Because your heart isn't perfect?" Nathan inquired softly after a moment of silence.

"How did you….."

"I talked to your mom. Look Luke, I know that this heart stuff scares you, but you can't push everyone away." Nathan said as he tried to hide the fact that he was finding out important things about Lucas from other people and not Lucas himself.

"I'm not."

"Bullshit," Nathan said lightheartedly. "You didn't even tell me or Haley, your brother and your best friend, that you were even having surgery. If that's not pushing people away, then telling the girl you've been brooding over for months that you don't care about her certainly is."

"I don't want to hurt her or get hurt." Lucas knew that Nathan was going to call him on that even before he finished speaking.

"Well you did a great job at that. You're miserable and she's leaving town- again."

"What?" Lucas yelled, nearly knocking Nathan to the floor. Brooke leaving? He couldn't have heard that correctly.

"Oh shit, I wasn't supposed to tell you that," Nathan grumbled before telling Lucas everything he knew. "Her parents called and wanted her to come back to California. She leaves today, and if I were you, I would get over whatever crap you are holding onto and tell her how you feel."

"I'm scared," Lucas quietly admitted after a moment's hesitation. "What if she still leaves? What if I tell her that my heart isn't perfect and she doesn't want me?" That was his biggest fear, that he would tell her he loved her but he wasn't completely healthy, and then she would leave him. He didn't know if he was strong enough to watch her walk out the door again and hop in a cab, leaving him behind. Although, he had almost forced her to do just that by telling her that he had no feelings for her.

"Man, if you really think that, then you don't know Brooke at all." Nathan and Brooke never had been Lucas and Haley, but being friends since diapers, he knew that Brooke would never walk away from someone she loved. "So do us all a favor and fix this. Haley has been moping around since the second Brooke announced she had to go."

"Nate, how did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Let Haley back in?"

"Dude, if you ever repeat this I will kill you because I am about to sound like such a girl. I just realized that Haley was my future, and that any moments I could have with her were so much better than a lifetime without her. Sometimes you have to just get over the fear that something is going to happen, and live in the moment. Because if you let her get on that plane again without knowing how you feel, I don't think you are ever going to get her back.

"Tell her that you love her Luke, you won't be happy until you do."

"Thanks Nate, or should I start calling you Doctor Phil." Lucas smiled as Nathan playfully pushed him.

"Shut the hell up. Your just lucky that I was the one that came to talk to you and not Haley, I really think you would have lost a limb if she came over here."

"I really screwed up didn't I?" Lucas said with a sigh. He had done this to himself, but Nathan made a lot of sense.

"It happens to the best if us. Just fix it. You know you are going to brood until you're with Brooke." Nathan got up, bumped fists with Luke and started walking to the door, he had done what he came to do, and hopefully Lucas would take his advice and put his heart on the line again for both his and Brooke's sake.

"Nate?" Lucas called as his brother reached the door. "What time is she leaving."

"I don't know, but she was packing when I left, so you better make up your mind and do it fast." With those last words, he was gone, leaving Lucas to make the decision for himself.

Lucas just sat there in shock for a couple minutes, mulling over the decision in his mind. Either he could let her go, take the easy way out, and lose her, or he could fight, take the hard way and take the risk by giving her his heart. In the end, the decision was an easy one, and Lucas knew exactly what he had to do.

_Does it always have to come down  
To you leaving  
Before I'll say "I love you"_

_----------_

"Brooke, why is it when you leave, I have to carry loads of heavy suitcases?" Peyton laughed as she flung Brooke's heavier suitcase into the back of her car.

"Because you love me?" the brunette slightly smiled as she teased Peyton. "Plus, Haley won't let me leave her side and I can't help," she laughed. Haley was standing behind Brooke, head on her shoulders, arms wrapped around her waist, holding her back.

"Nathan," Brooke screamed when she saw him pull up to the apartment. "Take your wife and make her let me go."

"I don't wanna," Haley wined into Brooke's shoulder.

Nathan laughed, gently tugged his wife away from her best friend. "Where have you been?" she asked.

"I had an errand to run," he said casually, but she took one look at him and knew he had been to see Lucas, and since there was only one Scott coming to tell Brooke good-bye, she assumed it didn't go well.

Brooke sighed as she looked to her three friends, painfully aware that one critical member of their group was missing.

"Guys, quit looking at me like that. It's not forever, I promise," Brooke said as she looked at Haley who was about to cry, Peyton who was trying to be strong, and even Nathan, who was pretending that nothing out of the ordinary was taking place.

"Well B. Davis, as much as I don't want you to go, we have to leave if you want to make your flight. Not even you can charm the plane into waiting," Peyton smiled as she threw her arm around Brooke's shoulder and led her to the car.

Brooke held the tears back as she climbed into the car. "Bye guys, don't miss me too much," she tried to sing-song in her cheery voice, but it failed her.

Haley clung to Nathan as she watched Peyton black convertible pull away. "I'm going to kill him the next time I see him."

"He's just scared Haley, but I really thought he would be here." Nathan said as they walked back into the house.

"So did I Nathan, so did I."

Haley and Nathan had been inside the apartment nearly ten minutes when they heard a loud banging on the door. Haley got up and walked over, opening it, nearly dropping her jaw to the ground when she saw who was standing on the other side with a bouquet of flowers that were obviously from a yard or garden.

"Lucas!"

"Haley, where is she, I have to talk to Brooke. I know she's mad, I know you are too, but I need to see her," he said, not noticing as the smile on Haley's face fell.

"You can't," she whispered.

"Look, I know I messed up, but please let me at least apologize to her, tell her that I…"

"She's gone."

"What?" he practically cried. He couldn't be too late, it couldn't be over, not when he finally realized that he couldn't let his pride or his fear get in the way, right when he realized that being with her was worth the risk.

"She left with Peyton for the airport about fifteen minutes ago. You're too late. I'm so sorry."

Lucas just stood there in shock for a moment before, turning around without saying a word and heading down the stairs.

"Luke, where are you going?"

"To get my girl, and bring her back," He said as he practically ran to his car, hoping to catch her before she left, and hoping even more that she would listen to him when he told her he couldn't live without her anymore.

_Does it always have to come down  
To you leaving  
Before I'll say "I love you"_


	21. Please Don't Let it Be

So, here it is. After almost two months, I have finally managed to get out of my funk and produce what I hope it a decent chapter. There is only one more and the prologue left and they are both nearly finished, so there hopefully won't be a two month wait, I hope you all are still here, and I thank each and every one of you for being so patient.

This is for Cathy and Amanda because they are my loves and I wouldn't know what to do without them.

On with the chapter….

Chapter 21 - Please Don't Let It Be

The ride to the airport was pretty much silent. The sounds of Jimmy Eat World blasted through the stereo of the black convertible and the two girls inside were both lost in thought. Peyton sat staring ahead at the road in front of her, one hand lightly interlaced with Brooke's as the other girl held on for support and gazed out at the scenery before them. This was how they worked; connected without words, just waiting for the chance for one of them to need the other, ready and willing for that time to come.

Brooke continued to stare out of the window, the past few weeks playing like a picture in her mind. She had sat in this exact same car when she came home from California, watching the trees pass as she made her way back into Tree Hill. Now she was watching as they flitted by in the other direction, and it seemed like another lifetime. If she had left a part of her heart in the small town before, she was leaving all of the shattered pieces there this time around.

She was still reeling from the events of the past couple of days, and from her latest fall out with Lucas Scott.

It seemed that they were best at breaking each other's hearts.

She thought of the moment when she first got back, the pure terror that she felt when she thought she might lose him; now looking back, what she felt then did not hold a candle to the pain she felt now. She felt hollow, almost like she was watching the world around her and not really living in it.

Part of her was furious with Lucas for throwing her leaving back up in her face over and over. It seemed that every time he was close to letting her back in that he would pull out that tired excuse of her leaving him, and he would push her away. It was almost funny how things worked sometimes. Usually it was her that was full of the excuses. Months ago he was the one that was fighting for her to let him back into her heart, and now that she had, she was the one fighting for the place in his.

The familiar sounds of Augustana's "_Boston_" floated from her cell phone, but she made no attempt to answer.

"You just going to let the phone ring?"

"I plan on it. Lucas made it clear that there was nothing more to say in hospital, and I don't think that I am strong enough to hear his apologies and explanations today." Brooke's tone left no room for comment.

Peyton let her eyes wander from the road in front of them as the airport came into view. "Maybe you should talk to him."

"I tired that Peyton," Brooke almost pleaded. "I poured out my heart to him and he still told me that we were through. I can't talk to him right now or I'll just break down, and I will not cry anymore tears over Lucas."

Peyton watched the hurt etched one Brooke's face as she grabbed her hand once again. She knew that Brooke was leaving to try and outrun her problems, but she hoped that with just a little break, she would be back and ready to fight for what she loved or whom she loved in this case. "Just don't stay gone too long B. Davis, you know that you belong in Tree Hill whether you're with Lucas or not."

"More like not. I think we're finally done."

Peyton just eyed her friend suspiciously but kept her mouth shut. She knew firsthand that whatever Lucas and Brooke had, it wasn't that easy to erase and it certainly wasn't over.

Without another word, she pulled the car up to the curb and got out to help Brooke once again with her luggage. Once the bags were out of the car, she reached over and pulled the brunette into her arms. " What is that saying you once used 'People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end.' Peyton said thoughtfully as she recited the same words Brooke once spoke to Lucas.

She reached over and squeezed the brunette's hand, whispering, "Maybe you and Lucas just haven't reached your end yet."

Brooke's brown eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she pulled away from her friends embrace ad turned to walk through the glass doors. "And maybe we were never meant to find our way in the first place."

Lucas threw down the cell phone in frustration as it went to her voicemail. He was currently breaking every speed limit imaginable in order to get to the airport in time to catch her. He didn't even want to think of the possibility of not making it on time, but he would fly to California if he had to in order to tell her that he loved her.

Dialing another familiar number, he decided that maybe talking to Peyton would be a better idea. Maybe she would at least answer his phone call.

"You are the world's biggest dumb ass" came the scathing voice on the other end/ There was no hello, no perfunctory greeting, just the tongue lashing of one Peyton Sawyer coming from the phone.

"I know, that seems to be the general consensus today. Look, is Brooke there? I need to talk to her."

"I just dropped her off at the airport, but even if she was here I wouldn't…"

"Shit. How long ago?" Lucas muttered as he glanced at his watch nervously.

"About five minutes. But, I don't think it…."

"How long until her plane leaves?" There was no way Lucas was going to give up now, and he wasn't going to let a couple obstacles get in his way.

"Lucas why are you asking me all of these questions?" Peyton asked, a little bit confused.

"Because I need to talk to her, I have to tell her…"

"I don't care what you have to tell her," Peyton fussed as she cut Lucas off before he could mutter a complete sentence. "I doubt words are going to be good enough this time. You know Brooke well enough to know that. You need a grand gesture." Peyton knew she was being mean, but Lucas had to know how much he had hurt Brooke, and from the looks of it, no one else was going to tell him.

"Like showing up at the airport and begging her not to leave?" Lucas said with almost a hint of hope in his voice.

"Yes, exactly like that." she paused. "Wait, is that why you are calling?"

"I wanted her to be the first to hear it, but I guess I have to tell you if I have any chance of getting to her in time. I love her, I want to be with her and I'm an idiot. And right now I am breaking every law imaginable so that she doesn't walk out of my life and Tree Hill for good. Now please tell me what gate she is at, and how to get to her."

"Gate 6D, she leaves in an hour." Peyton finally answered.

"Thank you Peyton, I promise I won't screw this up, and I promise you that I will never hurt her again." Lucas meant those words with every bone in his body.

"Just go get her Lucas, and I'm not the one you need to be telling this to. Anyone with eyes can tell you love her, but you two are the only ones that can't figure it out."

"I will this time."

"You better. Now hurry., you're going to need a while to convince her."

"I know. Thanks Peyt, you're a good friend." Lucas threw the phone back in the seat and stepped down even harder on the gas pedal. He had one chance to get Brooke back, and he knew that if he didn't get the chance to change her mind before she got on that plane, then all hope was lost. And saying goodbye to Brooke wasn't something he was willing to do ever again.

---

People watching had been one of Brooke's favorite pass times since she was a little girl. She would always watch the people milling about and make up scenarios for where they were going, who they were meeting, and why they were rushing on with their lives. It provided her the distraction to forget about everything going on in her own life and just lose herself in someone else's.

She took a spot at the airport Starbucks and slipped on her Ipod. She frowned as the first song came on, cursing herself for ever getting interested in the music Lucas listened to. Now it seemed that every moody, broody song he had downloaded for her was asking her to think of him. Not that she didn't think of him constantly anyway, but still listening to his music was just begging her heart to break a little more. Setting the Ipod to a random play-list she and Haley made, she sighed as she began watching the people passing her by, waiting for the moment that she left North Carolina.

---

Lucas threw the car into park at the airport terminal and ignored the protests of the airport security guards. He didn't care if he got a ticket or his car got towed, all he cared about was getting to Brooke in time.

Racing inside, he stopped short when he saw all of the people rushing about. He saw the direction that he assumed Brooke had gone in, but he wasn't sure exactly how to find her. Spotting the Customer Service desk, he got the idea in his mind that he was going to pull off something out of a movie. He just hoped that they would let him page the brunette, because if not, he had no idea how to find her.

"Excuse me, miss, is there any way that I can page someone?" Lucas asked sweetly as he walked over to the lady at the desk.

"Is it an emergency?" she asked dryly as she punched keys on the computer in front of her, not really paying attention to Lucas or his problem.

"Yes. No, I don't know. I really need to get in touch with someone in this airport." Lucas answered exasperated.

"You don't know if you have an emergency?" she asked sarcastically.

"Look, there's this girl, and I really have to talk to her before she boards her plane." Lucas pleaded with the woman.

The clerk looked at him scathingly, she had too much to do to play relay for some kid and his message. "Well, that's what cell phones are for, not the intercom at the airport."

"Please Miss," he tried one last time. "You see I love this girl, and I made a complete jackass out of myself with her. Now I have broken every speeding limit in the world just to tell her I that she's the one and that she can't leave. Now will you please at least give me that chance."

The clerk's eyes softened at the kid in front of her, and she could see the desperation and love in his eyes, sighing, she grabbed the black courtesy phone in front of her. "What's her name, son?"

"Brooke Davis. Thank you so much."

The lady tried to hide her smile as she hit the call button on the phone. "_Brooke Davis will you please come to the customer service desk. There is someone here to see you. Brooke Davis, please come to the customer service desk."_

Lucas sighed in relief, hopefully now he would get his chance to tell Brooke how badly he screwed up. All he had to do was wait, and find the exact right thing to say to her.

_--------_

Brooke sighed as she tossed her Vogue magazine into her carry on. She had been sitting here trying to distract herself for the last 25 minutes, and there was nothing she could do to erase Lucas' face from her mind. She watched countless number of people pass by, she had made up interesting stories for quite a few of them, but every time she saw a blonde haired boy, a little scenario played in her head. Because in her mind, every blonde haired boy was rushing to tell a gorgeous brunette girl that he was in love with her. She smiled sarcastically at her own nativity, reality was never quite as good as the fantasy in your mind.

Looking down at the Ipod menu, she realized that even the music wasn't distraction enough. Even the random songs that she and Haley had picked out late one night were reminding her of him. Picking a new song, she heard a faint noise coming from the airport speakers, but ignored it, and glanced down at her watch. Noticing that it was almost time to head over to the gate to begin boarding, she started to pack up her bags and get her stuff collected.

She glanced down at her cell phone and saw that she still only had the one missed call from Lucas earlier. Part of her wanted to open the phone and call him back, at least hear what he had to say, but the other part of her was determined to move on and quit wanting to be with him. Ignoring the part of her that wanted to call him back, she grabbed her bags and walked toward her gate, completely missing the announcement that Lucas was in the airport ready and willing to fight for her.

-------

"Son, I don't think she's coming." The clerk at the desk said sympathetically after watching the young man pace back and forth in front of the terminal for about ten minutes.

Lucas just looked at her broken-hearted and said, "I guess not. Thanks anyway."

The older lady just looked at him and finally smiled. "Don't give up just yet honey, maybe you'll find a way to get your girl after all."

He managed to crack a small smile, " I hope so."

He stood for just a moment as the people continued to file past him, none of them being Brooke, He had been so sure that he would find her, he had practiced every line in the book, and now it was all a waste. Either he had been too late, or she hadn't wanted to even hear what he had to say. Either way, he still wanted to hold onto the slight shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, all was not lost. He glanced at the main flight schedule, and found out that Brooke's plane had not begun boarding yet. He knew it was desperate, and he had just a slim chance of finding her, but he wasn't going to leave until he knew he had tried everything possible.

After about fifteen minutes of watching every person that was headed toward get 6D, he knew that it was over. He had missed his chance and let his own stubborn pride and fear chase her away. Head hung down low, he nearly missed the brunette beauty that was struggling with her cell phone. It was only the unique ringing of Jimmy Eat World that caused him to look up, and when he did the site that greeted him stopped him dead in his tracks.

-----

"Hey Peyton," Brooke said with as much fake enthusiasm as she could muster while she struggled to hold her phone and the various other items she was toting through the airport.

"Hey B. Davis, how's the airport?" Peyton was trying to be nonchalant about Lucas, and she knew that if the brunette he seen him or wanted to talk about it, she would. Peyton just hoped that Lucas had found Brooke and that they had at least gotten the chance to talk.

"It's an airport Peyton, I'm heading over to the gate now. You know that the wait takes forever. What's up?"

Peyton silently cursed, somehow Lucas hadn't found her yet, or he had chickened out, and she had no idea what to do. "Umm… nothing much. I was just calling to check on you, see if anything interesting had happened."

Brooke rolled her eyes at Peyton even though she knew the blonde couldn't see her. "Peyton, why are you acting weird? What interesting thing could have possibly happened at the…"

The words died in Brooke's throat though as she saw the site before her. She blinked over and over again just to make sure he was real before she choked out. "Peyton, I… I gotta go."

"Hey Pretty Girl."

"Lucas, what.. What are you doing here?" She knew that she looked ridiculous with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide, but she was afraid that he would disappear if she looked away. She wasn't quite sure if she really wanted him to be here or if she wanted to listen to what he had to say, but the fact that he _was_ here said a lot.

"I needed to see you before you left Brooke, I had to…."

"Lucas, save your apologies, we weren't meant to be, it happens." She mentally cursed herself as the words left her mouth, knowing she didn't mean a single one, but she wasn't going to let herself get her hopes up again just so he could dash them with one word.

"I can't Brooke. I need to tell you something, and it can't wait and I can't let you get on that plane without hearing this."

"Lucas there is nothing you can say…"

"I love you."

She just stood there in shock as he spoke. She had hoped and prayed for days that he would utter those words to her, but after yesterday, she steeled herself to the fact that it was just never going to happen. Now he was here and he was saying them, but for some reason her mind wouldn't let her heart believe that it was true.

"I know that I'm an idiot and I'm waiting till your leaving to tell you again, but I don't want you to go, not without me apologizing, not without you hearing how sorry I am that I hurt you. I know why you ran, I know why you were scared, and I never should have held that against you. I meant what I said when I told you I would never let you go again and I just need to know if you can forgive me?" He grabbed her hand as he spoke, needing to feel her touch, needing to feel her warmth.

_Flight 323 to San Francisco, please begin boarding._

"They're calling for me to board," she said tearfully as she went to pull her hand from his reluctantly. Just because he was here didn't change the fact that she was leaving in a matter of minutes. It didn't change the fact that he had said everything she wanted to hear and that he had once again done it right when it was too late.

"Brooke, please don't go." he pleaded. I know I've made mistakes, I know I've hurt you and I'm sorry. I was scared, and I was afraid to let you in. My heart… It's never going to be the same, and I didn't want you to be with me because I was sick, and I didn't want you to leave me because I wasn't well."

Almost involuntarily, her hand reached out until her palm was flat against his heart. She could feel it beat, and she could almost understand where he was coming from, but she wasn't sure if she could trust this, if she could trust her own heart when it was in his hands.

"I wouldn't have left you because of your heart." she said almost a little hurt.

"I know that now. I know I was looking for an excuse, and it was my own insecurities. Brooke I don't want to spend another day without you, I meant it when I said I loved you, I always have Pretty Girl, and I just need to know if you could love me back?"

_Flight 323 to San Francisco, this is your final boarding call._

Lucas stood still for what seemed like eternity waiting for her to say something, do something, but it was almost as if his words had frozen her in place. Finally she broke out into a huge grin, her dimpled smile melting away any of his insecurities. It was in that moment that he knew he was going to spend everyday for the rest of his life just waiting for her to smile his way.

Launching herself into his arms, she paused just inches away from his face, stopping right before their lips met. "I guess there will be other flights," and then she kissed him.

It was sweet and passionate, and to them, they were the only two people in the world at that moment. She was in his arms and every fiber of her being was in that kiss. She could feel it from her head to her toes, and most of all, she could feel it in her heart. Everything else just seemed to melt away, and it wasn't until they heard the faint sound of clapping in the background that either of them realized that they were still in a crowded airport full of people.

Breaking apart reluctantly, they both smiled sheepishly at the crowd of onlookers that they had acquired.

"Who would have ever thought that quiet Lucas Scott would ever make a spectacle like that?" she grinned as he reached over and grabbed her carry-on, holding onto it with one hand and her with the other.

"Anything for you." he smiled as he recited a familiar phrase.

"So I can't believe you were really going back to California for good Brooke, I never meant to hurt you that bad. I'm so sorry." Lucas was confused for a moment as the Brooke stopped in her tracks and began to chuckle softly

I wasn't leaving forever Lucas, only for two weeks. Did you really think you were going to scare me away for good?" The look in his eyes told her that he thought precisely that.

"I just thought…"

"You thought it was like last time?" she asked, knowing that this was something that they needed to clear up. "I guess that even though you said we were over, I could really never get you out of my mind. And I could never leave Tree Hill again, not for good."

"You mean I broke every speed limit, risked getting my car towed and had you paged to tell you how I felt, and you were coming back the whole time?"

She inwardly smiled at the thought of how much trouble he has gone to just for her. "Yes."

He chuckled, "You're lucky I love you, because you are so not worth the trouble," he teased as they walked to the main terminal of the airport and to Lucas' hopefully awaiting vehicle.

"Yes, I am. Now, shut up and take me home… boyfriend."

"Gladly." he said as he wrapped his arm just a little tighter around her and they walked in silence out the door.

"Oh and Lucas… I love you too."


	22. Whenever You Remember

Alright guys, this is it. It's over. I have officially finished the first story I have ever written. I apologize for the wait, but hopefully you enjoy the conclusion. I cannot thank you all enough for reading and reviewing. I never would have finished this without the support from each and every one of you.

This chapter is dedicated to four very special people. First to Jess, you wanted to be the first, and now you are. This is to her for sitting down and reading and reviewing every chapter just because she knew how much it meant to me.

That being said, this is for Sam who pushed me to start writing in the first place, and has been with me ever since. And for Amanda because the first chapter of her new Brathan fic, He Said Forever, was just the inspiration I needed to finish this up. And last but not least to Cathy just because she is Cathy and I love her. Lots and lots and lots.

Oh and please ignore any typos. It was late and I was way to excited to wait.

**Chapter 22- Whenever You Remember**

_When you look back on times we had  
I hope you smile  
And know that through the good and through the bad  
I was on your side  
When nobody could hold us down  
We claimed the brightest star  
And we, we came so far  
And no they won't forget, yeah_

"Brooke are you ready?"

Haley's voice Broke her out of her trance and she turned from the full-length mirror after checking her appearance one last time. "You bet you ass I'm ready, Tutorwife," she grinned as she sauntered out of the dressing room and into the back of the church.

She watched as Haley and Peyton sat there and made odd expressions at her as she walked by. "What, guys do I have something on my dress?"

Peyton unceremoniously giggled as she gripped Haley's hand t keep from crying. "You look beautiful Brooke," she exclaimed, trying to keep her tears at bay. She knew Brooke would yell if any bit of the thunder was taken from her today of all days.

"I still can't believe you're wearing white," Haley lovingly teased her brunette friend, knowing that if she didn't lighten the mood, they would all start crying and ruin their makeup.

"Not all of us got married at sixteen Haley, and white is pretty. Besides, the lightening hasn't struck me down yet, so I guess God is okay with my choice in wedding attire." Brooke pouted as she stood at the back of the church being poked and prodded by the wedding planner she hired for the big day.

"I can't believe this is it. I'm finally getting to marry Lucas." The two bridesmaids looked to Brooke as she said the words, but both knew her mind was wandering from the far-off expression on her face. "Do you two remember the day that we were all brought together again?"

This time it was Peyton's turn to get the far-away look on her face as she loving looked down at the solitaire engagement ring that adorned her own finger. "Like it was yesterday."

"_Broody, will you get me a blanket I'm cold." Brooke whined from her current position on top of her boyfriend of three months. _

"_Well Cheery, I would, but there are two problems with that. One, you are on me and you would have to move, and two Nathan and Haley are making out on top of the blanket you want me to get you." Lucas laughed as he watched his brother and his wife make out on top of the blankets they had brought out for a picnic at the Rivercourt._

"_Well, I don't want to move, so we'll have to find another way to get that blanket," she winked and then did exactly what Lucas expected her to do._

"_P.Sawyer. Come here," she called to the curly blonde who was sitting a few feet away sketching in her book, and trying to ignore the two happy couples that she was surrounded by constantly. _

_Lucas laughed behind Brooke's shoulder, "You know she is going to kill you, don't you?"_

"_She loves me."_

"_And so do I," Lucas responded before turning Brooke in his lap and kissing her._

"_If you two called me over here just so I could watch you make out, I have a news flash for you. I see it all the time." Peyton laughed as she rolled her eyes playfully and sat down next to her best friends. She didn't mind the constant coupley-ness from them all most of the time, but sometimes she felt a small twinge of jealousy when she realized that Jake wasn't there for her to be all coupley with. But of course she was Peyton, so she would never admit any of this, not even to Brooke or Haley._

"_Oh hush, you know you enjoy the free show."_

"_Peyton nudged Brooke playfully and asked, "So what was so important that you had to interrupt me from drawing to come over here?"_

"_Will you get me a blanket?" Brooke asked in a sugary tone as she pointed over at Nathan and Haley who were still making out on top the blankets._

"_Brooke," Peyton yelled in mock annoyance as her best friend made puppy dog eyes at her. "I can't believe you called me over here to get you a blanket. Wait, yes I can, I just can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for it. Besides, if you're so cold, why don't we go home. We've been out here for hours."_

"_Why don't we stay a little longer, something pretty amazing might happen."_

_Peyton rolled her eyes again, but nodded nonetheless. "Only if we can get the newlyweds over there to quit making out."_

"_Nate, why don't we play a game of one on one," Lucas called out, hoping that basketball would be the one thing to distract him from Haley's lips. Lucas was right, as Nathan finally came up for air, and Haley blushed a little awkwardly from being caught blatantly groping her husband._

"_You plan on loosing big brother?" Nathan cockily asked as he sauntered over to the group and went to retrieve the ball they left at the court._

"_I never lose," Lucas laughed as he watched Brooke face him with a worried look in her eye._

"_Broody, are you sure you can play?"_

_Kissing her forehead reassuringly, he said, "The doctors cleared me for light physical activity because of how well the medication is working. And besides, if you haven't gotten my heart rate overexcited, I doubt a little ball will." He raised his eyebrows suggestively at her._

_Whispering seductively in his ear she said, "Well, beat Nathan and we'll see how excited I can make you."_

"_Guys," Peyton yelled as she tossed the coveted blanket forcefully at the now kissing couple. "Can't you two do anything else._

_Breaking apart, Lucas moved Brooke off his lap, jumped up and then extended his hand to her. "No," they grinned simultaneously._

"_Whatever. At least watching the boys play ball is more entertaining."_

"_For you maybe," Brooke giggled as she bumped hips with Peyton and laughed as Haley came around to her other side, blanket in tow, covering all three girls. _

_The boys started playing and the girls took turns cheering for their favorite Scott. Nathan pouted when Haley accidentally cheered for Lucas as he made a great play. The game continued for a little while with the girls losing a bit of interest, even with the sweaty boys before them. Haley sighed contently as she rested her head on Brooke's shoulder and watched as Peyton once again worked diligently on her sketch of the three of them._

"_Today was almost perfect," she said, the lazy days of early summer starting to take hold of her. _

_Brooke carefully nudged Haley as she saw a much anticipated figure walking up to the group. "I think its about to get a little better," she grinned before getting Peyton's attention. "Don't you think P. Sawyer?"_

"_Nate, I think old Luke here could use a little saving from the ass kicking your giving him. Maybe I should show you the tricks you've forgotten since I've been gone."_

_Everyone stopped as the familiar voice broke through. Nobody moved, especially the curly blonde who stood there, eyes wide, trying to figure out if she was imagining things._

"_Jake."_

_And like lightening she was off the bench and in his arms, hugging him for all she was worth. _

_Nathan and Brooke exchanged knowing winks as they saw Peyton truly smile for the first time in a long time._

"_Sometimes they come back, right Peyton?" Nathan smiled as he pulled Haley in his arms and watched the tender scene before them._

_Peyton stood there for what seemed like hours just relishing in his touch. "You're back?" she asked, almost afraid to know the answer._

"_I told you, forever wouldn't be long enough. I'm back, for good." he added after a moment._

_Looking into his eyes, she asked the question they both already knew the answer to. "Why?"_

"_You." he stated simply and then captured her lips in a searing kiss._

_Brooke smiled at the scene as she pulled Lucas closer. They had all had their share of trials and tribulations, but they were together again, all six of them. Just the way it should be._

The girls all smiled at the memory, and at how life had seemed to work out for all of them after that. Still thick as thieves, the group had been inseparable since then, and still were to this day.

"It seems like we were so young back then," Haley mused as the wedding planner shuffled the girls into their rightful places in the wedding party.

"Looks like we're all grown up now, huh B. Davis?" Peyton laughed as she took her place right beside Haley. Brooke refused to pick between the two so she had dubbed them her maid and matron of honor and requested that they walk down the isle together, because they both earned that special right.

"Yeah I guess we have," Brooke contentedly smiled as she thought about how far they had all come. "Now we just have to get you hitched P.Sawyer, soon-to-be Jagielski, and we will be all set."

"Let's make it through this wedding first, okay Brooke," Peyton laughed as the music started to play.

"I think that's our cue, see you at the other end of the isle, Mrs. Scott," Haley winked as they were ushered out of the room and towards their men who were all undoubtedly waiting on the other side.

_When you think back on all we've done  
I hope you're proud  
When you look back and see how far we've come  
It was our time to shine  
And nobody could hold us down  
They thought they'd see us fall  
But we, we stood so tall  
And no we won't forget, yeah_

Brooke stood at the back of the church just waiting for her cue to walk down the isle and to the love of her life. She couldn't believe how far they had come, all of them, and just how happy they had been.

She thought about graduation day, as they all said good-bye to THS and to the part of their past that made them the young adults they were. She remembered the last time she stepped foot in the Durham Fieldhouse, and the contentment she found when it was Lucas who led her out, and to the beginning of her future.

She thought back to their first year in college, the awful apartments they all shared and the ridiculous arguments they had over teams and dishes.

She remembered the days that she thought she and Lucas were going to kill each other, just to later realize those were the days that had made them the strongest.

As she heard the wedding march begin to play, and saw the congregation rise, she knew it was time to complete one more milestone in her life, and once again, Lucas would be there, leading her out, and towards the beginning of her future.

_  
And we, we came so far  
You know that we, we showed them all  
And no they won't forget, yeah_

She took the first steps down the isle, and that was when she saw him, baby blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. He was smirking at her with his trademark Scott grin, and she was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. This was the happiest she had ever been, and she knew without a doubt, that she and Lucas had found their "end" and that it was each other. As she got closer, she caught his eye, saw his smile, and was instantly transported back to the night when he had asked her to be his forever.

"_Why are you guys making me do this? I don't want to talk to him. You are supposed to be my friends, MY friends, not helping him in this insane plot to make me forgive him. He does not exist to me." Brooke Davis sat in the back seat of Haley's car, arms folded, a permanent scowl etched on her pretty little features and a pout the size of Texas on her face. _

"_Brooke, he does exist, he is your boyfriend and you love him." Peyton leaned over from the front seat and patted her friend patronizingly on the arm._

"_I do not. He is stupid. I do not love stupid people."_

"_I still don't know why you are mad at him in the first place." Haley interjected from her position in the driver's seat. _

_Peyton rolled her eyes at Haley's comment, she knew it was going to spark yet another tirade from their eccentric best friend. Shifting back into her seat, she sighed as she waited for the Brooke Davis explanation._

"_I am mad because I am going to die an old maid."_

"_Brooke, you're only twenty-one," Haley blurted out, but was silenced by the glare Brooke was giving in the rear-view mirror._

"_Peyton gets engaged before me, and what does Lucas do? He ignores all the signs that I want to get engaged and tells me he thinks we should wait a few more years. I do not want to wait a few more years. This is the boy that is supposed to be head over heels in love with me. It should not take him a few more years to make me his wife. Brooke Davis will not wait around forever, I want my pretty ring now." She finished with a huff and continued to pout with her arms folded across her chest in the back seat. _

_Peyton and Haley shared a knowing look as they pulled into the old parking lot at the River Court. They knew that Brooke would be singing a different tune as soon as she spoke to Lucas._

"_Aright Brooke, we're here. You have to get out the car and talk to Lucas. Now." Peyton said in the sternest of tones._

"_No."_

"_Brooke, don't you dare make me haul my pregnant self out of this car and physically remove you from the vehicle." Brooke caught the look in Haley's eyes and knew that Tutorwife meant business._

"_Fine," she huffed as she unhappily grabbed the knob and threw the car door open. "Just because I'm listening to you doesn't mean I'm happy about it."_

"_We know sweetie," Haley said as she and Peyton started to drive away before Brooke could jump back in the car. "But you will be, trust us." And then they were gone._

_Brooke sighed as she turned around and faced the Rivercourt, grumbling as she did. All of her mutters of protest died in her throat and she saw the concrete was filled with rose petals and covered in candles. _

"_Lucas?" she called out when she didn't see anyone in sight. "Please tell me its you, and I'm not being Punk'd."_

"_Hey Pretty Girl."_

_There he was standing in a tux, holding out a single rose to her. As she took the rose in her hand, she smiled despite herself. He had been the only boy to pay attention to the fact that she hated red roses or pink roses. He was the only one that knew she liked to be different, and her favorite roses were peach with a crimson tip; Romance roses. Breathing in its scent, she realized that the term fit, this scene was definitely bordering on romantic._

"_Did you do all of this just so I would speak to you?" she tried to glare, but instead her thought betrayed her and she sent him the tiniest of smiles._

"_That was the plan." His smile melted her heart and she knew she was putty in his hands, despite the fact that she was still mad at him. "Is it working?"_

"_Maybe," she coyly responded as he led her to the small table set up in the middle of the court. "Lucas what are you doing?" _

_Lucas didn't respond, but instead simply dropped down to one knee and gently grabbed her tiny hand is his much larger one. _

"_I'm trying to ask you a question. A very important question," he said as he used his free hand to fiddle with the bow-tie around his neck._

"_But I thought you wanted to wait a few years. I was mad at you, why did you make me get mad at you?"_

_He chuckled lightly as she fired off questions at his in typical Brooke Davis form. He knew that if he didn't so something to quiet her, she was going to go on all night._

"_I made you mad a me because I didn't want to ruin the surprise when I asked you to marry me."_

"_Marry you?" she choked out, barely even able to breathe. Here he was, doing everything right, and she couldn't even gather up the words to speak._

"_Yes marry you. I want to marry you Brooke Davis, I want to marry you today, I wanted to marry you yesterday, and I sure as hell will want to marry you tomorrow." he smiled as he saw her dimpled grin through the tears that were slowly making their way down her cheeks._

"_Why?" she asked, and he knew that she wasn't doubting him , but that she still simple needed to know why she was the woman he wanted to be his wife._

"_Because you are the only woman that can make me love her to pieces even when she is being unreasonable. Because I know that every time you have a good idea or a new sketch you are going to find me or wake me up, just to see if I like it. Because you wear my clothes and steal my socks just so my scent lingers with you the whole day. Because I know you have had this planned in your head forever and I had to do it right so you can have the perfect story to tell our grandkids. Because I know you wanted it to be like this, just the two of us on some random Tuesday so that you can have just one more day that is special to only us. And," he paused as he pulled out a black box from his pocket. "Because I know that all you have ever wanted was a ring exactly like this because it reminded you of your grandmother and you used to worship her as a child."_

_He stopped for a moment as he placed the perfect cushion cut diamond with channel set diamond accents on her finger, and watched as she shook and cried, and smiled that melting smile at him. "And lastly, because its always been you. You've been the only girl to really get into my heart, and I cannot imagine spending one more day without you as my wife. So I am asking you, Brooke Penelope Davis, will you marry me?"_

_She sat there stunned for just a second before she launched herself out of the chair she had been sitting on and into his arms, knocking them both to the ground. "Yes. Oh my God, YES!" she cried as she placed small, quick, soft kisses on his face._

_Smiling down at him from her position on his chest, she grabbed him one last time, and kissed him with everything in her. Then she pulled away, and swatted him on the arm - hard._

"_Owww, what was that for," he laughed as he pulled her closer to him. "You are not allowed to abuse your fiancé."_

"_That was for making me get mad at you," she pouted before smiling widely at him and bending down to kiss him once again._

"_Yes m'am," he laughed as he gently flipped them over so that he was carefully positioned above her, staring happily into her eyes._

"_Lucas, say it again," she playfully prodded._

"_Say what, the word fiancé?" he asked as he pretended to pause and guess what she was talking about._

_She purred contentedly, "It feels good to hear you call me that."_

"_It feels good to say it," he winked as he started trailing kisses down her neck. Giggling al the way, Brooke laughed as the two lovers made great use of the deserted court, the roses and the candles._

_Whenever you remember I'll be there  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember_

She made her way down the isle, and finally to her groom, he grabbed her hand, and winked at her, and she knew that this was right.

She smiled as she looked at her two best friends, and then turned to see the men that had been their true loves. She smiled again as Lucas gently kissed her hand and recited words that only he could come up with. She cried as she recited her own, and looked into his eyes. She saw nothing but love reflecting back, and she knew deep in her heart that they would always be this way.

She smiled at the priest and knew that it was finally time.

"Do you Brooke Davis, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" She heard the preacher ask the question, but all she could do was get lost in the baby blue eyes of the first and only boy she had ever loved.

She heard herself say "I do" and then heard him repeat the same.

The words were spoken and they were declared husband and wife. She was officially Mrs. Lucas Scott and there was no greater feeling in the world.

Brooke giggled as she saw his hand come up to her face and gently cup it. "Are you sure you want to be stuck with me forever?" she grinned as he brought his lips closer to hers.

"I wouldn't want it an other way," he smiled back before capturing her lips in his own and marking the start of their new life. Together.

As they walked hand in hand down the isle, smiling for the cameras, watching as their friends and family all sheered them on, Brooke realized that this is what perfect felt like. This was the one day that she would always remember as the day that all her dreams came true. Because as silly as it sounded, Lucas was the only dream that mattered.

Everything else, they would achieve together.

_Whenever you remember times gone by  
Remember how we reached that dream together  
Whenever you remember_

_----------_

**That's it, Its over and hopefully I have done it justice. I thank you all for your encouragement and support, and I do hope that you leave me a review and let me know what you think. They are always very much appreciated, and besides, this is the last time you'll get your chance. lol. Thank you all for sticking it out. I hope I did not disappoint.**

**-Maggie**


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